Funny story.

The reason why I am on the Internet today is because of fanfiction.net almost 9 years ago.

I was a fan of Teen Titans ever since its debut on Cartoon Network in the summer of 2003. I was about to go into my freshman year of high school, and after watching a preview of it on Cartoon Network before its debut, I knew that I would love the show because I loved the animation.

In 2004, desperate to fill my need of more Teen Titans material (back before I knew what headcanon was), I performed a Google search about the possible pasts of some of the characters. Pages and pages and pages of nothing interesting were glazed over, until finally... a fanfiction.net link appeared before my eyes. I was hooked.

I actually began writing Teen Titans fanfiction in 2004. The problem was this: I never finished anything that wasn't a one-shot.

I had several large ideas. Some of them I started. I even had 10 chapters going on one story. But I stopped.

The funny thing is that, to this day, YEARS later, people will STILL subscribe to that story! XD

But I am scared to read it because of how terrible I will think that it is. And then I will get embarrassed and tell myself that I'm no good.

This is frustrating because I actually graduated from college with a Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing. What the hell.

I'm such a perfectionist, and a lazy one at that. If I don't get something done right away, I won't post it. I will lose motivation to write about it, and then when the motivation comes back, I will read it over and think, "This sucks. Starting over." And then I start over and the cycle continues.

This is why I haven't even written a bloody book. I have had this awesome idea ever since 7th grade that I want published so badly. But dang. The idea is so huge. And then I start on chapter one, and it sucks. It sucks, it sucks, and it sucks.

My creative writing friend suggested to me that I just write and not worry about editing. That sounds like the best idea in the world. Except that I am afraid that if the first chapter sucks, then all of it would suck, and then I would have to overhaul the whole thing. There goes my life.

So I feel like in order to get over this funk, I should write MLP fanfiction.

I haven't written fanfiction in years. I don't even like reading it anymore. I have tried a few times, and it is just boring to me. I guess that I am not a fan of other people's headcanons.

If it isn't boring, it makes me mad at how inaccurately the author portrayed certain characters. Like this one time, I wanted to fill my headcanon with some Trixie past, so I read a short fanfiction about her life. And it sucked. The person wanted to portray Trixie as this broken soul, which is perfectly fine, except that the way that the author portrayed it didn't make any sense. Trixie's parents both passed away and Trixie was an awesome magician and so she wanted to be the best magician possible for her mom's sake. The premise itself isn't bad, it's just that the whole thing felt so melodramatic and it didn't make any sense as to why Trixie would go out of her way to be nasty to other ponies for her mom's sake.

Except... now I have developed my own headcanon because of this story. I didn't like the story, but the premise gave me some ideas that make sense for character development purposes. I would have to think about it more, though.

I guess maybe that's the problem. I think too much, but I don't write enough.

But in order to write well, I think that I do need to think about what I am writing, at least to some extent.

But here, see, I am writing this blog now, and it was the act of writing that got me thinking in the right direction.

But I write too much about writing. I write too much about what the plot should be, or what the diologue should be, or what the character development should be.

I need to take my own damn advice sometimes. "Just do it, Sally. Just do it."