Alicornia: the Last of the Ponies

[soullessduck 123]

Hey! I am just wondering if I should continue my fanfic or not, I havent updated it in a while because no one seems to be liking it               Any (nice) comments will be apreciated :3

Heres the link :3   http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8326619/1/Alicornia-The-Last-of-the-Ponies

[Stellafera 3,836]

From the title I thought this was going to be an Avatar: The Last Airbender crossover, and was like "Dang I planned on doing that".

 

Anyways, back on topic. It's pretty fresh to see one of the mane 6 other than Twilight be the last one, so that was nice. I'd recommend looking over the grammar though, and starting a new paragraph when a pony speaks. It makes it easier on the eyes.

 

The main thing to think about is taking your time. There are a lot of interesting new concepts you are bringing to your story, but the reader must understand and familiarize themselves with them to appreciate your work. You might want to get the introductions done and over with and get to the thrust of the plot, but introducing a story carefully is one of the most important things to do. To paraphrase a teacher I had, "If you keep rushing past the setup to get to your epic suspenseful climax, there won't be suspense and it won't be epic." 

 

I'm sometimes left confused as to what is going on. Skylar? Who is she and why does Luna know her? She seems to be related to her? I'm not trying to make fun of you or turn you off from writing. That was just one of my personal questions.

 

I agree with one of the reviewers that you should put it on FIMFiction, first. You might get more feedback and views. But also, don't give up! I think almost everybody starts out facing a lot of criticism  The writers who seem to do great the first time around might have written in other communities or other contexts first or otherwise have had more practice. Read some of your favorite fanfictions (or find some good ones) and ask yourself why you liked them. Read your favorite books and ask the same. Ask other writers in the community; I haven't published any fanfiction yet, so not me, but look around! There's plenty of friendly people willing to help.

[soullessduck 123]

From the title I thought this was going to be an Avatar: The Last Airbender crossover, and was like "Dang I planned on doing that".

 

Anyways, back on topic. It's pretty fresh to see one of the mane 6 other than Twilight be the last one, so that was nice. I'd recommend looking over the grammar though, and starting a new paragraph when a pony speaks. It makes it easier on the eyes.

 

The main thing to think about is taking your time. There are a lot of interesting new concepts you are bringing to your story, but the reader must understand and familiarize themselves with them to appreciate your work. You might want to get the introductions done and over with and get to the thrust of the plot, but introducing a story carefully is one of the most important things to do. To paraphrase a teacher I had, "If you keep rushing past the setup to get to your epic suspenseful climax, there won't be suspense and it won't be epic." 

 

I'm sometimes left confused as to what is going on. Skylar? Who is she and why does Luna know her? She seems to be related to her? I'm not trying to make fun of you or turn you off from writing. That was just one of my personal questions.

 

I agree with one of the reviewers that you should put it on FIMFiction, first. You might get more feedback and views. But also, don't give up! I think almost everybody starts out facing a lot of criticism  The writers who seem to do great the first time around might have written in other communities or other contexts first or otherwise have had more practice. Read some of your favorite fanfictions (or find some good ones) and ask yourself why you liked them. Read your favorite books and ask the same. Ask other writers in the community; I haven't published any fanfiction yet, so not me, but look around! There's plenty of friendly people willing to help.

 Thank you so much for the comment x3

I haven't updated the story since about September, and the first chapter was in August, this is sort of just a little quirky thing I typed up. I mainly write in the book I'm writing (which isn't pony-related), but I also wanted to start a fanfiction so  yeah, this is what happened xD. I mainly was wondering if the idea of this was even worth re-writing at all! And I've decided I'm probably going to re-write it! :3

 (also an Avatar-FiM crossover sounds epic )

 Thanks again for your comment, I really appreciate the feed back!