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I... was a pony hater (but I'm hoping to turn that around)


{Mister}

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I used to hate on bronies, furries, scene kids.... and okatus (even though those guys still piss me off).

Just as of now, I'm starting to see that it was just a distaste for myself that was driving this hate. It was the fact that I was an awkward anime fanboy back in the day.
Furries and bronies always seem to have fun together, being in a community, creating stories and enjoy the company of those who they're with.


Truth is, I've been a heavy alcoholic for quite some time with no friends. I was never really invited to anything and most people just forgot about me. I was jealous of everyone else being able to have friends; and every time I found someone that would accept me, they usually left me behind after a few months.
I went to desperate measures in order to find someone, anyone, to recognize me: joining gangs, doing drugs, and drinking heavily.
I hated being left out. I tried to say that it didn't hurt me, but it did. A lot.
I hated anyone who had fun. I hated fun.

I hated anyone who wanted to express their self, being that I never had a reason to do it. I went from school to work to being drunk at home. My parents were/are extremely concerned and have asked me if I'm okay or if I need "help".

I've always thought that complaining about this was a weakness, that being alone was making me "tough". In truth it was making hardened and extremely insensitive toward the problems that others are facing.

I'm a huge jerk and I have difficulty letting go of grudges. The minute someone does something to piss me off, I turn into a monster and do everything in my power to get back at them; I usually get my way, and it's usually justified as well but it doesn't leave me satisfied.



I guess I'm coming here to be accepted. I want people to show me what it's like to have friends and not just someone you chat with when purchasing heroin every weekend. I'm sorry that I'm typing all of this, but there's a lot I need to get off my heart. A whole lot.

From what I hear you all are a crowd that accepts everyone, and I only hope I can be accepted too.

 

 

  • Brohoof 16
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Sweet Jesus what a story! Welcome to the forum! I hope you are getting help from somewhere with your problems because it sounds pretty bad. If you would like to talk with people then this is a great opportunity to do so. Please don't waste your time on the negatives and appreciate the good in life. 


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"You thought you were there to guide me but you were only in my way."

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Sweet Jesus what a story! Welcome to the forum! I hope you are getting help from somewhere with your problems because it sounds pretty bad. If you would like to talk with people then this is a great opportunity to do so. Please don't waste your time on the negatives and appreciate the good in life. 

 

I've considered getting help, but it just makes me uncomfortable thinking about talking about my problems to someone one-on-one. And I'm trying to focus on the positives, I really am, but depression and anxiety don't discriminate based on race, religion or ethnicity.

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Yeah I know and realize the hardship to talk with someone about it.  But do you honestly want to succumb  to the fear of not talking about the problem and hopefully fixing it or would you rather live your life how it is now. Think for a second. Are you satisfied with your life right now? Have you been everything in your power to make things right? You should take the next step in improving your life my friend.


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Signature made by me.


"You thought you were there to guide me but you were only in my way."

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(edited)

Don't worry pal, we certainly do open our arms to everyone. There are quite a few "was-a-hater" characters on here, so don't feel like you don't belong. This fandom has a giant variety of people, so you are promised to fit right in and maybe find someone with a story similar to yours. wink.png

 

I'm sorry that you've been through some rough times. I only hope that you feel more at peace during your stay. I hope to see you around! 

Edited by D1SC0RD

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(edited)

Yeah I know and realize the hardship to talk with someone about it.  But do you honestly want to succumb  to the fear of not talking about the problem and hopefully fixing it or would you rather live your life how it is now. Think for a second. Are you satisfied with your life right now? Have you been everything in your power to make things right? You should take the next step in improving your life my friend.

 

I just don't think that talking about it is going to make a whole lot of difference. I want things to change, really change.

I want be accepted, you know?

Don't worry pal, we certainly do open our arms to everyone. There are quite a few "was-a-hater" characters on here, so don't feel like you don't belong. This fandom has a giant variety of people, so you are promised to fit right in and maybe find someone with a story similar to yours. img-1579131-1-wink.png

 

I'm sorry that you've been through some rough times. I only hope that you feel more at peace during your stay. I hope to see you around! 

 

Thanks, I appreciate it. Maybe there is someone on here that's similar to me, who knows?

Edited by {Mister}
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I just don't think that talking about it is going to make a whole lot of difference. I want things to change, really change.

I want be accepted, you know?

 

Well I'd just like to say welcome to the forums, and you should have no trouble being accepted into the brony fanbase (we tend to be a pretty laid back and kind group). I hope to see you around on these forums!


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Depression, anxiety. I know the feel, been fighting with it for about a year now. Just now been getting better. It had started me smoking again. If i had anyway to get drunk, i would. Friends abandoned me, brothers locked up, abusive abusive stepparents, chitty house. there have been times in the last year i havnt slept or ate for days, a week at most. I have had a harder life then most, but it could be worse.

 

My real dad was an alcoholic, it is no way to live your life. he died a couple years ago, due to heart failure from drinking.

 

So if you ever want to talk about anything just pm me.

  • Brohoof 2

Im just one hell of a butler.

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Don't worry! We welcome you with open arms! Welcome to the forums.


Quote

Eureka's words of wisdom has inspired me, I should start listening to her more. ~DX Silver

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I use to be hater myself before I grabbed some time to check the show out. At first, I facepalmed to myself thinking "Why am I doing this with my life?" I have to agree with the whole otaku thing (except it's the obnoxious weeaboo's for me, it gets on my nerves seeing them spam "DESU KAWAII", and the fact that quite a few of them bash bronies quite consistently.)

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Yeah I know and realize the hardship to talk with someone about it.  But do you honestly want to succumb  to the fear of not talking about the problem and hopefully fixing it or would you rather live your life how it is now. Think for a second. Are you satisfied with your life right now? Have you been everything in your power to make things right? You should take the next step in improving your life my friend.

Bro im loving your little banner thing its so awesome

1.2.3.4.5.6

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"I used to be a hater like you, until I took a Magical Mystery Cure to the knee." 'Tis my new motto.

 

Welcome to the community. We bronies love and tolerate. A lot. Anyways,hope you meet some great people here!

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(edited)

You should also consider joining Alcoholics Anonymous and if you have a drug addiction there are programs out there too for you to get support from others. Even though it's hard to find someone who has the same problems as you do on the internet and in group therapy, its a common part for most of us to have bad coping mechanisms. I'd suggest doing in-person therapy because I feel that there a limit to how much support you can get from an internet community. When you're trying to change something that you've become dependent on, it is hard to deal with its absence. To make a change in life you sometimes need all the support you can get.

Edited by Lyrica
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No worrys were all friends here at the MLP  Forums, I hope you enjoy your time around here! If you need any help pm me okay?


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Wow! What a story man. Well, I'll tell you one thing, I might be a blank flank, but I can speak for the whole forum when I say, Welcome to the herd, welcome to the forum, and you've come to the right place for friends and to be accepted.

If you ever need to talk, PM me, its no problem, it might take me alittle while to get back to you, but I will get back to you. I can't say I know how you feel, but I can be someone you can talk to.

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As it bears repeating, I'll repeat it: welcome, and you've come to the right place to find acceptance and new friends. :) 

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one who can say that they have been in similar circumstances, I've never really had many friends, the one true friend I ever had died suddenly last year.  I was raised by an alcoholic, and have had issues with a substance or two myself.  So, my mailbox is always open if you need someone to talk to as well.

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Signature by the awesome Dopey Hooves!

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That's a lot to tell a bunch of random strangers on the internet. Thank you, it's great that there are people like you who trust other people enough to say all that.


All great ninjas have red hooves ph34r.png

and every great doctor wears a fez

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