asdfmovienerd39
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Zen blinked a bit, then gave her head a quick shake. "My apologies, Null, I do tend to get caught up in the moment of things." Zen smiled and started to leave the room, but she still gave Null an apologetic look. ---------------------- "I sea what you did there." Deadpan laughed. "Sorry for the obvious joke, dude. I just had to take it."
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"The pies, mainly..." Deadpan explained, the hurt look on his face clearly giving away he heard Crystals facehoof. "Oh dear. He already has such an oddly low self esteem, yet he hides it with jokes and quips. Yet it seems he's a tad more...apparent when his jokes don't land as opposed to when everyone is laughing." Zen explained.
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"Alright. Got it. Let's get rolling with the autographs, then." he chuckled, levitating the pen and signing all of the papers, but with different puns. Of course he used the signature comic sans style writing he always used when signing autographs, and signed his name after every pun. ----------------------------- "I shall release him. But, if I hear any screams of pain, be it from her or him, I shall rush over to heal whoever it was that got hurt." Zen smiled, and let go of the male griffin.
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"ZEN! WE GOT A HAYBURGER ORDER" Deadpan shouted. Zen nodded and teleported into the kitchen, then came back a few minutes later with a hayburger. "The Hayburger is Zen's specialty. She's REALLY good at 'em, trust me." he smiled. "Deadpan, don't build them up like that. They aren't THAT great..." Zen smiled sheepishly, clearly not used to being the topic of a conversation, much less one of appraisal. "C'mon, don't beef yourself up about it, Zen, your burgers are amazing!" Deadpan grinned.
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"Y'know, I could give ya an autograph if ya want. Same with your sister. My job IS to make ponies smile, and I think I'd do just that givin' you two an autograph." Deadpan smiled. It wasn't a sarcastic smirk or a snarky grin, it was an actual genuine smile. Deadpan rarely gave out genuine well-meaning smiles. ----------------------------- "What in Equestria is he talking about?" Zen wondered aloud, quickly using her telekinesis to keep him from lashing out. "We are real, sir! And at the very least we promise you no harm!"
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"What makes it different is that it's actually good and worth eating. It's not some overprocessed dried out piece of garbage they pass off as food. Actual time and effort is put into makin' the food here. At least, that's what I heard from one of the critics after they tried some o' Zen's cooking. Despite getting four and a half stars, still nobody comes to this place though." Deadpan rambled, getting lost in the topic. This happened a lot.
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"Yeah, I'm Deadpan. I take it your sisters a fan, then? Which one o' my shows did she see? Baltimare? Fillydelphia? The one that almost got me kicked out of Canterlot?"{ Deadpan joked. Of course no show has gotten him even remotely close to getting kicked out, he was just messing with Sea Breeze, evident by the smirk on his face. ----------------------------------- "Oh my goodness! Sir! A-Are you alright?" Zen asked, levitating the newly conscious male griffin off the floor and looking over the wound.
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"Hmm..." Deadpan stroked his chin with his hoof, as if thinking. It took a few minutes, but he finally gave an answer. "Nah, I ain't gonna charge ya for more of a drink you've already ordered. So...free. Don't get carried away now, if you order something different that WILL affect your bill."
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"....Oh. Sorry. In all honesty, I'm probably a bit biased against it 'cause one of my four ex marefriends lives there and she's the only one that I caught cheating on me. So it's probably just bitterness from past relationships. That said, they could learn to loosen up a little. Not you though, you're actually pretty cool." Deadpool smiled sheepishly. "Plus you gotta admit their food sucks."
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"Name's Shrignhold Sparklestein Glitterfart the Third." Deapdan rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'm just messin' with ya my names Deadpan. Though it wouldn't surprise me if there was a character named that considering the stupid names Hasbro's came up with. I mean, Twilight Sparkle? Starlight Glimmer? Sunset Shimmer? Come on, they need t' give the thesaurus a rest for a bit." ----------------------- "Oh my goodness, he's recovering! Oh this is so exciting!" Zen grinned. She always loved helping others, or at the very least making an attempt to do so. So to see somepony do something so selfless it really made her happy.
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"Psh, that frou-frou fancy posh town full o' unicorns with their heads so far up their own flanks they walk like they haven't taken a crap in three weeks? Trust me, they're about as far from my kinda food as they can get." he rambled. Obviously he had a...disdain for Canterlot, putting it lightly. "Plus, it's way too expensive. I mean, who in their right mind would pay thousands of bits for a single block of cheese covered in orange goop with one garnish put on top? I sure wouldn't."
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"Well luckily for me my 'magic' isn't actually magic, it's just psychic energy. Although yes, the wound-mending remedy is magic, albeit modified to fit an Earth Pony like me." Zen smiled. ---------------------------------- "Yeeeeaahh, let's just go with that. I got you good, didn't I dude?" he laughed. He really needed to stop breaking the fourth wall in front of other ponies. Like, REALLY badly.
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ooc Equestrian Cafe [OOC]
asdfmovienerd39 replied to asdfmovienerd39's topic in Everfree Planning, OOC & Discussion
Ah, yeah. Sorry, I forgot about that. -
"Well this ain't Canterlot. The closest down is Ponyville." Deadpan explained with a grin on his face as he continued drinking some of his coffee. Truthfully he felt bad for not knowing what 'Shadow Spades' is, or was. Although that wasn't showing on his face.
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"....Would it offend you if I told you I never heard o' that before? What is that, some sort of Carmen Sandiago parody?" Deadpan asked, his voice sounding genuinely curious and not at all sarcastic in the slightest. He really had no idea what this 'Shadow Spade' series was.
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"Kid, I only use sarcasm when on Wednesdays, Fridays, and non-religious holidays." Deadpan chuckled. "Sarcasm's really only funny in small doses. And usually only works when you got an idiot to bounce off of. And you're about as far from an idiot as you can get. And yeah, we do." Deadpan grinned as he just put the coffee cup under the counter then lifted it up and handed it back to Crystal, the cup somehow getting full.
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"The whole joke itself is coffee beans. I thought you'd have picked up on that. And kid, I said you'd be good in showbiz. One of the most guaranteed ways to gain success in my business is to copy from someone ya hate. 'Course, I never did that. My jokes are all original." Deadpan explained. "You really enjoy cherry pie, huh? Can't say I blame you. It is rather tasty." Zen smiled as she teleported to the kitchen then back to Gordan a couple of minutes later with a water and another cherry pie.
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"I'm certainly not old but all that tourin' and stuff was doin' an number on my body. Plus not to mention it was taking away hours I could be spending with loved ones." he explained, then took a sip of his own coffee as well. "....Was the joke honestly THAT bad?" he asked.
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"Well, I suppose every grey cloud has a silver lining. I can now use my psychic abilities and help other ponies now!" Zen smiled. "It may be a payless job but one I'm the best suited for." Zen really did like helping people, even before....that attack. She would pitch in at local charities, do volunteer work for the stores and other departments, and sometimes even helped educate the teachers.
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"Nah, man, I'm good. I just have...extra-dimensional awareness, let's put it that way." Deadpan explained. "For example, you're bein' controlled by some guy on the internet that goes by the name Blitz Boom. None of our choices are our own, its our roleplayers.: -------------------------------------- "Well, Ms. Null, I am Zen Sunflower. I see you're missing your wing. I could help remedy that. Grandmaster Oakwood taught us all a way to heal wounds like that in order to help more." she answered.
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"My headmaster educated me in all sorts of things common ponies don't know about. Anti-magic being one of them." Zen explained, as if it was common knowledge. Which, to her, it was obviously. Everyone in the Monastery got educated on the same topics. ------------------------------------ "Oh, no, he's not a pony. He's sort of this...thing that controls my every thought, action, or word that comes out of my mouse. Same thing with Zen." Deadpan explained nonchalantly. "Ohhh right, you can't break the fourth wall. Sorry 'bout that."
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"Yes. They were something I was apparently born with, but I hadn't been able to use it until..." she paused, a frown very clearly evident on her face, "...until they attacked." Zen had hoped he caught on to what she said, as she didn't really feel like explaining her past yet again.
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"We are...currently about two miles west of Ponyville. Probably not the best place to open a restaurant, I'll admit." Zen laughed. "And I assure you, my telepathy is due to my psychic powers. "Nah, this is just me doin' somethin' quitter. 'Cause I'm retired from my original business, which was stand up comedy. I quit with it ever since...Nah, you probably don't wanna hear it."
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"I can sense your thoughts. And I'm sorry to disappoint but none of the Mane Six are around. Heck, this café is completely empty save for me, the owner, you, and Crystal." Zen explained. "Heh, shootin' down my joke only to use it yourself? You'd make it big in show biz, kid." he laughed. It helped cheer him up, though he was still clearly hurt from it.
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"O-Oh....nobody's ever actually said that before..." Deadpan muttered, looking genuinely sad and hurt by that insult against his jokes. He quickly shook his head and turned around, then started to clean the counter. He was oddly quiet, and he just seemed to be staring at nothing while he was cleaning.