Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Incoherence online.

Despite having extreme social anxiety irl, I've always prided myself on my powers of articulation, and that includes in cyberspace.  I do my best to communicate clearly, but everywhere I go online, people talk with such broken, fragmented slang that much of time I have no frigging clue what they're trying to say.  I'll just state for the record that I love slang, be it internet-specific abbreviations, or general slang, but I always make sure that my meaning is clear.  Here's an example of what I'm talkin' about.  This happened not two hours ago.

So, I play a lot of Waframe, and there is an event going on this weekend wherein the entire community as a whole has to reach a required number of enemy kills in order to unlock this special bonus thing later on.  These events happen from time to time, and they are typically 72 hours long, and it usually takes the whole 72 hours for the community to get the required kills.  It often comes right down to the wire.  This time, I logged in shortly after the event began to find that we had reached the 100% mark after just 16 hours in.  So, I jump in the region chat and I says to the community, I says, "Whoa!  I just logged in to do my part in the event.  How are we done already?!  The last even took the whole 72 hours!  Man, I didn't even get a piece of the action this time!  Lol."

So, that's what I said.  And then somebody responded.  And I know he was addressing me directly, because he used the "@" mention function with my name linked.  So, this is what he said.  Ready?  This is word for word exactly what he said:

"Sucks so suck."

...That's it.

...

WTF?!  Are you kidding me?!  What the f*ck does that mean?!

Am I some lame old fogey because I don't know what "sucks so suck" means?  Why can't people string a few coherent words together?

Alright, maybe he just meant that it sucks that I didn't get there in time to help out with the event.  (Which really doesn't make sense, because I didn't "miss out" on anything.  I just didn't have to help reach the 100% kill goal.)  I don't know.  That'd be a strange way of putting it.  Here's an even better example.  Warframe has a robust player trade market, and I do a lot of buying and selling on there.  I'll regularly see someone posting a "want-to-buy" ad for something I have, so I PM them, and I say, "I have that thing.  I'll let it go for [X amount of premium in-game currency].  Interested?" 

And then they'll reply by just saying, "Bruh."

Yeah, "bruh," that's it.  And then I'll say, "Is that a yes or a no?  Are you interested?  Hello?"  And they don't respond.  Only, "bruh."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????!!!!  DO YOU WANT TO BUY THE ITEM OR NOT???!!!!  SPEAK, YOU APE, DON'T JUST GRUNT AT ME!!!!

And it's not even any better irl.  Don't even get me started on in-person incoherence.  So many a time have I had to simply tell some stranger that I can't understand a word they're saying and just walk away, even though they're trying to ask me a question.  Why can't people talk?

It's in my nature to type things out in complete sentences, but I don't mind slang and shorthand if it makes sense.  Whatever you're trying to say, actually say it, Celestia dammit!  Don't just grunt at me when I'm asking you a question!