

inactive_user
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...But who do I turn to? How do I gain any kind of trust at all? Who DO I trust? How do I know if I make the correct decisions, or have made them with precision... (yes Paramore reference kinda, I know...) How long must I be engulfed in this testing ground of my courage, intention, volition, interpretation...... I...... JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! I don't know... Okay... I admitted it, alright? I don't know......
I just don't know......
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There's another reason I just...... I just don't know what to do...... No matter what I can't seem to do that...... Reobtaining of my composure seems virtually impossible... As only just when I am about to think I am rehabilitated from something... Along comes something to revert my worries and thoughts...... Maybe I'm just afraid to be "too" happy...... With anything...... Because I know the pattern... The second I become pleased with something..... Something bad happ...
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You have to trust in your own judgement skills, Nick. Sure you're probably gonna make mistakes, some of which aren't easy to cope with, but beating yourself up, panicking, and denying yourself peace of mind isn't going to help anything. Please, don't do this to yourself, it's unhealthy and it's only hurting you. *hugs* It's gonna be ok.