I'm Reformed, Don't You Remember?
Entry posted by NavelColt
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As of two months from tomorrow, I'll have been on staff for two years x) Which is mind-boggling in a lot of ways. This forum has acted as my true introduction into the pony fandom, and served as my singular hub for all things pony and lack of any kind of life, for over a year. It's also acted as a means by which I've met many new friends, and further grew myself as a person, member and a person in a position of pronominal cosmic power. And, persona-wise, though I may not have been the optimal person for the job, I like to think I did a pretty good job.
*filler*
*filler lol we're like an anime right now filler filler filler*
*The Filler Strikes Back*
There we go :3
But now, as I giddily stare down 48 hours until I get to road trip with some brony friends from Maine down to BronyCon while surely blasting pony music the entire way, I've finally come to terms with myself that it's time to drop the badge and return to my roots. My interest in ponies, both show and fandom, hasn't waned a bit. Nor am I upset with anyone on or off the staff, or at any decisions that have been made about this, that or the other thing. I've simply been eating the same entree at the same fancy restaurant across the street that I've been going to for lunch for almost two years, and think it's about time to start staying home on my ass and ordering pizza.
I will not be known for modesty when I say, I've done so much shit for our home here, that it's not even funny x) My moderator action log in the CP outclasses all other staff, past and present (to this point in time), outside SCS, who flipped their lid and became the modern #NewCarSmellCD when they became a moderator and later admin. A lot more time and effort has been spent on things by me, especially during my first year here, than I probably should have given. But, I don't regret it. I've always loved being on, and sometimes staffing forums, and everything I did has had some kind of impact for what I hoped was the greater good.
But, the motivation and interest in being a staff member has run dry for me. The love of organizing content, topics and events for members to enjoy has slowly been outweighed by no longer wanting to deal with people's ceaseless drama, bullshit and inability to ever be pleased with anything (boy, that feels good <3), and the list of other woes that the average active staff member has to cope with on a daily basis. Unfortunately for me and my unruly work ethic and high activity, when it came to the point of being tired, the less I did, the more guilty I felt about retaining my position at all, and that's more or less how I've felt for a while now. Coming on and feeling guilty about not doing much compared to my former self, but not having the motivation or care to do anything about it. 'Burnout' is the cliche word for it, but it fits, I s'pose.
Originally, I planned to stay on staff until sometime after BronyCon, but in reality this was just a vague estimate. My true goal was to aid in bringing on a few more admins to the staff, and to help a few projects such as the Mod Applications to be brought to light. The people and tools now exist for the current team to expand themselves when needed, without my presence as a staff member, which is definitely something I'm happy about. Here's to hoping that the team can hire more ponies when it needs, and that the staff/member relationship can be brought to that perfect medium one of these days.
That's about it, I don't go into near the level of emotion and feels that some of my past brethren have. Dear god. (Love you Lumi <3). Which is also why this is a blog, and not a big, loud Canterlot topic broadcasting this to the entire forum's active population. Might seem a tad underwhelming too, from how much I've done as a staff member, but then again, this is also because I don't plan on leaving. This place still has some remnants of being an internet home for my pony fandom; I'm just ready to get rid of this girly pretty pretty princess badge. Maybe now I can convince Feld0 to let me use Best Badge as my own unique badge.
And so the reign of #DiscordAdmin came to an end.
While some were distraught, others breathed a sign of relief.
Surely that guy was never meant for this calling, anyway.
#36%TrueStory
For those going to BronyCon, I shall see you there. Mistakes from the past have been learned from. You want to touch the goatee, you pay five bucks.
For those who aren't cool and aren't going to BronyCon, I suppose I'll see you around the forums some more :3
For everyone else, do not cry for me. Just think of all the #ActualChaosThisTime that can happen, now.
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