sad Promise Me

[Feather Gem 965]

I've actually kept this a secret for weeks.

I don't quite know why.

 

But my first fanfiction is written!

Its about Fluttershy, Discord, and saying goodbye.

Its about grief, memories, and promises.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/116123/promise-me

 

Enjoy!    Please do comment on FiMFic as well as on here!

[Scootalove 10,684]

That hurt me in the feels!

 

That was a pretty moving story, it moved me so much that it made me ball up in tears. I really did like your story, it was a really nice story.

[~StatesTheOblivious~ 1,794]

 

Damn you... *sobs*

 

That was really touching. Good work.

 

But I wouldn't help you to improve, if I wouldn't tell you about a few things that bugged me.

 

 

 

- Sometimes, in the dialogues, I found it a bit tricky to figure out who exactly was talking. Okay, maybe that's because I never write dialogues in that way. You know, setences directly following each other.

- The alternate endings were a fun idea, but they someway destroyed the illusion... The bittersweet ending was already good enough.

- This is personal, but why are so many people considering Twilight to be necessarily immortal now? Hm, never got it... But I have to admit it helps in this story here.

 

 

[Sickman 205]

Ouch.

Horrible pain in the feels centre and tears running down my face.
Not exactly the greatest way to start off your morning, wouldn't you say? : /

Anyway, I really liked this one, especially towards the end, and I hope you'll write more.

[Feather Gem 965]

That hurt me in the feels!

 

That was a pretty moving story, it moved me so much that it made me ball up in tears. I really did like your story, it was a really nice story.

Thanks! xD It is WORKING!

NWAHAHAAHA!

 

 

 

Damn you... *sobs*

 

That was really touching. Good work.

 

But I wouldn't help you to improve, if I wouldn't tell you about a few things that bugged me.

 

 

 

- Sometimes, in the dialogues, I found it a bit tricky to figure out who exactly was talking. Okay, maybe that's because I never write dialogues in that way. You know, setences directly following each other.

- The alternate endings were a fun idea, but they someway destroyed the illusion... The bittersweet ending was already good enough.

- This is personal, but why are so many people considering Twilight to be necessarily immortal now? Hm, never got it... But I have to admit it helps in this story here.

 

 

I'm all for suggestions!

1. I sometimes do get quite lost in the story that I write it like that xD But sometimes, I like it like that for some reason.

2. I was wondering whether or not to add them.  I really like the original, but felt the other two needed to go known as possibilities.  I'm hoping some people have enough willpower to stop at the original.  (not that I would)

3. I just like to think that.  I just like the...sort of sadness of immortality.

Thank you!

 

Ouch.

Horrible pain in the feels centre and tears running down my face.

Not exactly the greatest way to start off your morning, wouldn't you say? : /

 

Anyway, I really liked this one, especially towards the end, and I hope you'll write more.

Its the perfect way to start a morning. 

Thank you!