Hey, me again

Well, this time I rant idiotically about happiness. What makes me happy? Few things nowadays actually. Before the most tragic thing in my life happened my wife was the thing that made me happy. When I was sad she cheered me up immensely.

Just by looking at her smile it cheered me up. Seeing her pearly teeth shine, I remember the dimples on her face too...I'll never forget how she smiled at me. I'll never forget her.

Now though, lets skip two years after my wife passed away and after the bad things I did. Nothing made me happy. I was void of emotions except for depression. Nothing could make me happy. I thought nothing would ever make me happy ever again. I moved to America in 2009 to help my brother with his Cancer.

After I found out about him I couldn't stay in Russia. No one else would help him and he needed someone. Last time I saw him was in 1997 just before he emigrated to the states. He is a good soul, a drunk partying maniac but a trustworthy older brother.

He learned about my wife when I moved there. He comforted me, and cheered me up a little. I was still devastated over losing my soulmate. I met my great friend Dan a little while after I was living in Alaska with my brother. I saved him from being shot and we became good friends. He really helped me become happy.

My brother, my friend Dan, MLP forums, guns, nature, memories of my wife, history, space, communism, and working out really are the things that make me happy now. One person really cheers me up though. Makes me the happiest I've been since 2006. My very, very good friend Эмма (Sparkity)

Эмма has really been a great friend. One of the greatest people I've talked to in my life. Very kind to me, understanding, and caring. He cares about me, and I really appreciate that. I've told him things I have never told anyone. Things I haven't told my brother even.

I love him very much and care about him very much. We might be almost complete opposites. We live in different places, but he is an amazing friend and my best friend and I'm honored to even know him.

Why did I say all this? To show that I'm not depressed anymore. I am still upset over many things in my life and things Ive done and I don't know if I'll ever get over it, but I am happy now.