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Thuja last won the day on January 31

Thuja had the most brohoofed content!

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About Thuja

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  • Birthday 08/05/1991

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    Transgender - FTM
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  1. I was having an early dinner/late lunch. Tried a new seasoning recipe for the potatoes! Well, not technically a recipe but trying a different flavour combo since I've completely run out of garlic powder. I have chili with some nooch sauce all topping some roasted potatoes. Pretty tasty!! Think the potatoes needed to be seasoned more next time but it was a tasty attempt at trying something a little different!!
  2. Went out to buy some olive oil and fruit, watered my garden and cut some parsley that I'll put in the freezer after cleaning it and drying it to use in a certain recipe for next month. I have my suspicions that someone has been stealing my tomatoes because one day a grouping on the vine was missing and when I came to check on it today, another grouping was missing on the same plant(I have four tomato plants). The plants have been growing tomatoes on them for at least three months but I haven't seen any red ones yet, which just amplifies my suspicions. I would've been able to harvest a few tomatoes by now from my previous experience with this particular type of tomato plant(I believe it's called Independence Day Tomatoes? or something...). I haven't really talked to the landlord about it since I know that's one of the things that is out of their hands as per the agreement I had to sign for the plot itself. I've noticed some tomatoes turning red, so hopefully I'll get something from them before I take the plants out of the ground. This year has definitely been a learning experience in general and I have a better grasp for what I need next year to have a hopefully better crop. The spinach I planted is doing well though, I think it's a little bit too hot for them right now but I'm hopeful that it'll cool down for them to grow next month. Anyways, haven't done much besides that since everything else is pretty much taken care of. Still need to clean dishes but beyond that I'm good for the weekend.
  3. I'm just thinking about how I should spend my money next month, trying to budget somewhat decently for next month.
  4. Besides green, black and grey, I've noticed I've been gravitating towards more earthy colours and purple too. Like, I really like orange and brown for some reason and I don't think I have enough of it in my wardrobe. I wanted to make a pumpkin orange and coffee brown sweater when I could afford the yarn. Maybe I've just been transitioning into an autumn mood lately idk but I just want more orange and brown in my closet lol. As for purple, I really like the deep purples. I want to try making a very large crochet blanket with this one particular royal purple, I just think it looks good. Could use for more purple in my wardrobe too, it's too neutral in my closet.
  5. I just love it when people don't turn while I'm crossing the road even though with the pace I'm walking, they could've turned, backed up and turned again.
  6. It really depends on what situation I'm going through, if I'm fine, I might dream about just chilling with someone from my past and talking to them. Normally I don't remember what's said in these dreams, mind you. But beyond that, I dream a lot about wandering. I'm one of those people who like to look at those dream interpretation sites when I have a random dream about something. Sometimes I relate to what's said but most of the time I just think, answering this properly simply requires more context to the dream itself.
  7. Non-profit Whoreganization ... I've literally been thinking about since I had my exam for some reason.
  8. Mmmm, seaweed salad and a cup of aloe juice...
  9. Hopefully getting another cup of soymilk, my future self will probably also take his pants off too, it's too warm to wear them right now.
  10. I did some cooking, tried a new recipe. Been going over the shopping lists I've made for next month(yes, I plan everything I'm going to make and buy well in advance, it's kinda weird but relaxing at the same time). Also had my first pelvic exam, I didn't feel as awkward as I thought I would. Well, at least there's nothing wrong with the opening area from what she could see which is good? I didn't think my feeling of wrongness was coming from there in the first place so... This exam just reminded me how much I don't like my "girl-bits", thought I properly took care of that feeling but I guess not...
  11. I made sesame seitan today! I basically made my seitan as usual and I took a sesame chicken sauce recipe and used it with seitan instead. It was really good and I'm mentally fighting myself from eating the rest of the leftovers right now lol... I had sesame seitan and rice for dinner, I'm really proud of myself!!
  12. Since most of my childhood is blocked from my memory for whatever reason, I'll just talk about my best friend from high school. She was a nice person and we kept in contact with each other over facebook when I moved away from where I lived in California at the time. Sometimes, I'd send her some snacks from where ever I was living that were only region bound, stuff she probably wasn't going to find where she was living. Though after I came out as trans, she unfriended me and hasn't spoken to me since, kinda sucks but she was slowly turning into someone I had hoped she wouldn't. I miss her sometimes and wonder what happened to her baby since she was worried about losing her kid to CPS since she didn't have the money to ensure her child a safe environment or something idk, I'm kinda fuzzy on the details right now.
  13. To add to this, I think I just overall miss there being joy around me. Like, laughter, happiness, I just miss love, could be platonic or romantic, whatever. I miss having connection with people, bonding over some sort of shared interest. Still, would be nice to have that formal education or a good job, I just want to do something I really enjoy but for now, I think I'll have to settle for some free courses because that's all I can afford for now. Some days, I want to be a tailor, others, a therapist. I just want to help people and make them feel comfortable in their own skin, whether it's from a good mind, or clothing made properly for their body. I just want to make people feel happy with themselves but there's so much I want to do professionally. idk, I think I'm just confusing myself more, maybe when I get to see my therapist again, I'll try to see if I could talk about this with him, get a different perspective on this?
  14. Here's my song of the day, hope you enjoy and are having a good day!!!



  15. Sometimes, I wish my mom would speak to me again.  I just wish I didn't have to move out if I wanted to be myself in the first place.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Treeglow Flicker

      Treeglow Flicker

      It was the same with my mother more or less. It could be like dealing with Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde when it came to her sometimes. We never shared the same world view, but she was still my mother and for all the bad, there was also the good. I always tried to take the good with the bad and although she flat out refused that I was transgender and told me to "snap out of it", it was always more disappointment than anger I felt in regards to her over the issue.

      Throughout the years after I told her and things returned to how they were, I kept everything about my intended transition secret from her and never brought the subject up again. I intended to bring the subject up with her again once I had my own space and was transitioning comfortably. I spent a lot of time trying to think of the best way to go about it and to make her understand so that she could still be a part of my life.

      However. I never got that chance. She died of cancer back in late 2018. On one hand, it saves me the pain and fear of hurting her about it all. But on the other, I wanted her to know and understand.


    3. Thuja


      I think for my mom, it's more from a place of anger.  Before I moved out of her place, she used to go on these rants about how trans people were ugly and how she was the victim and how much it hurt her to see me become ugly.  I say to that that I prefer being ugly, happy and alive over being miserable and pretty and probably mentally worse off.  When I came out, we had an argument but at that point, I had already moved out.  So instead she drove over to my nurse's office and dropped everything off that was remotely mine that she was hanging onto for me.  She even gave me back paintings I had made for her birthday a long time ago.

      She's a very stubborn person and saw my need for going to a therapist as a weakness, so she got especially angry at me when I suggested she talk to my therapist at the time to help her sort out her feelings.  Well she wouldn't go, she's not crazy and how dare I her confused daughter suggest she go to therapy?  Sometimes I hope that maybe she'd realize that her reaction was wrong but I figure she doesn't care anymore because she's not one to let go of a grudge easily.

      It's funny to think of that because of the values she holds priority over, dissuade that sort of behaviour.  Whenever I tried to talk to her about how our culture was accepting of two-spirit people, she would automatically say it's meant for something else and how I wasn't a leader in any regards.  She's a confusing person to talk to, to put it lightly.

    4. Treeglow Flicker

      Treeglow Flicker

      The things I would give to possess some kind of miracle mallet to bop some folks on the head just to make them see some sort of sense. I would have probably broken the thing through over use by now.