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An MLP Adventure

GrimGrimoire

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I was actually going to post this in the thread about feeling weird for watching MLP, but decided it was too long and worked better here.

 

About a week ago I bought a MLP DVD set, however upon getting it home and opening it up, I noticed one of the discs was cracked (not the first time this has happened to me, I had the same problem with Avatar), so upon discovering this I headed back to the store to exchange it for a new copy. Well the store was Fry's, normally a pretty awesome store overall... with one minor exception.. their return booth. I dunno how it is in other Fry's, but here you walk up right in front of the store, and pretty much stand in the open while they scrutinize your return for even the slightest hint that it might indeed be an alien shapeshifter disguised as a product they carry and it is their job to catch it before it lays space pods and abducts us all.

 

So I hand them the case, and explain that one of the CDs inside was cracked and I would just like to exchange it for a new copy... however the gentleman assisting me only heard the words "Yes" and "I" and I imagine heard the rest as Charlie Brown teacher speak since he was staring at the cover as if it had just flirted with him and he could hardly believe it. He must have stood there for at least 5 seconds staring at the cover, before opening it and seeing the cracked CD inside, and then quickly shutting it again like it was filled with leprosy. He then asked me rather uncomfortably what I wanted to do with it despite me having already told him. I resisted the urge to tell him about my plans to get it drunk and hope for third base, and instead just informed him (again) I wanted a new copy. I kid you not, that if he had been wearing a top hat it would have completely popped off at this statement.

 

So he walked over to the table, laid it down and very hesitantly informed the other two associates that were there I wanted to return this particular DVD. I was unaware that returning a cracked DVD was cause for getting the swat team on the phone and cutting the Presidents golf game short.. but apparently they take this shit seriously. I was then asked if I would like someone to go get me the DVD or if I needed to do any other shopping? I honestly could not help myself... I told him I wanted the new DVD, and was curious if they had the soundtrack in stock and if they could recommend me any other amazing shows just like this one...

 

Now you have to understand, there are three basic facial expressions when it comes to disgust.... there is typical revulsion which all of us have done at some time or another, then there is nausea which makes you get that particular shade of green you only find on truck stop bathrooms behind the toilet... and then there is that face one can only make after walking in on your grandparents having sex in the light of day with no blankets on. Well, low and behold MLP merchandise makes that face to... who knew?? Not me, that's who.

 

Needless to say he had no answer for me... he just mumbled something about not having that sort of information available followed by what i assume was a prayer to whatever deity he worshiped. I was given a stub for my return and allowed to go on my way to do my shopping. I was very careful to watch for falling nets and pay attention to step over any mysterious spots on the floor which were obviously pit traps designed for just such an emergency.

 

I ended up getting a new copy of the DVD set as well as an anime I had been kicking around. I looked for the music CD, but no such luck. I went to check out and my cashier was a young teenage girl who made an aww with far too much vocalization on the w's. She then informed me she loved the show... and I replied i did to. I would have offered her a brohoof, but honestly I was just ready to get out of there by then, not to mention I was not entirely positive that they had not summoned the Avengers or the Justice League or somebody to deal with me at that point. You have to walk by the return table as you exit the store and I gave them such an awesome Cheshire cat grin, that I literally did think I had turned invisible, until the guard asked to see my receipt that is. I showed it to him, he looked in the bag and it was at this point I began wondering if being tasered hurt, and what was the proper gift to give your cell mate on the second date. But, he just smiled and handed me back both bag and receipt and allowed me to go. I like to tell myself he was a brony, so he totally understood.

 

So... MLP... not just a lifestyle.... but an adventure.



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Indeed, a humorous story written with a pleasant satire. However, so it too serves as a warning to those who would avoid such a situation.

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