How would you like to have a place in the mythical food product industry?

[Evilshy 5,090]

So, I have this student website I'm building. It's a company called Eldritch Meat, and we sell the meat of mythical animals, as well as mythical plants, seeds and stuff. The we sell them online.

 

Now, I am a pretty creative guy, but I can't do this all myself. If anybody has any ideas and are okay with me using them, post them here. You will be credited, most likely as a small name on our "list of hunters/farmers/scientists/etc" page, so give a name to call you by. I'll default to your username if you don't give one, but that will look kinda weird (if you have a preference as to what position you'll be listed under, say so in your post).

 

 

I also need some higher up personnel, so if you do not object to me using your picture, post it. You can give me a fictional bio and desired position if you want, or I can come up with one for you.

 

Now, don't feel obligated to give me your photos or do work for me (I'm not cheating, the professor said we can get our content and photos and stuff from anywhere as long as we're not stealing it and all the code is mine), but it'd be a lot of help, since finding a ton of free-to-use pictures will be a pain.

 

 

Open positions

 

-Lead Hunters (probably 2 or 3. The most skilled hunters, now mostly managers, but they still go out to tackle larger prey)

-Lead Agricultural Engineer (also 2 or 3. Similar to Lead Hunters, 'cept with plants. There are some dangerous ones, you know)

-Propaganda Public Relations (just 1. Mainly tasked with making sure our dirty secrets remain well hidden, and convincing the general public that everything we do is completely ethical because it totally is)

- Head(s) of Research and Development (1 or 2. The head scientists, who oversee the experimentation and stuff)

- Financial Officer (only 1. Head of the business side of things, and the one in charge of figuring out how to get us the most money without sacrificing too much quality. Obviously the prices can be kept high since we have a monopoly on this stuff )

 

And an unlimited number of positions for hunters, farmers, scientists, botanists, office workers, etc.

[Champion RD92 8,658]

Sooooo exactly what kind of ideas are you looking for?

Also, what is the point of us choosing these positions? I'm a bit confused on how we would be playing a part in this.

Edited December 1, 2012 by RainbowDash92

[Evilshy 5,090]

If you were buying some supernatural food products, what would you be looking for?

 

Also, I'm basically crowdsourcing some the personnel pages because I don't want to have to find pictures and come up with bios for all of them myself.

[Standard User 2,127]

Star Spawn sushi sounds delicious. (How can you not know what Star Spawn are?)

More on topic, this sounds like a pretty fun idea. If you need more ideas I have spare brain-processing space to fill with mythical delicacies. 

[Fridge 382]

I know few mythical meat types, ingrediants and plant types I can suggest.

 

Mogwai Meat

Unicorn Tears

Clockwise Haggis Fillets

Anti-clockwise Haggis Fillets

Angolan sauntering tree leaves

Snipe meat

 

Plenty more where that came from

Edited December 2, 2012 by Fridge

[Jammo 986]

Jersey Devil Spicy Grilled Wings

 

Shub'burgerath, the lovecraftian meat patty

 

Big, Braised Bigfoot foot

 

Quetzofallafal

 

Loch Ness Meatpie

 

Banshee Loaf (Shrieks when you cut it!)

 

Ghost Lard

 

Semi-translucent extraterrestrial green alien meat paste we got from a meteor

 

Cerberus Dogs (Splits into three ends)

 

Z-Grade All Purpose Meat (The Z stands for Zombie!)

Edited December 2, 2012 by Jammo

[Evilshy 5,090]

All of these are nice ideas, and when I get to meat, I will definitely be using some. However, I'm a bit stuck on my Class A produce, which is produce that is highly magical, extremely dangerous, or has reality warping attributes. So far, I have reannual corn (corn which grows and produces ears of corn before it has been planted, based on Discworld's reannual plants) and SCP-083 (a tree that clones things that touch it). I'm also probably going to use Sapient Pearwood (wood that literally follows you anywhere, including to the afterlife and into alternate dimensions), also from Discworld.

 

So, what are some highly magical plants and stuff? Preferably not trees, I have too many trees as it is so far.

 

 

I'm finished with Class D produce, and all of the Class B was destroyed in our ongoing war against our rivals (Wal-Mart All Supernatural Food Division), but I could use some ideas for more Class C produce (somewhat magical or dangerous).

[Standard User 2,127]

All I can really think of for supernatural plants are Ents and Devil's Snare from Harry Potter. There are a couple "plant-like" Elder Gods in the Lovecraft mythos, but good luck finding descriptions of them, let alone pictures...

 

I'll keep looking for plant-y goodness.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I love this idea so much!

• Cthulu Kabob complete with Yog-Sothoth Sauce
• Snake-Bat Slurpees?
• Vampire Veal
• Basilisk Bites
• Pandrite Loaf (a pandrite is a mythical creature I invented which looks like a cute, adorable baby panda to draw you in, but then it bites you and swallows you whole like a snake when you least expect it)
• Roc Wings
• Weeping Angel Wings (that's some serious big game hunting )
• Pixie Puffs (you could expand into the dessert industry too )
• Transylvania-Fired Hippogriff
• Kappa Cocktail

[Evilshy 5,090]

• Pandrite Loaf (a pandrite is a mythical creature I invented which looks like a cute, adorable baby panda to draw you in, but then it bites you and swallows you whole like a snake when you least expect it)

 

 

Soooo... Nibbler from Futurama?

 

 

And you did just give me an idea (albiet in an indirect way), to say that we are introducing a new brand name product, Buffalo Angel Wings. It can have it's own page and everything

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

Soooo... Nibbler from Futurama?

 

 

And you did just give me an idea (albiet in an indirect way), to say that we are introducing a new brand name product, Buffalo Angel Wings. It can have it's own page and everything

I wouldn't know. I don't watch TV.

 

Buffalo Angel Wings will be awesome. The slogan should be, "Buffalo Angel Wings: They're Divine."

[Evilshy 5,090]

Buffalo Angel Wings will be awesome. The slogan should be, "Buffalo Angel Wings: They're Divine."

 

Totally using that

 

 

Also, here's my latest plant:

 

SAD Bush

SAD bushes are small flowering bushes that suffer from severe Separation Anxiety Disorder. When the grow to maturity, they form a special attachement to the one who tended to them the most (though, there have been isolated cases of a SAD bush attaching to several people at once). This person legally becomes the bushes owner. After this has happened, they will use an as-of-yet unknown supernatural method to track this person, making sure they are never too far away. If the person gets farther than approximately 700 meters from the bush, it will uproot itself using similar supernatural methods and follow the person, using it's roots to creep along the ground at surprising speeds.

If the attached person is somewhere that would be impossible for a SAD bush to crawl to, it's sadness and anxiety will increase until it reaches a critical mass, at which point it will start to interfere with spacetime. The bush will then begin to hover, or even fly, towards it's owner at high speeds until it catches up to them. When it finds them, it will attempt to snuggle with the person no matter what they are doing. If the owner dies, the plant will die as well.

Studies involving a man who committed suicide and was subsequently resurrected (You can too! See our Class A meat page for Phoenix Breast Meat!) confirmed that a SAD bush will follow it's owner to the afterlife in some kind of spiritual form.

Because of the obvious problem of growing SAD bushes ourselves, we only sell seeds. You are advised not to plant more than a few seeds at once unless you plan to kill the bushes or are particularly bad at gardening.

Seeds - $10,000 per 10g packet (approx. 100 seeds)

 

 

I decided to go with Griffon Wings instead, so I could throw in an MLP reference. Here's a little advertisement that will go on an advertisements page or something. I think it came out pretty nicely.

 

[Standard User 2,127]

Every time I open this topic, my stomach growls just a little louder. Either I'm starving for some good ole' Brahmin steak, or I have the Alien from Alien vs. Predator lodged in my OH SWEET CELESTIA THERE IT IS

 

[Evilshy 5,090]

Every time I open this topic, my stomach growls just a little louder. Either I'm starving for some good ole' Brahmin steak, or I have the Alien from Alien vs. Predator lodged in my OH SWEET CELESTIA THERE IT IS

 

 

 

Dude, yes. I'm totally going to sell Xenomorph steak now. With the name changed, of course, but it will be pretty obvious what it is

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I know you finished the project, but I thought of another idea. How about Daemon Dumplings? The slogan could be, "The Dark Side has Never been this Delicious."

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

I looked in my pantry

and there is not enough Griffon.

 

I think I must hunt some griffon.

Some particularly offensive and makes-ponies-cry griffon.

 

It is tasty.