Ask Lucifer Mellows (warning: in-character cursing)

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

(OOC: I made a story which I've put on the back burner that includes this character. I figure, since I won't be writing the story any time soon, I'd practice writing Lucifer in an Ask Pony thread. Lucifer is a 45 year old convict that is executed and winds up in Fluttershy's body. It's a time share thing. Lucifer is amoral as heck, will curse at you, and won't be friendly 99% of the time. I reccomend if you don't want to be offended, not to ask him anything at all. Please don't be offended by what he says, as he is a fictional character, no matter how real than you he may claim to be.)

 

 

 

Grr...okay. Fine. I'm doing this shit.

 

Apparently, I've gotta do this therapy thing where I answer a bunch of stupid questions from you guys. Dunno how the hell that's theraputic, but purple blurple thinks it's a good idea and the pigeon shit colored princess is backing her, so I ain't got much choice.

 

Let's try to stick to questions that I might reasonably give a shit about and away from stupid ones. I HATE stupid questions.

 

Understand the ground rules? Good. You better.

[Hastur 505]

*BloodWire appears behind you* *no emotion in voice* Hello, why are you so angry?

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

*Lucifer immidiately turns to swing a punch*

 

Fucking Hell!

 

Why am I so angry? What kind of goddamn question is that!? Don't you know how to approach someone!

 

Sneak up behind again you little shit stain! I'll stick my hoof up your ass and do a ventriloquist act!

[Hastur 505]

*hoof passes through me as if I were air* You shouldn't attack one who is leagues stronger than you. 

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

*hoof passes through me as if I were air* You shouldn't attack one who is leagues stronger than you. 

 

 

*blinks at hoof. pokes hoof through intangibility*

 

*grumbles*

 

Great. Another overpowered entity I can't hurt. Fucking unicorns are bad enough.

 

Fuck you!

 

*strikes a proud pose and taps chest*

 

Maybe you don't know this about me, but fighting suckers leagues stronger than me is my favorite past time. What's the worst that's gonna happen? I get beat up? I can live with that. Die? Already did that.

 

The hell you want with me anyways?

Edited April 8, 2014 by KelGrym

[Hastur 505]

*blinks at hoof. pokes hoof through intangibility*

 

*grumbles*

 

Great. Another overpowered entity I can't hurt. Fucking unicorns are bad enough.

 

Fuck you!

 

*strikes a proud pose and taps chest*

 

Maybe you don't know this about me, but fighting suckers leagues stronger than me is my favorite past time. What's the worst that's gonna happen? I get beat up? I can live with that. Die? Already did that.

 

The hell you want with me anyways?

If you wish to fight, then you can fight my enemy, Orion 

((OOC: Go to the ask thread...GOOOOOOOO to it....))

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Tch. Whatever. Fight your own battles, I ain't anyone's soldier.

 

(ooc: I'll check it out later. For now, however, since this is an "ask" thread, try just to stick to diaoluge with Luce.)

Edited April 8, 2014 by KelGrym

[Hastur 505]

Tch. Whatever. Fight your own battles, I ain't anyone's soldier.

 

(ooc: I'll check it out later. For now, however, since this is an "ask" thread, try just to stick to diaoluge with Luce.)

"I never said I wanted him dead. I still have thousands of plans for him" BloodWire says, "But if you do wish to fight me then go ahead" he says yawming with boredom

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Don't care what you plans for him are, and I never said anything about killing, either. For all I care, you can play backgammon on his liver, or let him fuck you in the ass while wearing a dress.

 

Ain't gonna waste my time passing hooves through you either. Fuck! You're more annoying than Discord!

Edited April 8, 2014 by KelGrym

[Hastur 505]

Don't care what you plans for him are, and I never said anything about killing, either. For all I care, you can play backgammon on his liver, or let him fuck you in the ass while wearing a dress.

 

Ain't gonna waste my time passing hooves through you either. Fuck! You're more annoying than Discord!

 

BloodWire turns off his  spell, "So you don't want to waste time, huh? Fine then," he says opening his jacket, show his chest that was covered in slashes, some were newer and some have clearly been there a long time, "You can take the first punch" he says as his blood red eyes look at Mellows, "Unless you're too scared to even try" 

Edited April 8, 2014 by Prince Kira

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Okay, that's it!

 

*cranks arm back to strike, but is stopped by a pink hoof*

 

*Pinkie appears placing her hooves between Lucifer and Bloodwire*

 

Make it stop! Make the violence stop! *begins to sob*

 

...Pinkie...what are you doing here...

 

*Pinkie perks up with a s*mile as if nothing was ever wrong*

 

Oh! Yeah, that's right! Twilight sent me to remind you that your forbidden from assaulting anyone, or else you go back to containment and to remind you that you're still in Fluttershy's body, and that if you injure it in any way that when she does figure out how to seperate her from you that Celestia will have you banished to the Sun forever and ever!

 

*Lucifer cocks an eyebrow at Pinkie an tries to process what she just said*

 

...what?

 

*Lucifer shifts his eyes between Bloodwire and Pinkie a couple of times*

 

But I can't just let this bitch get away with punking me like that!

 

*Pinkie's eye brow furrows and she glares at Lucifer*

 

No buts! It's not your body! No fighting means no fighting!

 

*Pinkie turns to Bloodwire*

 

And you! Shame on you! This is his therapy session, and this isn't even that kind of rp anyways!

 

*Lucifer blinks*

 

Rp? What?

 

*Pinkie turns back to Lucifer*

 

Nothing you need to worry about. My job here is finished. Byes!

 

*Pinkie rips hole in fourth wall and disappears*

 

...

 

*Lucifer just stands there confused*

 

(ooc: sorry. no dramatic fight scenes. Not that kind of rp)

Edited April 8, 2014 by KelGrym

[Hastur 505]

Okay, that's it!

 

*cranks arm back to strike, but is stopped by a pink hoof*

 

*Pinkie appears placing her hooves between Lucifer and Bloodwire*

 

Make it stop! Make the violence stop! *begins to sob*

 

...Pinkie...what are you doing here...

 

*Pinkie perks up with a s*mile as if nothing was ever wrong*

 

Oh! Yeah, that's right! Twilight sent me to remind you that your forbidden from assaulting anyone, or else you go back to containment and to remind you that you're still in Fluttershy's body, and that if you injure it in any way that when she does figure out how to seperate her from you that Celestia will have you banished to the Sun forever and ever!

 

*Lucifer cocks an eyebrow at Pinkie an tries to process what she just said*

 

...what?

 

*Lucifer shifts his eyes between Bloodwire and Pinkie a couple of times*

 

But I can't just let this bitch get away with punking me like that!

 

*Pinkie's eye brow furrows and she glares at Lucifer*

 

No buts! It's not your body! No fighting means no fighting!

 

*Pinkie turns to Bloodwire*

 

And you! Shame on you! This is his therapy session, and this isn't even that kind of rp anyways!

 

*Lucifer blinks*

 

Rp? What?

 

*Pinkie turns back to Lucifer*

 

Nothing you need to worry about. My job here is finished. Byes!

 

*Pinkie rips hole in fourth wall and disappears*

 

...

 

*Lucifer just stands there confused*

 

(ooc: sorry. no dramatic fight scenes. Not that kind of rp)

"..." BloodWire was confused beyond help, "What....the mother.....fuck"