I'm Going Back To Work
I applied for another job. This is actually the first application I sent in since around January 2020. The reason I haven't sent in any applications since then is because I worked a job from February 2020 - June 2020. I haven't put in any job applications from June 2020 until now even though I've been unemployed since then because I've been feeling extremely depressed and discouraged. It's unfortunate, because I've had depression since around January 2018. I know the job I applied for is going to be tough, because anything is tough because of this depression that I've had for so long. If I don’t get the job, I’ll apply for more, but I’m hoping I’ll get the job. I applied for full time because I’m only taking one college class right now.
The problem is getting a job isn't going to help me get out of this depression. It isn’t going to change the fact that I don’t have enough motivation to complete college. It isn’t going to make me feel better. It isn’t going to help me find my purpose in life. Some may think getting a job is a step forward and will help me, but I think it doesn’t. The last job I worked made me feel really depressed and every job I’ve had I had end up leaving in one way or another. The only reason I’m getting a job is because my parents are running very low on money and I’m living with them.
Right now I hate life, but with a job I’m going to hate life even more. Getting a job is going to cause me so much stress and anxiety. It is going to cause me so much pain. And it’s not even worth it.
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