The Beginning Of One Of My Fanfictions. Is It Good?

[Feather Gem 967]

Its the beginning of a sequel to another of my fanfictions (uncompleted)

But you don't need to have read the first one to understand most of the sequel.

The sequel is just the same story, but told by the antagonist.

There's lots you'd miss out on without the sequel though.

So anyway, yes.  Wanna comment?  Don't forget to answer the poll!

 

 

She told me I could be anything.

            I suppose that is what started it all…

 

“Have you studied, Inno?”

            “Yes, mother.  I have studied.”

            “How long?”

            “Three hours, mother.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yes, mother.”

            “Good.  Study until ten and then go to bed.”

            “Yes, mother.”

            Mother nodded at me in the mirror.  She turned away and closed the door behind her.  I stared at the door in the mirror’s reflection until I heard the familiar sound of her pushing the key into the lock and locking the door.  I moved my eyes to look at myself in the mirror.

            I was small for my age.  I had a snow white coat and a short golden mane with a white horn poking through.  My eyes were sky blue.  I didn’t have a cutie mark yet.

            I removed my eyes from the mirror and turned the page of my book on astronomy.  I began to read the page when I heard a sharp scratch at the window.

            My head shot up.  I stared at the window until I heard the sound again, coming from a branch rubbing against the glass.  I quickly hopped off my chair and went over to the window sill.  I pushed the window open. The cold wind blew into my face.  I closed my eyes tightly in concentration.  I imagined the branch getting caught in a golden glow and snapping.

            Snap.

            I looked up as half the branch tumbled down below.  I leaned out the window to watch it fall to the ground.  Satisfied, I closed the window and pulled the curtains shut.

            I could have done better.

            I went to my bed and picked up the small, floppy, stuffed pony.  It looked just like me, except it had wings and a halo.  It was an angel pony.  I think that must mean I looked like an angel as well.  But I’m not sure, I think I look normal.  And I have no wings - just a horn.

            With a sudden spark of interest, I went over to my bookshelf and heaved down the heavy book about alicorns.  I stumbled over to my desk with the thick book and lifted it onto the open astronomy book.  I climbed onto the chair and opened up the page I had marked by folding over the corner of the page.  I hugged the doll to my chest and began to read.

            I heard a knock at the door.

            “Inno Sense.  It’s ten.  Go to bed.”

            I glanced at the time.  It was not ten.  It was only nine.  I kept silent, unsure.

            “Inno!”

            “Yes, mother…” I said.

            I got off my chair.

            “Stupid filly.  It is not ten yet.  It is only nine.  Can you not tell time?  This was a test.  How can you ever get into a good school if even telling time is difficult?!”

            “I can’t, mother.”

            “Good.  Go read the book on telling time again!”

            “Yes, mother.”

            I squeezed my angel to me tightly and went back to the book shelf.  I looked up at the top shelf where I put all the books I had already finished reading.  I cannot reach up there.  It’s too high up.  But I can see the book.

            I closed my eyes and imagined a warm, golden glow washing over the thin book on telling time.  I watched it float off the shelf and slowly come down to me.

            “Inno!”

            I opened my eyes and turned to the still closed door.  Suddenly, something fell onto my head and bounced to the floor.

            “Oof!”

            I rubbed my head.  I forgot to concentrate on my magic.  Mother had surprised me.

            “Inno Sense!”

            “Yes, mother?”

            “What time is it now?”

            I looked up at the clock.  “It is nine o’ six, mother.”

            “Stupid child.  Have you not read the book like I told you to?!”

            I hugged my angel tighter.  “Not yet, mother.”

            “What have you been doing?!”

            “Getting the book down, mother.”

            “Are you back-talking me?!”

            “No, mother.”

            “Go read the book!  It is only nine o’ five!  Not nine o’ six!  Read until ten and then go to bed!”

            “Yes, mother.”

            I went over to where the book was on the floor.  I sat down on the floor and opened the book to the first page.  I put my angel down next to me.

            “Would you like to know how to tell time?” I whispered.

            The blank, plastic, blue balls stared at me.

            “Come, I shall teach you,” I whispered, pointing at the first paragraph.  “Learning how to tell time is very simple,” I read.

 

“Are you sleeping, Inno?  It is ten.”

            “No, mother.”

            “And why not?!”

            “You woke me, mother.”

            “Are you back-talking me?!”

            “No, mother.”

            “First you back-talk and then you lie?!  This is unacceptable, Inno Sense!  Fine!  You must stay in your room!  No breakfast tomorrow!  The moment you wake up, you will take your books and sit in the corner of your room and study until I come and get you!”

            I pressed my angel against me.  “Yes, mother.”

            I got up and carried my angel to the corner of my room.  I lay down and closed my eyes.

            “Stupid, Inno,” I told myself.  “Do not be rude to mother.  You deserve to sit in the corner right now.”

            It was cold.

            “Stupid, Inno.  You deserve to be cold.”

            I was uncomfortable.

            “Stupid, Inno.  You deserve to be uncomfortable.”

            It was too dark.

            “Stupid, Inno.  You deserve to be afraid.”

            I cuddled my angel to me.

            “Stupid, Inno.  You deserve to be unhappy.”

 

I was hungry.  It is past lunch time.  Mother had not let me out of my room yet.  I had finished reading my book on alicorns and was half way through my book on astrology. 

            “Inno!”

            I jumped and grabbed my angel.  I turned to the door, shaking.

            “Yes, father.”

            “Come to the living room, right now!  Your mother and I must tell you something!”

            “Yes, father.”

            I got up and trotted towards the door.  I placed my hooves over the door knob and turned.  I pushed the door.  The door was still locked.  I pushed again.  I turned the knob the other way.  I shoved at the door.

            I can’t be late.  Father will be so mad at me.

            I glanced around the room, beginning to panic.  I then noticed the window.  I ran over and pushed the window open.  I looked out to the grass below.  It was a long way down.  With a deep breath, I bit down on my angel’s ear and put my hooves onto the window sill.  I looked at the tree from which I had broken the branch off of last night.

            I glanced at the ground one more time and leaped out the window, to the tree.  I flew towards it and grabbed a branch.  For a moment, I swung back and forth.  When I finally stopped I reached out a hoof to another branch further down.  I heard a soft cracking sound and looked up.

            The branch was cracking.  It was about to break off.  I quickly reached for another branch again.

            Crack.

            I was suddenly falling through the branches, their sharp ends cut through my skin.  I bit down harder on my angel so that I wouldn’t scream and let go of her.  I was going to fall onto the ground.

            I concentrated all my magic onto teleporting safely to the ground.

            Come on.  Come on!

            It’s not working!

            The branches were gone, replaced by air.  I slammed onto the ground, on my back.  Pain ran up my spine and to my teeth, causing me to cry out in pain and drop my angel.

            But I can’t be late.

            I quickly pushed myself up, ignoring the pain.  I grabbed my angel from the grass and ran up to the house.  I tried the front door, but it was locked.  I went around the kitchen window.  It was open.  I climbed inside and trotted to the living room.

            “Inno!”

            I looked at Father.  He looked really angry.  He smacked me in the head.  I hugged my angel tightly to my neck.

            “Why are you late?!  I called you fifteen minutes ago!”

            “I am sorry, father.  My bedroom door was locked, father.”

            “There she goes again!” Mother growled, coming towards us.  “Back-talking again!”

            Father hit me in the head again.  “Stupid filly!”

            “And look at her!  Covered in scratches and grass and leaves!  Inno!  What is wrong with you?!”

            “I am sorry, mother.  I am sorry, father.”

            I clutched my angel to me as Mother and Father went to sit on the couch.  They sat down and pointed at the floor in front of them.  I hurried over and sat down before them.  Mother tossed a scroll at my hooves.  I looked up at her.

            “Read it.”

            I quickly picked up the scroll and pulled the ribbon loose.  I unrolled it and read it.

            Princess Celestia’s School for Giften Unicorns?

            I rolled the scroll back up and tied the ribbon back around it.  I put the scroll down in front of me and looked up at Mother.  She didn’t say anything.  I realized that I was supposed to speak and opened my mouth.

            “What?!  You cannot read?!  Could you read it or not?!” Mother said first.

            “Yes, mother.”

            “We are sending you to this school.  You must take an entrance exam.  If you do not pass…” she trailed off and gave me a look.

            I understood.

            “You have a month to prepare.  Go now.   To your room.  Study.  Now.”

            “Yes, mother.  Thank you, mother.  Thank you, father.”

            I went up to my room with my angel.  I turned the knob of the door. 

            It was still locked.

 

I waited until I heard the door being locked.  Then, I smiled.

            “I’m going to go to a school!” I whispered loudly, happily.

            I took each of my angel’s front hooves in mine and spun around in a circle.  After I got dizzy, I flopped down onto the floor, squeezing my angel to me.

            “This will be so much fun!” I whispered.

            I smiled brightly at my angel and poked her nose.  I looked up and noticed my book shelf, full of books.  My smile faded and I rolled onto my stomach.  I crawled over to the book shelf.

            “If I pass the entrance exam…” I whispered, staring up at the tall book shelf.

 

For the next month, I studied non-stop.  I only stopped to eat, sleep, use the bathroom, and when Mother or Father called for me.

            The school had only recently opened up.  I would be in the first group of foals to take the entrance exam to enter the school.

            I studied mostly magic.  The scroll said that only the most powerful young unicorns will get into the school.

            I knew so many spells, but I didn’t feel prepared when the day came around.

            “Inno!  Inno!”

            “Yes, mother?”

            “Hurry up.  Pack your things.  We’re leaving now.”

            “Yes, mother.”

            I trotted over to my backpack.  I had already packed.  I had only packed my favorite books.  I had nothing else.  But I also had my angel.  But I would carry her.  I put my backpack on and picked up my angel with my magic, to practice.  I turned to the door and went over to it.  I turned the knob.  This time it was unlocked.

            I swung the door open and looked out.  For this month, my door hadn’t once been unlocked while I was in it.  I quickly cantered to the stairs.  I teleported myself down them and looked up at Mother and Father.

            “You rude filly!  Don’t you dare show off your magic to us!”

            “Yes, mother.”

            Father shoved me towards the door.

            “Hurry up, foal!”

            I trotted quickly to the door and went outside.  There was a small carriage waiting for us.  The two stallions at the front of it, looked over as I trotted out.  They smiled at me and I smiled back.  I went up to the carriage and began to climb into it, when I was lifted up and placed inside.  I looked over at my Father.

            “There you are, Inno,” he smiled.

            “Thank you, father,” I said, beaming brightly.

            I went further into the carriage and hopped onto the seat.  Mother and Father came into the carriage and sat down as well.  Mother picked me up from the seat and for a moment I thought she was going to throw me onto the floor, but she placed me onto her lap and stroked my mane.  I smiled up at her. 

            The carriage took of then.  The stallions cantered at a slightly faster than usual pace.  I looked out the window.  I felt a bit quiet at first.  But Mother and Father were being so nice to me, so I put my front hooves onto the window sill and poked my head out, letting the wind blow through my mane and watching the scenery we pass.

            When my front hooves began to ache, I removed them from the window sill and held my angel on the window sill so that she could see the scenery as well.

            “Ma’am.”

            I looked up to the front of the carriage.  One of the stallions was looking back as he walked.

            “Yes?” Mother said, looking over.

            “You would not mind if we stopped for a moment, would you?”

            “Not at all!” Mother smiled.

            “Sir?” the stallion said, turning to Father.

            “Go right ahead,” Father said.

            We continued on for a moment and then the carriage came to a stop.  The stallions walked off towards a small building.  I watched them go until I was hit in the head.

            “Ow!”
            “Stupid Inno!  Get off of your mother!  Disgusting child!”

            I quickly hopped off of Mother.  “Yes, father.”

            Mother brushed off her coat.  “Repulsive,” she muttered.

            “I am sorry, mother.”

            “You should be!  If you do not pass the entrance exam, then---“

            From the corner of my eye, I notice one of the stallions coming back towards the carriage.

            “---then you’ll just have to study a bit harder and try again next time,” she said gently.

            “She having nerves?” the stallion smiles, going back to his place at the front of the carriage.

            “Yes.  She’s terrified.”

            “Poor thing,” Father agrees.

            “Aw.  Don’t worry, little one,” the stallion smiles.  “There are always more opportunities.  You’ll be fine.  I’m sure you’ll pass.”

            “Yes, sir…” I said.

            The other stallion came and we were on our way again.  This time, I sat on the floor with my head lowered, unable to look out the window.  I hugged my angel tighter.  It was going to be a long ride to Canterlot.

[Sky Warden 2,243]

The only big issue I saw, is the tense switches. Other than that are the dialogue tags (I bet you can use better tags), missing paragraph spaces, and I think that indent in the beginning of the story is just a style. There's nothing wrong with it. Just rare to use.

 

About the story arc and character presentation, it's all good. You drew the filly perfectly, but you said she's the antagonist? I think she's more like the protagonist and what the bloody hay is that kind of parents?!

*ahem*

Sorry for the personal rant. Well, just fix the tense switches if you don't mind it. Look at my writing guide lines by the link on my signature for more information, or you can just simply say, a wall of junk.

 

Holy Celestia! I almost forgot to poll!

[Feather Gem 967]

The only big issue I saw, is the tense switches. Other than that are the dialogue tags (I bet you can use better tags), missing paragraph spaces, and I think that indent in the beginning of the story is just a style. There's nothing wrong with it. Just rare to use.

 

About the story arc and character presentation, it's all good. You drew the filly perfectly, but you said she's the antagonist? I think she's more like the protagonist and what the bloody hay is that kind of parents?!

 

*ahem*

Sorry for the personal rant. Well, just fix the tense switches if you don't mind it. Look at my writing guide lines by the link on my signature for more information, or you can just simply say, a wall of junk.

 

Holy Celestia! I almost forgot to poll!

Some pony actually read all that?

Yay!

 

Okay.  Thanks xD Sometimes I get confused with the tenses.  I didn't get confused before, but now I do.  I'll fix those.

Well, later in the story, she does become the antagonist.  Or at least in the first story she is.

Thanks again for wasting your time reading all that!

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Some pony actually read all that?

Yay!

 

Okay.  Thanks xD Sometimes I get confused with the tenses.  I didn't get confused before, but now I do.  I'll fix those.

Well, later in the story, she does become the antagonist.  Or at least in the first story she is.

Thanks again for wasting your time reading all that!

I understand if she will become the antagonist someday. Maybe she will meet somepony greater than her, and despite of her full-time study, she still can't be better than that somepony, no matter how hard she's studying. That pony has a better life than her and she becomes jealous. Better parents, etc and now a better skill. Just my opinion. Don't curse me!

 

Well, since you've wasted my life, now I force you to waste yours in that writing guide line part. Don't curse me for that as well. I'm not a pro, but I want to contribute a little to the fandom by writing that junk.

 

Why yes. I want to murder their soul. Pieces by pieces. They will make a good meridian system target for practicing. *put the cruelest and evilest laugh you can imagine here*

 

By the way, using tenses aren't hard, especially past tense. Just put -ed after everything and it will work.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Sky Warden

[Revolver Bobcat 45]

So far so good, the demon parents works well and the main caracter seems accostumed to this kind of behavior. No complains from me, the tense thingies i just don't notice since i kinda suck at writing and the english lenguage in general.

 

If anything you should stablish why the parents are so fucking cruel and why would they want their daughter to become some great wizard. Is not a complan, just something you should stablish later on.

 

GOOD LUCK!

[Feather Gem 967]

 

I understand if she will become the antagonist someday. Maybe she will meet somepony greater than her, and despite of her full-time study, she still can't be better than that somepony, no matter how hard she's studying. That pony has a better life than her and she becomes jealous. Better parents, etc and now a better skill. Just my opinion. Don't curse me!

 

Well, since you've wasted my life, now I force you to waste yours in that writing guide line part. Don't curse me for that as well. I'm not a pro, but I want to contribute a little to the fandom by writing that junk.

 

Why yes. I want to murder their soul. Pieces by pieces. They will make a good meridian system target for practicing. *put the cruelest and evilest laugh you can imagine here*

 

 

By the way, using tenses aren't hard, especially past tense. Just put -ed after everything and it will work.

Actually, after her lack of freedom with her parents and Celestia takes her in as her personal student, giving her more freedom, she gains an interest in the forbidden books of dark magic.

Then Celestia casts her away.

And thus, she gets upset and starts waiting, watching, to reek her revenge.

And then Twilight shows up.

 

Awh...fine.

 

NWAHAHAHA

 

I'll try D':

No but seriously, I'll do that xD

 

So far so good, the demon parents works well and the main caracter seems accostumed to this kind of behavior. No complains from me, the tense thingies i just don't notice since i kinda suck at writing and the english lenguage in general.

 

If anything you should stablish why the parents are so fucking cruel and why would they want their daughter to become some great wizard. Is not a complan, just something you should stablish later on.

 

GOOD LUCK!

Okie dokie lokie!

 

Well, her parents want her to study because...well it's something legal they can make her do.  xD And if she gets into a private school, they can be rid of her!

And why their cruel...don't know exactly why yet.

But there's an idea playing in my mind which I'm too lazy to type.

 

Thanks!

[Sky Warden 2,243]

@@Feather Gem.

 

I thought it was more complicated than this. Well, making a dark mistake and getting abandoned always works.

 

I still can't believe that this poor filly will become the antagonist. You! You cruel writer!

Here here filly. Come to the dark side with me. We have cookies and more importantly, we have Styrofoam!

 

Hmm. I just got an idea about a story this afternoon. It has some romantic stuff, tragedy, war, but well... *shrug*

[Feather Gem 967]

@@Feather Gem.

 

I thought it was more complicated than this. Well, making a dark mistake and getting abandoned always works.

 

I still can't believe that this poor filly will become the antagonist. You! You cruel writer!

 

Here here filly. Come to the dark side with me. We have cookies and more importantly, we have Styrofoam!

 

Hmm. I just got an idea about a story this afternoon. It has some romantic stuff, tragedy, war, but well... *shrug*

Did I mention she gets killed in the end?! -bright grin-

Oh she is going to have so much fun!

 

You sure do like 'em faces.

 

Fanfiction idea you say?

[Sky Warden 2,243]

@@Feather Gem.

 

What the--ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

 

You're indeed the cruelest story writer I've ever seen. Such innocent filly...oh Celestia...Inno Sense...heh...innocent...heh heh....that's kinda funny....WHAT HAVE I BECOME?

 

Well yes. Will contain love tragedy, death, betrayal, lie from the beloved one, 'not true me', etc. Hmm...I think I'm just as cruel as you in story writing.

[Feather Gem 967]

@@Feather Gem.

 

What the--ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

 

You're indeed the cruelest story writer I've ever seen. Such innocent filly...oh Celestia...Inno Sense...heh...innocent...heh heh....that's kinda funny....WHAT HAVE I BECOME?

 

Well yes. Will contain love tragedy, death, betrayal, lie from the beloved one, 'not true me', etc. Hmm...I think I'm just as cruel as you in story writing.

Sad endings are best endings.  Tragic stories are best stories.

 

And in the first story (this is the sequel), Pinkie Pie (well...not really Pinkie Pie...actually...its complicated and difficult to explain) commits suicide

Oh and in this sequel thing, Inno - who becomes Wicked Sin - murders Celestia!  How will I pull that off I wonder...

Oh wait I already know! xD

 

 

Oh dear God, what is wrong with my brain?

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Sad endings are best endings.  Tragic stories are best stories.

 

And in the first story (this is the sequel), Pinkie Pie (well...not really Pinkie Pie...actually...its complicated and difficult to explain) commits suicide

Oh and in this sequel thing, Inno - who becomes Wicked Sin - murders Celestia!  How will I pull that off I wonder...

Oh wait I already know! xD

 

These Wicked Sins - Dare To Play.jpg

 

Oh dear God, what is wrong with my brain?

Are you kidding? You better come with good explanation how she can kill an Alicorn or people will think it's OP. Personally I like the idea somepony defeat Celestia, but not sure how to do that without another Alicorn.

 

Yes yes. Sad story is the best story.

[Revolver Bobcat 45]

 

 

Are you kidding? You better come with good explanation how she can kill an Alicorn or people will think it's OP. Personally I like the idea somepony defeat Celestia, but not sure how to do that without another Alicorn.

 

Yes yes. Sad story is the best story.

 

 

Is not as dificult as you think: poison, a sneak attack, some pretty good elaborate trap or a conspiracy.

 

Not all conflicts have to end with a mexican stand off, just saying...

[Rainbow Recon 36]

I really loved this!! Please make more!! Inno seems ADORABLE! :3 I also love the description of everything...I...must....have...MORE!!

I am utterly stunned by how this is...and I love it! Please make more!! Your better off doing this! I just know that this is gonna be the all time second best before my little dashie! That's saying a lot!

[Scootalove 10,689]

A very interesting read! I really love that Inno is so adorable, that I just want to hug her. :3 What a very good beginning to a fan fiction, I say I want more.

FEED ME MORE!

[Sky Warden 2,243]

A very interesting read! I really love that Inno is so adorable, that I just want to hug her. :3 What a very good beginning to a fan fiction, I say I want more.

FEED ME MORE!

Have you known that Feather Gem is planning to make her the antagonist (the Wicked Sin) and she will murder Celestia? Adorability ruined in three...two...one.

 

@@Revolver Bobcat.

The picture literally shows she cut Celestias' horn. I don't think there's any poison which can do that.

[Solocitizen 9]

I've read a lot of fanfics about colorful equines, and as a professional writer I read a lot of non-fanfics as well. There are worse ways to start a fic, but the first line (really the first paragraph) are the most important by far. They need to hook the reader, serve as a kind of thesis, and start immersing the reader. All that said, my advice would be to omit the first two lines and start on the first line of dialogue.  Either that or revisit the first two to get more out of what already there. 

I hope that helps, and I'm looking forward to reading more!

[Revolver Bobcat 45]

 

 

Have you known that Feather Gem is planning to make her the antagonist (the Wicked Sin) and she will murder Celestia? Adorability ruined in three...two...one.

 

@@Revolver Bobcat.

The picture literally shows she cut Celestias' horn. I don't think there's any poison which can do that.

 

 

I just said that it is possible for a Non-Alicorn to murder celestia. It seems to be some kind of final battle in the picture, and it probably was just a stand off, but just for the sake of being a jerk i will say that she put some poison that weaked celestia... IN A SOLAR ECLIPSE... PLOTED BY LUNA!

 

'kay bye...

[Feather Gem 967]

 

 

Are you kidding? You better come with good explanation how she can kill an Alicorn or people will think it's OP. Personally I like the idea somepony defeat Celestia, but not sure how to do that without another Alicorn.

 

Yes yes. Sad story is the best story.

 

Wicked Sin is very smart.  ;D

SAD STORIES!

 

 

I really loved this!! Please make more!! Inno seems ADORABLE! :3 I also love the description of everything...I...must....have...MORE!!

I am utterly stunned by how this is...and I love it! Please make more!! Your better off doing this! I just know that this is gonna be the all time second best before my little dashie! That's saying a lot!

Oh my God.

I love you Cx

 

A very interesting read! I really love that Inno is so adorable, that I just want to hug her. :3 What a very good beginning to a fan fiction, I say I want more.

FEED ME MORE!

Inno is the best.  I adore her to bits.

 

 

I've read a lot of fanfics about colorful equines, and as a professional writer I read a lot of non-fanfics as well. There are worse ways to start a fic, but the first line (really the first paragraph) are the most important by far. They need to hook the reader, serve as a kind of thesis, and start immersing the reader. All that said, my advice would be to omit the first two lines and start on the first line of dialogue.  Either that or revisit the first two to get more out of what already there. 

I hope that helps, and I'm looking forward to reading more!

Okay.  I'll do that. 

Thank you!  I'll need a lot of help to do this.

(lucky my fathers a publisher author)

 

---

 

I love you people so much.

Seriously.

Edited March 14, 2013 by Feather Gem

[Sky Warden 2,243]

 

Thank you! I'll need a lot of help to do this. (lucky my fathers a publisher author)

 

Don't hesitate to ask me. Luckily, I'm an unpublished writer.

 

Well, I know a little much about writing. I think I will post some writing tips in my thread soon. I bet I've mentioned about hooking the reader at the first glance so many times there, but I will rewrite it to make it easier.

[Feather Gem 967]

Don't hesitate to ask me. Luckily, I'm an unpublished writer.

 

Well, I know a little much about writing. I think I will post some writing tips in my thread soon. I bet I've mentioned about hooking the reader at the first glance so many times there, but I will rewrite it to make it easier.

Okie dokie lokie xD

Since two told me about the first two lines, I suppose I'll edit it now.  I don't really want to get rid of it completely...so perhaps I'll do this:

 

She told me I could be anything.  Anything I wanted to be.  She told me that I was powerful, and magical, and full of so much potential.  She said that I would succeed in anything I did, if I tried.

Maybe I tried too hard.  Maybe that's how this all started.

If I can be anything, accept me for being this.  If I can be anything, accept me for being Wicked.

 

Actually, maybe not.

I wrote that in two minutes, its not really...that good.

I like the last line though Cx 

I think I'm too lazy at the moment.  Not a good time to be writing.

[Sky Warden 2,243]

@@Feather Gem.

 

I took this from my writing guide lines which is linked to my signature.

 

Fifth, start with a scene.

 

When you watch a movie which starts with a group of men running in a forest, wearing red-blood tunics and blood which drips from the edge of their weapon, what's in your mind? "Whoa. What happen? What's that blood? Are they fighting? Fighting what? Come on! Next scene!" Hook them right when they start reading.

 

That's just a snapshot. If you want more details, go check my thread. *evil laugh* Forced customers. Works all the time. Hmm. I think I need to put more details about it, but that post is very long already. Maybe I will post another writing tips about it tomorrow.

[Feather Gem 967]

@@Feather Gem.

 

I took this from my writing guide lines which is linked to my signature.

 

Fifth, start with a scene.

 

When you watch a movie which starts with a group of men running in a forest, wearing red-blood tunics and blood which drips from the edge of their weapon, what's in your mind? "Whoa. What happen? What's that blood? Are they fighting? Fighting what? Come on! Next scene!" Hook them right when they start reading.

 

That's just a snapshot. If you want more details, go check my thread. *evil laugh* Forced customers. Works all the time. Hmm. I think I need to put more details about it, but that post is very long already. Maybe I will post another writing tips about it tomorrow.

I said I'd read it, but I'm such a lazy bum that I still haven't.

I should read it.  I SHALL READ IT.  Tomorrow.  Cx

 

That's good though.  I think I shall do that. 

-pats head- You're a good little writer aren't you?

[Sky Warden 2,243]

@@Feather Gem.

 

 

Yes yes. Just make sure you read everything. Heck, do you think I'm that dilligent and gladly wrote that freaking wall of text?

I was lazy as well, but pay attention to my opening and ending in that post. You will understand.

 

I wrote that to contribute to the fandom, and since you're in the fandom, spare your time to respect my small effort. Ah yes, there's a quote :

 

"My offering isn't much, but my sincerity is absolute."

-Me.

[Rainbow Recon 36]

"Oh my God.I love you Cx

umm.... Okay... Kinda on the creepy side.... Why is inno beat up by her parents??? It saddens me. But, umm... INNO FOR BEST PONY--EVAH!!! Also, have fun making the rest! If you do...