Previously on My Little Pony...

 

Two-Lot Sprackle: "We're on the "precibulaijrshueriso/threshodldsldd/brink/thatsomethingreallybadisabouttohappen of disaster"

 

Princess Cel-Shade: "F**k you, b***h, you need to make some mother******' friends you loser 'lil cu**-as* mofo! F*****' go to Ponyville god damn you!"

 

Idiot Reviewer: "Kinky Sigh freaks out upon seeing purple ponies. She doesn't like purple ponies."

 

Kinky Die: "AW HELL NO! THEY'RE POPULATING TO OUR TOWN! APEJACK, GET THE SHOTGUNS!!!!"

 

Twarknot Sprinkle: "I don't drink."

 

Nightcare Noon: "The night...will last...FOREVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAhhaahahAHAHSUUHRAHUHEUSHAHHANWJASJUDJOASAKJJSKFldksfjhfdkoghfriudfjrehteuiwdjher."

 

Reviot Idiewer: "I wonder what 'This video contains content from Hasbro Studios LLC, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds' means?"

 

CUE TITLE SEQUENCE!

 

(La La La, My Little Pony, I used to wonder what the fuck friendship was)

 

Okay, so I learned what "This video contains content from Hasbro Studios LLC, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds" means. It means that Hasbro Studios LLC found a video containing its copyrighted content and blocked people from viewing it in a pirating fashion. Why didn't they just say that in the first place? Dumbasses.

 

Unfortunately, this means I can't do the review.

 

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Sorry 'bout that.

 

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Oh, shit, wait, I have Netflix.

 

Alright, so, again, this is a spoilers review, and if you haven't seen this episode, drown yourself in sorrow and misery. Turn away now if you don't want to know what happens in the totally ep1c conclusion of "Friendship is Magic," the pilot, not the series (unfortunately).

 

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Alright, let's kick ass!

 

So we open up with Nightmare Moon having her hair twist around like a tornado. Must've been a bad hair day. We'll have Mane-iac for those instances very soon, but I digress. Mayor Rare commands the guards to seize her in a manner that sounds like she's saying "Holy shit knows where the princess is!" Don't worry, she actually says "Only she knows where the princess is," but Cathy Wesluck can't speak.

 

I whip my hair back'n'forth I whip my hair back'n'forth

 

So the guards are useless as usual as Nightmare Coon escapes after a monologue of her plan last episode. Rainblow Bash looks distressed about the fact that there will be nighttime forever, but notices that Quarklight Smurfle is running away. Suspicious, Blowjob Hash and her acquaintances Chinky High, Tablehack, and Parroty along with her close friend Muttercry go to investigate the purple pony because crime rates are high among their kind, like I've mentioned.

 

She probably robbed a convenience store! Sic her!

 

Twighnight confesses that she learned all about the forced prophecy of last episode and knows that the Elephants of Harmony can stop her. However, she doesn't know how to get to the Elephants of Harmony. After hours of rejecting these ponies, she is convinced by them to let them help her win the crown, I mean, find the elephants. And so forth they venture to find the Castle of the Ancient Pony Royal Sisters Inc. located within the Everfree Network. Scary place, that one.

 

Watch out! There's awkward interviews about!

 

As they walk through the forest, we learn a little bit more about what was hinted in the previous scene. You see, there are six elephants of harmony, but only five are known. These five are rudeness, depression, selfishness, dishonesty, and betrayal. The shot strongly suggests that the yellow, orange, blue, white, and pink ponies are these elephants in disguise, but as I said, more answers are given. For instance, we now know that Arpegjack is the dishonest elephant. When Rainpaper Backwriter causes an rockslide and everyone is saved except for Apriljerk and Twisight, the former tells the purple one to let go, assuring her that she'd be fine. When she does, she hits the ground and explodes into blood. R.I.P Flyright Clockle.

 

We need to rid Equestriania of your scum. I mean, er, let go, you'll be fine.

 

After a new (purple) pony is born from her blood, named Twilight Sparkle (I think that's she has a better name than the other guy. What the hell is a Twarknot?), they encounter some creature called a Manticlorb. It roars and stuff and that scares the little pawns, but not worry! Because we still have Butterfly to save the day by telling the Manticlorb to fuck itself up its asshole, thus proving that she is in-fact the elephant of rudeness.

 

"Err, that haircut sucks, dude." "Shut up, I'm blocking your shot, bitch!"

 

After that, they enter a scary path where trees throw apples at you, which pissed off Applecrack. They were some scary trees, but Dinky Guy says that it's okay, because there are children starving in Africa. It then becomes clear that she is the elephant of tumblr depression as they continue to pelted with apples. When they encounter a river, they find that they cannot get across because there is a hungry serpent begging for food and somebody to love. Flarity proceeds to bite the serpent until he swims away, yelling to him that he's in her way. After that, they are able to make their way across the shallow water.

 

I could, you know, bite something else if you wanted....

 

After they make their way across the water, they are able to see the castle, but the bridge that they're supposed to cross is blocked. When Rainboob Marshall is asked to reconnect the bridge, she says no, because she is the elephant of betrayal. Strutterby had to do it instead. When they finally arrived at the castle, Banebow Flash came back because she forgot her wallet, but they are all soon interrupted by the presence of Night Macaroon. There, she reveals that she is responsible for all of the things that went wrong during their trip to through the Everfree Network, including the rockslide, that lion thing, the trees that throw apples, and the terrible questions provided by fans to the voice actors! While she taunts them with the notion that there is no hope, Twilight Sparkle realizes that the elephants of harmony she was so desperately searching for are right in front of her, which leads her to realize that she is in fact the sixth elephant, the elephant of science! Together, the six them form a Skittles commercial and kick the Nightmare Boon right out of Princess Lunar!

 

Avatar Aang with the Backstreet Boys

 

That's when Princess Cel-shade shows up to comfort her sister, and everyone makes up. They have a party in Ponyville for the now-enstated equal rights to purple ponies, and Twilight learns a valuable lesson. Friendship is an important thing, and her complete dick attitude toward the racists of this town was uncalled for. She stays in Ponyville in hopes to learn more about friendship, and so concludes the pilot that set up the series!

 

Whew! What an episode! All jokes aside, the character development in this episode surpasses many pilots that I've watched before. Not only is Twilight Sparkle just an incredibly interesting character in her own right, but her development from an anti-social hermit into a friendly and welcoming pony is an incredible transition both in this pilot and in the future episodes to come. And its the other five that make her complete. While we don't get a full taste of what the other five ponies are like right off the bat, we can identify with their on-the-surface personalities immediately, and that's enough for a series opener.

 

A couple of complaints, however, about this pilot include its rushed pacing (more in this episode than the last) and the clumsy Nightmare Moon backstory and resolution. I do have to agree with the latter, as Nightmare Moon wasn't really that well thought out. All of the events involving her breeze by too fast for you to comprehend, and I of all people couldn't fully explain this characters story if someone asked me, even after re-watching the pilot. Luna as a character on her own is much more interesting, but this wasn't the best introduction to her. While this does deal with the pacing of the episodes, it's only in regards to the villain, and though that's a big part of the story, another big part is everything else that goes on. The observations and development of Twilight, and the integration of getting the other characters together, are done really well. So, while there are slight pacing problems, it doesn't stick out like a sore thumb.

 

Overall, I do like part 2 a little bit more than part 1 despite the slight clumsiness, and as such I'll have to give this episode a 9/10, leaving the two-part pilot to a 8.5/10 average. This was a beautiful start to the series, but absolutely nothing to rave over. The best of the series is far yet to come. I'm eager to get to those episodes to especially remember what made My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic so great!

 

I'm sure we're gonna have to shovel through a bunch of bullshit to get there, though. I'm not the biggest defender of season one as some marvel of storytelling. What's the next episode?

 

 

 

Oh, lord...