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A Second Chance At Choosing Destiny?

Overdrive

Entry posted by Overdrive

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I pose this entry today, not as a rant or expression otherwise, but as something for all you loyal, dedicated, and loving readers to think about.

 

If you were given the opportunity, would you do your life over again? Would you take a second chance to choose your destiny?

 

I sit here today, at the young age of 19, reflecting over not only the soon-to-be-ending year, but every single year I've been on this earth, and to me, as time goes on I'd like it more and more to be able to do my life over again.

 

Now, this isn't a pity party for me, but I thought it would be helpful to explain a bit of my life to better help everyone understand why I posed this question in the first place. (This part is optional to read, you don't have to):

 

 

First off, I'm autistic, to be specific, I suffer from a diagnosis known as Aspberger's Syndrome, as well as a bit of ADHD. I was diagnosed as Type 1 Diabetic on Memorial Day, 2006. I've battled many other health issues as well, but most not as severe.

 

I've had to live through 2 tragic deaths of people very close to me: my father, Father's Day, 2009, after he decided to take his own life; my best friend, December 15, 2014, after a tough battle with cancer.

 

I was the victim of a brutal, ugly divorce between my parents. At one point I was diagnosed with chronic depression, but eventually that worked its way out of my system. I spent several stints in mental institutions out of my own safety.

 

I was always bullied throughout school, and for the longest time I had a hard time trusting people as a result.

 

 

I have a hard time trusting people. I often come off as "rough," "unapproachable," and from time to time, "unfinished," or a "monster."

 

I'm a hopeless romantic, trying to win the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I know I have no chance, coming off awkward, unsure and always having second thoughts.

 

It takes a lot for me to enjoy something, and have a good time. Even something that normally seems joking can be really offensive to me.

 

In essence, I hate the person I've become. I hate not being as receptive and open to people that I should be. I hate being intelligent, and knowing exactly what I want (because I use a business, no-nonsense approach. I never got to enjoy life, or how to enjoy it). If anything, I'd give it all up, to be more human, and to be happier.

But at the same time, I know there's a lot I'd miss in the life I have now. Yeah, I'm successful where I'm at now, I've managed to come out on the other side of every difficult situation each and every time, improved in one way or another, but I don't know if getting that second chance would really change anything.

 

So, I ask all of you again:

 

If you were given the opportunity, would you do your life over again? Would you take a second chance to choose your destiny?

 

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Wind Chaser

For me personally, I doubt it would be worth it.

 

I really wish I could understand your situation more. It's really sad to have gone through what you did, but from where you seem to be, you seem to be on your way to making a better life for yourself. You seem to have an advantage of knowing yourself much better than most others our age. It's best to move forward rather than think about what we could or should have done better in the past. You have a good future, and I wish you the best on that.

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The Crimson Cross

As much as it would be great to redo things over and again, the experience that we get from mistakes and wasted opportunities helps us learn how to cope with situations in the future. That's what I've found at least. ^_^

 

I really do admire your honesty here, and I see nothing wrong with wanting to control your destiny and having another go at life. There are plenty of things I regret. But in a way it makes us all unique

Personally, I try to focus more on the future than being restrained from my past. But it's a very difficult thing to do I've found.

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Blue The Pikachu

I've gone through some horrible shit. Parents divorce, mom abandoning me, father hates me, foster care because of reasons, etc. And would I do it over? Hell. No. These reasons are what make me who I am, not to mention the people who've come to know me and rely on me I wouldn't have met if those things didn't happen. Yeah, my past may have been rough, but I'm happy with my life and wouldn't want another chance at life.

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