I am sorry to hear you are having these fuck up problems. I know it doesnt help, but i really like your pinatas. Maybe put em on DA or on some sort of local saleslist, for people to notice em, because they are awesome. Im sorry i cannot help, however much i wish i could.I really hope your shitstorm is going to sort itself out somehow.

Take care.

You know what thank you for taking the time to post. Thank you. As much as you think it doesn't help the encouragement does. It really does, so thank you.. What is this DA you speak of?

I have tried local to no avail... But I haven't heard of the DA

You know what thank you for taking the time to post. Thank you. As much as you think it doesn't help the encouragement does. It really does, so thank you.. What is this DA you speak of?

I have tried local to no avail... But I haven't heard of the DA

http://www.deviantart.com/

A place where you can showcase your arts / crafts.

Thank you <3 

I can not start blaming myslef for my possition if I have yet to exploit all of my options, thank you ^^^^ I appreciate this sooo much. I heard of this, been on it often but never set up an account. :S

Hey, I know life can be tough. I am not at all marginalizing your worries by saying this, but you're only 19 - you don't need to be feeling like you're having a midlife crisis. You have your whole life ahead of you, this is just the beginning. 
 
Firstly, you should stop telling yourself that you've failed, that you can't do it, and so on. None of that is true, and saying that to yourself will only make accomplishing your goals more difficult. 
 
Now, what is it that you love to do? Find a job that involves that in one way or another. If you don't have the necessary training, go to college, get an internship, start out with an entry-level job and work your way up, do what you need to do to get the necessary prerequisite knowledge to get the job you want. 
 
Even if you can't find a job that directly involves your passions in life, you should still try to find something that you can enjoy at least somewhat, and then explore your passions outside of work. 
 
I know getting a job is far easier said than done, but you can do it. Just believe in yourself and never, ever give up. Never give up on your hopes and dreams. Aim for the stars. But, always have a backup plan. You should come up with multiple courses of action that you would be happy with. 
 
Also, I think your pinatas are adorable. I love them, and I hope you keep making them I would buy one, but I won't be 18 until later this year so I don't think there's any way I can make online transactions using my own money. I'm pretty sure you have to be 18 to have a paypal account, for example. 
 
As for the if only's - don't dwell on those. The past is the past, you can't change that now. You should forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past, and just focus on what you can do right now in the present. It is essential to always love and accept yourself for who you are, while simultaneously maintaining awareness of your mistakes and a will to learn from them and grow as a person. 
 
Regarding your love life, there is no need to stress out about that. I know it can be stressful, but when you really think about it, what's the point in letting it become stressful? That defeats the whole purpose of a love life: happiness. Personally, I'm in no rush to find anyone. I hope I'll meet the right woman some day, and I'm pretty confident that I will. Even if you haven't met the right person for you yet, I'm sure that you will some day. The main point that I'm getting at about this is don't worry about it. Just be yourself, and you will meet someone who loves you for who you are.
 
You are not dumb at all - no one is.
 
About sex and drugs - these things are pleasurable, but both can be extremely destructive when used improperly. I'm not opposed to sex before marriage, but I do think that sex should only occur between consenting adults. Personally, I don't want to have sex with someone unless I truly love that person, but I know that not everyone takes that approach to sexuality. Regarding drugs, I honestly recommend staying away from those entirely. There are so many better ways to experience fun, pleasure, peace, and happiness without poisoning yourself with drugs.
 
It is essential to think about what success means to you. On the surface, the idea of being successful in life may bring to mind things like having a big house, a car, a fancy suit, and so on. In my opinion, this is not what success is. Life is not about the material things - it is about love, emotion, experience, and interaction with ourselves and others. The person who lives life with joy, with kindness and compassion toward others, with a thankful and peaceful spirit, lives an infinitely more successful and fulfilling life than a millionaire with a heart of stone. Of course, not all millionaires are that way - I am just giving an example. My point is that it does not matter how much money, material goods, status, and so on you do or do not have. It matters how much love you have given yourself and others in any form, whether it be friendship, family, romance, and so on. 
 
Lastly, just remember that things will get better. Life can be very difficult at times, but please do not allow the negative to overcome you. There is so much in life to be happy about - it can just be difficult to see at times. No matter what amount of darkness and pain you feel yourself in now, it is nothing more than a cloud obscuring your view of the light. In my personal experience, I have found that simply focusing on the positive, being optimistic, and maintaining a positive outlook on my life, life in general, and the world is a tremendous help in overcoming anger, fear, insecurity, uncertainty, and so on.
 
Sorry if this reply was a bit disorganized I did try to address almost everything in your blog post, though.
 
By the way, if you ever want to talk about what's bothering you, or just want to talk in general, you are welcome to send me a message. You can also add me on skype if you want - my username there is supremecommandersturm. I'll gladly help you out as best I can.

Woah thank you so much just read this. Made everything a little better thanks

really I'm glad you have got a job by now