Confidential Pony Confessions: part one, AJ

[Tuxedo Kamen! 114]

So, I wrote this in a rush during my lunch monday, so Please, Please, PLEASE , tell me any mistakes you find. if you have any writing tips please share. I way overused (I) and told the story from the past, which is usually a big mistake for me, but i wanted it to be more like an interview. idk, I just kinda need help with this one...... TY everypony.

Confidential Pony Confessions, Applejack.docx

Edited June 28, 2012 by Applezoid&DerpyWolf

[Jibus 192]

I'll make sure to as soon as I get the chance already got it saved on my laptop

[Skye Starlight 223]

Aww! That's sorta sweet... Well, the ending was sweet... It's just that middle bit that got me down...

[Tuxedo Kamen! 114]

I'll make sure to as soon as I get the chance already got it saved on my laptop

 

Thanks for taking the time, its really rough, and i plan to rewrite it a few more times before i send it to a fanfic site, so once you read it please tell me what i can improve on.

Aww! That's sorta sweet... Well, the ending was sweet... It's just that middle bit that got me down...

 

The end is definitely the highlight. What can i fix? Do you think it's too sad? idk, any suggestions would be wonderful. Thanks for reading it!!!!!!!!