writing Disillusion

[Ferret Girl 2,642]

I have become withdrawn

Battered by reality and beaten by the world

Held in place by desire, left rot for hate’s sake

With greed in my heart, I am here, and within I am dying

 

I have become weak

Left alone in the dark to cry out in terror

Fleeting pain through the fibers of my being

Scathing fire to tempt me into the demise which I yearn for

 

I have become what I fear

In my new world, where reality is shattered

In the pits of anxiety and misery which forge the fires

My heart grows heavy from these burdens

 

I yearn for release…

 

I contemplate the blade…

 

Watch as my river turns red, and allow myself to fall

Against all hope and love, my back is turned

Away I fly

Can you spare another glance at me?

 

I have become a hallucination

I walk through life unknowing of who I was, what I am

I go about the day unaware of the lurking eyes that follow me

For I am never alone, for I have my fractured self

Still alive in the smoldering arena of the furthest ravine in my mind

 

I contemplate all ends for what I am, and in doing so destroy the strands that hold me

No bonds to tie me and prevent this doing

No lies to deceive me as I break the barriers of my desire

And no other may know of this struggle for which I fight

No one will care for the fractured heart of a broken soul

 

-David Favret