MLP FORUMS, LISTEN!
Entry posted by ~Chaos~
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I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU, IT'S SO IMPORTANT, THAT IF YOU DO NOT READ IT, YOU'LL DIE A HORRIBLE SLOW PAINFUL DEATH, BUT BEFORE THAT DEATH YOU GET COOKIES...CHOCOLATE CHIP IN FACT, BUT THEN YOU DIE!
NOW, WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU WILL FOREVER LOCK INTO YOUR MIND, IT'S VERY DISTURBING, CRUEL, BRUTAL, COLD-BLOODED, AND UNETHICAL. I WARN YOU, FOR YOU WILL MOST LIKELY PERISH, NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU, NOT EVEN...FELD0.
I HAVE VENTURED LONG DISTANCES TO TELL YOU THIS, CROSSED MOUNTAINS, SWAM THROUGH THE ROUGHEST RIVERS, SCALED THE TALLEST CLIFFS, PUSHED THE HEAVIEST WHEELBARROWS, WALKED OVER THE HOTTEST COALS, ATE THE SHARPEST NAILS, RIPPED A PORTAL INTO EQUESTRIA, AND WHILE IN EQUESTRIA SCALED THEIR TALLEST MOUNTAINS, THEN RIPPED ANOTHER HOLE BACK, JOGGED THE LONGEST MILE, SPRINTED THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA, RODE THE FASTEST HORSE, CRAB-WALKED THROUGH THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD, AND PUNCHED THE SOFTEST KITTEN, ALL TO TELL YOU THIS ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING, I MUST TELL YOU...MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.
HARK! I HEAR DEATH CALLING MY NAME, FOR IF I DON'T TELL YOU THIS (AND I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH) VERY IMPORTANT THING, I WILL DIE, BUT ALAS, I DON'T THINK YOUR EYES ARE READY FOR WHAT WILL BE SAID HERE, NOT EVEN THE MANLIEST MAN COULD TAKE IT, BUT I'M SURE, YOU MEMBERS OF MLP FORUMS CAN TOUGH IT OUT, AND TAKE IT IN. I'M SO NERVOUS ABOUT THIS, I'M TREMBLING AS YOU READ THIS, MY PALMS ARE GETTING SWEATY, MY HEART IS SKIPPING BEATS, BUTTERFLIES ARE ATTACKING MY TUMMY, AND MOTHER OF GOD, MOLESTIA IS STANDING NEXT TO ME, COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE? I ASK YOU, THE FORUMS, TO READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, I THINK YOU'LL ALL BENEFIT FROM THIS, AS I KNOW I WILL BENEFIT FOR GETTING IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM, TRULY...I'LL BE SET FREE.
YES, SETTLE DOWN, YOU WILL GET COOKIES, BUT THE PRICE YOU PAY IS DEATH, OR TICKLES! BUT MOSTLY DEATH, SO WITHOUT FURTHER A DO, I GIVE YOU THIS OH SO IMPORTANT MESSAGE THAT I'VE BEENMEANING TO SAY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS BEAUTIFUL WALL OF CAPS-LOCK TEXT, AND I WILL SAY IT NOW...AFTER A QUICK TALE OF HOW I'VE WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO TELL ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, SO IT ALL BEGAN WHEN THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY TUMMY DIED, BECAUSE I TOLD THEM TOO, THE END. NOW, FINALLY THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, AFTER ALL THESE WHAT SEEMED LIKE YEARS, WRITING THIS, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THIS BLOG MAY BE TOO LONG, BUT FRANKLY, MY DEAR FORUM GOERS, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN, LET US ALL CELEBRATE IN THE ENDING OF THIS BLOG, AND HERE I WILL SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID, HERE WE GO, BUCKLE UP! THIS COULD GET MESSY.
SO, WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU, ALL YOU MEMBERS OF MLP FORUMS IS!...
Hi
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11
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