writing Is it Worth It?; Three Seconds [Poetry]

[#1 Flutterfan 174]

 

Every night I cry myself to sleep,

Every night the cold knife cuts my raw shoulder,
Every night I feel the pain brought on by your actions, 
Every night I question myself;
Is it worth it?

Every night after asking this I find myself answering the same way.
Yes, it is worth it.
All of the smiles, laughs, grins and chuckles that you express because of me,
My pain, tears and hatred of myself that come from your actions,
Your pain, tears and hatred of yourself that comes because of me,
It is worth it.

Is it because I like seeing you in pain,

Or is it because you like seeing me in pain?
No, love is ipso facto, without pain...

Love would be just another empty emotion.

 

 

I wrote this back in 2006 and slightly revised it. I'm terrible with rhymes.

---

 

 

Tonight someone terrorizes sovereignty

Someone tyrannical solidifies
Tomorrow’s sanctity, today.
Soon, the solid three seconds
Thwart shockingly through, so they
Split through shields that surround
The sanctuary that shells the
Saturnine template, saying “Thou shalt
Thwart such temporary ‘Solutions’ that
Succumb to such terrorism spreading
Thoughtfully, swiftly ‘til, soon, the
Soldier that shines ‘til sunrise
‘Twill surround the surrounding terrorists,
Strike them, save the solitude,
The sovereignty!”  Still… today
Solidity takes such toll, such that soon
The silver trigger shoots…THUMP…
Such the sorrowful theorist sinks.

 

 

With this one--I wanted to do something unique--and make every other word alternate between a letter, for this, T and S. I thought it added some alliteration and unique quality to it.

[Rainbow Skywalker 642]

Um, well these certainly DONT bring around the holiday spirit.  But I guess that's kind of the purpose.  I really noticed the alliteration in the second one even before I read that you had tried to do that.  It certainly is a unique style that I had never even considered before I read this.  I guess I like it.  It gives the feeling that  the poem is constantly consistent throughout it's development.  There's always the alliteration element to fall back on even if the feeling is lost on an action line such as the second to last line.  Even then, "The Silver Trigger ShootS" Is filled with the entirety of the overall theme of the poem, just through that alliteration.  Good job.

[#1 Flutterfan 174]

They don't bring around holiday joy?!

 

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle All the Way!
Oh what fun, it is to ride--with Celestia in your way~

But I do thank you for that. These were written a while back--just needed to revise them, and I'm really not all that great with holiday joy (though you aren't barking up the wrong Fluttershy[she's a tree y'know?]) I can write a good holiday theme'd one but it would take a bit.  

With the second poem--it's kind of hard to tell if I like it, that's why I like "I guess I like it" because that's exactly how I felt, too. Writing it it sounded great--reading it it was a bit rough. There needs to be a flow that I haven't established, yet. And I hope to do that--I recorded it once in a studio--and I just need to find the way it sounded again and record it for you all. I figure if I post my poems here, I can read it aloud and then have the readers listen to it and determine if they read it the same way or if they like it read another.