I'm not suicidal, and I've never had to deal with a loved one committing suicide. And I pray I never will.

They say that people with depression don't want to burden others with their problems. They often feel like they're hurting others enough already and they don't feel like they're worth it for anyone to waste their time with them. They just want to slip away so their suffering will end and other people can move on with their lives.

I'm afraid it doesn't work like that.

Love goes both ways. If you have a loved one, then that means they love you as much as you love them. When someone loses a loved one, they will grieve heavily. The loss of a loved one is one of the most horrible kinds of pain a person will have to endure: doubly so if the loved one becomes more and more miserable and ruined, refusing to seek help or to accept help because they don't want to burden anyone.

Ironically, it just magnifies the burden placed on loved ones.

My best friend has severe depression. He's attempted suicide at least once, and had serious suicidal fantasies at least twice.

He is also very dear to me. He brings me love, hope, happiness, and companionship. He's there for me when I'm lonely and I desperately need a friend. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember, and I am a better person for having him around.

Without him, I'd be devastated. I'd grieve for him harder than I would most other people. His death would kill me: a part of me will die with him. It'll be a horrible experience I don't even want to think about. I will grieve for him for years. And I will always be haunted by everything: what could I have done to save him? Why couldn't have I been strong enough to do something when he desperately needed help? Why didn't I try harder? Why did this have to happen?

And even if he dies a more natural way: illness, fire, car accident, the horror will always be there at the back of my mind: did he commit suicide? Did I miss the signs? Was there something I could've done to find out if he was in serious trouble? Why didn't I pay closer attention?

This self-blame and grief will be a crippling burden that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

My point is, depression gives you the erroneous delusion that it's better not to burden your loved ones with your problems. As someone who has loved ones with suicidal tendencies (my grandmother also struggles with depression), I can assure you with absolute sincerity that your death will be a far more crippling burden than anything you could possibly do to them while you're alive.

You do not have to fear that you're bothering anyone. And I speak from personal experience when I say that their greatest wish is to help you, and that the thought of you suffering and dying is the most burdening thing. Seeking their help, seeking anyone's help, letting them in and getting help dealing with your problems will go miles towards easing their burdens.

You are worth it. If your loved ones want to help you, let them in.