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Ron Jeremy

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  1. Ron Jeremy
    Now, this is exactly what the title says: A rant. More specifically, a spur-of-the-moment one brought on by the fact I just spend the last hour removing god-awful excessive labels from cartridges. There is swearing ahead. Be warned.
     
    Why the fuck did people do this?! Was there no better way? I mean, sure, price stickers are reasonable BUT DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING PUT THEM OVER THE GAME'S ORIGINAL LABEL? It makes it NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE to get them off without damaging the label. I've seen many games damaged by sticker removal, either buying secondhand games where it's obvious a label was carelessly torn off at one point, or myself accidentally doing so, though I usually chalk that up to the sticker adhesive soaking through the original label, and the damage already having been done.
     
    What do people not understand about PUTTING WHATEVER STICKERS THEY FEEL THEY NEED TO SOMEWHERE OFF THE LABEL? It's easy. You just peel the sticker off the sheet AND DON'T PUT IT ON THE FUCKING LABEL! Is it really some mastermind feat to not put a sticker on the label?
     
    Even worse? When people ETCH THEIR NAME INTO A CARTRIDGE. Seriously, why do that? That'd be like if I bought a dog and CHAINSAWED ITS LICENSE NUMBER ON ITS BACK. A bit excessive an example, but it gets the point across. Who thinks to DAMAGE THEIR POSSESSIONS to mark that it belongs to them? Is there no better way? While they're at it, they might as well PISS ON IT to mark it with their scent. Or LIQUEFY IT in sulpheric acid to make sure nobody ever plays it again. Hell, RUN THAT SHIT THROUGH A BLENDER while you're DESTROYING IT. Do people never think "Hmm, this may end up sold at one point, and maybe they don't want it beat to shit"?
     
    I will never damage my possessions to mark them as my own for this very reason. I've had to clean up after this shit.
     
    If you read this rant, I appreciate the fact you took time out of your day to read the ravings of a game-collecting psychopath.
  3. Ron Jeremy
    I RELY HAT DA CHAR LIMIT N BEIN FORCD 2 RITE POSTS OVR 100 LETERS I MENE HAV U EVR COUNTD 2 1OO DATS A SHITLAOD OF LETERS I MENE I JUST WANT 2 PSOT "LOL DATS FUNY XD" AS MY POST N STUF ONLY NERDY LOSRS MAK LONG POST RELE MEN R 2 BUSY PALYN MANLY SPROTS
  4. Ron Jeremy
    This is a game I got a long time ago in a bundle, that I never played until recently. This is another one of those cases where I regret not touching it for so long because it's so good.
     
    It's a platformer. Your only action, other than activating computers/teleporters/etc. and talking to the other characters, is reversing gravity. You cannot jump. This makes getting through rooms interesting, because an obstacle you could just jump over in a different game requires you to think to get past it. The game is difficult in some parts, but the controls (arrows/WASD, space) feel natural, and tight. There is some momentum, but yet again, it feels natural.
     
    Game's puzzles require a fair amount of thought, and many of them timing, with moving enemies and platforms. You have checkpoints placed before and after every puzzle, and infinite lives. You will be thankful for these. There are 20 shiny trinkets you can obtain hidden throughout the map, and these will require more thought than ordinary progression. The hardest one's room names actually taunt you. "Your Bitter Tears...Delicious" indeed. But the difficulty never reaches IWTBTG-level frustration. When you lose, you feel like it's your fault, that you messed up. It doesn't pull cheap moves on you, and with infinite lives and checkpoints, you do not have to constantly replay a part just to try a hard part again. However, if you choose to try to beat the whole game without a single death... I wish you luck.
     
    The game features a simple, pleasing-to-the-eye Atari/Commodore/other-machine-from-the-era art style, that works really well for it. Its soundtrack consist of
    . 
    So, what do I say? I definitely suggest buying this one. Normal cost is $5 on Steam, you support the indie scene, get a good amount of gameplay in the main mode, and you also have other modes such as time trial and flipped mode that extend the gameplay. I regret putting off playing this one as long as I did.
  5. Ron Jeremy

    MY OPINON ON DA STUF

    By Ron Jeremy,

    IDK LOL ITS A FAD OR SUMTIN SO IM POSTIN MY OPINOIN
     
    WEL IDK MY OPINON ON CHESE IS DAT CHEDER ISNT DAT GUD BUT DAT CHESE DATS WIHTE WIT DA HOLS IN IT IS RELY GUD STUF N STUF LIK TAHT U NO
  6. Ron Jeremy
    ITS TRU I SAW TAHT TEHRS SUM TING ABOT APLEJAK GOIN ON SO I SED DIS BECUS OF DAT N STUF
     
    LOL REMEBER WEN I WUS A HATUR N I PUNCHD TAHT GRIL HO WAS GIVIN OT SAMPLS OF DAT APLEJAKS CERAL TAHT WUS FUNY LOL
  7. Ron Jeremy
    SO LIK UM U THOT I WUS DED OR SUMTIN DIDNT U WEL IM NOT DED LOL
     
    SO UM PPL POSTIN DRAMA PRON ENTRIS IS A FAD OR SUMTIN SO IM DOIN IT 2 WICH IS WAT DA TITL SED
     
    SO LIK UM IDK WTF 2 SAY LOL WEL I TINK DAT DA GOVRNMENT SHOD GO AWAY BECUS NOBODY IS A BRONEI N DA GOVRNMENT SO I WANT IT GON SO DAT A NEW BRONEY GOVRNMNET CAN HAPEN N WED HAV APLES 4 MONEY OR SUMTIN N WE WOD FLAY A HATUR EVERRY DAY UNDER DA NAM OF LOV N TOLRANS
  8. Ron Jeremy
    So, for the first time in a while, I bought some more games. And a controller.
     
    Blaster Master: Blasting Again: I've heard from several sources that this is a pretty bad game. However, at a couple bucks, what do I have to lose? Great shape. I've yet to get around to playing Blaster Master on the NES.
     
    Donkey Kong: I finally re-bought this game. I used to have it years ago, but I lost it in a move. Looking forward to playing this again. Kind of a precursor to the Mario Vs. Donkey Kong series. Of course I'm gonna be playing it on the Game Boy Player, with the enhancements and stuff.
     
    Ys III: Wanderers from Ys: Really happy to have added this to my collection. Sure, I've got Oath in Felghana, but I'm interested in playing this, since it's the black-sheep side-scroller of the series.
     
    Zoop: Yes, Zoop. I always knew there was a game called Zoop, coincidentally sharing its name with our Zoop. I admit, I bought this because it was cheap, and to make Zoop jokes. :3
     
    Wii Classic Controller: Bought this because I didn't have a second one, and I want to be able to play the multi-player games in Kirby's Dream Collection without one player having to use the sideways Wii remote setup. Already have a Pro one, but I wanted a non-Pro one for my collection anyways.
  9. Ron Jeremy
    Alright, I know this is a bit belated, but meh. Laziness and other things.
     
    So, a while back, I bought Kirby's Dream Collection for the Wii. If you read my blog, you know that already. So, I've been playing through the games, and currently I'm in the middle of Super Star (just beat Great Cave Offensive with 39/60 treasures, probably gonna go 60/60 eventually).
     
    First thing you notice when you fire the game up and watch the intro video is the polish, even in the menus themselves. Nothing feels half-assed or anything. When you look through the gallery, you can read descriptions of the various Kirby games, watch short clips of them, and read bits of trivia, even things that aren't related to the Kirby franchise. There's all sorts of stuff to do without even launching one of the games.
     
    Then, the game itself comes with an art book and a soundtrack CD, which contains select tracks from games in the series. And it all comes in a nice-looking package for all you collectors out there.
     
    The games themselves are, of course, amazing. You've got Kirby's Dream Land 1, 2 and 3, Kirby's Adventure, Super Star, and Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. I'll keep the descriptions of each one brief, because, being in the same series, many of the mechanics are shared across the games.
     
    Kirby's Dream Land. The Game Boy classic. Copy abilities don't exist yet, and the game's rather short, but it's still fun. Honestly, if you're like me and have played it before and still want the non-extra game to be challenging, hold Down, Select and B on the title screen and lower your max health to 2 or 3. As for the Extra mode, well, to this day I still get my flank handed to me by Kracko. That pattern of his...
     
    Kirby's Adventure The game that brought us copy abilities. In color, it's much prettier to look at. Copy abilities keep the game interesting, and there are plenty of secrets to find. I've actually beaten the extra mode, and while you don't get an epic fanfare or anything, it's still satisfying to do so. Half health, and you have to do it in one go. The sound test feature you unlock is nice.
     
    Kirby's Dream Land 2. Animal friends! Defeating minibosses gives you one of three animal friends: Rick, the hamster, Coo, the owl, and Kine, the fish. Rick runs faster and won't slip on ice, but cannot fly. Coo flies against currents and lets you inhale enemies while flying. Kine allows you to swim against currents and allows you to inhale enemies while swimming. Copy abilities function differently depending on which companion you have, if you have one. Completing this game 100% is pretty tough, because some of the Rainbow Drops are hard to get because they require you to get a certain animal-ability combination to a certain place. That, and the true final boss is pretty difficult unless you know the trick to defeating his forms.
     
    Kirby Super Star is a collection of mini-games, ranging from a remake-ish of the first game in the series, to a race against Dedede, to games with a bit of length and complexity to them like Great Cave Offensive, which has you searching a massive, Metroidvania-style labyrinth searching for treasures.
     
    Kirby's Dream Land 3. I haven't even played it yet, so I haven't anything to say about it.
     
    Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. This one, I had new back in the day, and I still have my cartridge after all these years. A great game, with a large assortment of copy abilities thanks to the ability to combine two abilities to make a new one. (Example: Combining Electricity with Ice to create a refrigerator that shoots food). There's a bit to do in this game, especially when it comes to finding all the titular crystal shards, many of which require certain combinations of abilities to get.
     
    In closing, I'd have to say that if you have a Wii, get this game. If I had to complain about something, it would be the lack of Kirby & The Amazing Mirror, though part of me can see why they excluded it, as the game's multiplayer might have been difficult to implement. I have a copy of the actual cartridge still, at least.
  11. Ron Jeremy
    For whoever reads it, I'm gonna start a little section of this here blog where I ramble on about games I've played recently. They really won't be "reviews" per se, but rather just bits of info I feel like talking about, like my feelings on the game, whether it's worth buying and playing, etc. With that said...
     
    The Ys series is one that I, sadly, have only recently gotten into. I heard about it, but never got around to trying it. Then one day I did, and realized I was missing out on the best RPGs I have played. It dethroned Dragon Quest, though I still keep Dragon Quest on a pedestal for turn-based RPGs, and Ys on a pedestal for action RPGs. Still, I like Ys better.
     
    Which is why I'm gonna say, if you can buy any of the games, do so. While Ys I and II are hard to get hold of for a PC gamer (you'll have to turn to fan translations and such), there's a PSP version, and I believe Ys I and II are on the Wii's Virtual Console as well. However, Ys: The Oath in Felghana (Ys III remake), as well as Ys Origin (prequel to I and II) are much easier to get. They're on Steam, and well worth the cost (Oath in Felghana is 14.99$ while Origin is 19.99$) if you ask me. You get a lot of game for your money, and if you can't play I and II, you shouldn't feel alienated, really, since, while there is a continuity, you won't feel like like you haven't got a clue what the heck's going on because of how the story is. If you buy them, though, be prepared for some epic ARPG action, with fittingly epic boss battles.
     
    Now, with that out of the way, I'll go onto talking about the game this entry is title is named after. I picked up the PS2 version of AoN a while back, for a reasonable price, but I put off playing the game for a while. However, recently I picked it up, and the first thing I noticed is that the controls were really good. Once I got into the game and unlocked more functions, I realized that the controls felt right. It's hard to talk about controls because the only way to know if a game controls right is to play it firsthand. Might seem like an odd thing for me to mention, but for any games, especially ones of this genre, the control has to be good, or the greatest game can be a POS. This game gets controls right. There is a certain kind of jump, however, that gave me a hard time. Essentially, you let go of the control pad/stick, and with proper timing, slash, then jump, which flings you a wide distance. This is necessary in some spots. It didn't give me major problems, but it was annoying because I had a hard time pulling it off right. Don't know if it's a control problem, or just me failing to grasp a simple concept. Either way, it doesn't drag the game down.
     
    Mechanics are typical Ys fare. Slashing is there (obviously), jumping's there, the works. Magic is in the form of three swords you obtain, that you cycle through with L1 and R1. You've got wind, in the form of a spinning cyclone that you can use to ram through enemies, dealing many hits. You've got fire, in the form of a line of fire that deals heavy damage, the heaviest of all the magic. Then, you've got electricity, in the form of a bolt of electricity that arcs from enemy to enemy. Great for some bosses, this is the one you'll probably use most when you're running around on the field, because you can take out groups of weaker enemies with it effortlessly.
     
    The music. Well, it's Falcom, so of course it's amazing.
     


     
    The bosses. Well, I'll admit, the bosses seemed kinda... weak when compared to the other games in the series I've played. I've only touched normal difficulty for AoN, but even then, I can say without a doubt they were less of a challenge to me then the previous games' bosses. Seems like, once I figured out what to do when fighting each boss, many of them went down quickly. Even the final boss. Maybe I overleveled, I dunno. Either way, the boss fights are still really fun, and they were still challenging enough to be entertaining and hold my attention.
     
    Art's great, story's good. Don't want to elaborate more because I'm trying to keep this fairly spoiler-free. Is the game worth getting? Yes. While the main story of this game may be rather short (can't remember specifically how much time I spent playing it, but it's no Blue Dragon, that's for sure), the game's got a lot of meat to it, in the form of sidequests, levels, upgrades, and people to talk to. All dialogue has voice acting, and while a couple voices may make you cringe, most of them are pretty good. You'll spend quite a few hours exploring, killing enemies, bosses, talking with characters, furthering the story, there's just a lot of stuff to do. Definitely a good game to add to your PS2 library. If you like action RPGs, hunt this game down. You will not regret it.
  12. Ron Jeremy
    Beyond this point lie the sentimental rantings of a crazed gamer. Some very minor poilers, as well. Be warned.
     
    Tales of Symphonia.
     
    I first bought the game new, at... Gamestop I think it was, many years ago, 200....5, I think. I played the game, and enjoyed it immensely, but, well, I was young, and kind of an immature dumbass back then, I admit and I didn't understand much of the plot. I got to a certain point, I think it was the Toize valley mines, and got stuck at the wall boss. I was underleveled and such. My motivation to play the game was killed, and it got shelved. For many years.
     
    Fast-forward to 2012. I was dusting off one of my video game shelves, when I see Tales of Symphonia. Now, I'd thought back to wanting to beat the game several times, but never got around to it. Always had something taking up my time, didn't want to get involved in a plot-heavy RPG at the moment. But this time, I decided I could finish it. I mean, I'm 20 now, I'm an adult. So, I started the game, and started a new save.
     
    The whole game... seemed different as an adult. I understood the game better, the plot, the mechanics. I started playing, and loved the game. I had to finish it. So I kept playing, and finally, at around 12:40 AM, September 15, 2012, I finally beat it.
     
    The story... as an adult, I understand it. I mean, sure, I could have finished it back then had I had the patience, but I'm happy I finished it as an adult. Being more mature, I was able to enjoy the game more, and it just... felt better. I mean, now, it feels like a chapter of my childhood that had been interrupted has finally ended.
     
    Now, I know may sound like I'm taking this way too seriously, but honestly, I don't think I am. I'm going to look at this philosophically. Finishing this game that frustrated me as a child has shown me that as a person, I've come far. I always bash myself for being stupid all the time, but... I did something I couldn't do years ago. That means I've at least gotten smarter, right?
  13. Ron Jeremy
    First off, since this one's not too great, go ahead and
    to make it seem more epic. 
    Got this in a bunch of stuff at garage sales. Was with stuff I intend to sell for profit. This is the stuff (except for the remote and controller, more on that in a sec) that either doesn't have manuals, or is pretty much valueless. I mean, because I totally wanted a copy of some shovelware Jungle Book game as well as a Madden sports game, and Madagascar, right? Mario Kart DD is nice, though. Meh, the PS2 demo disc is kind of an oddity.
     
    However, the PS2 wireless controller and the remote are both pretty kickass. Also included with the stuff I didn't picture is a Gamecube, N64, controllers for both, some Gamecube games without cases, memory cards and misc. stuff.
     
    The games I intend to sell really don't interest me and I'd rather have the money I can probably get for them. Various GTA games, (don't want to play those scuzzy games though they aren't exactly shovelware, in the usual sense, since they are designed well and stuff, but still, games that have you beating whores aren't my thing) games I already had, and misc. movie/tv license games, that, with the PS2 and stuff that came with it, I can possibly get what I paid for everything back. Twice.
     
    And here's where I trail off into a lecture. Garage sales. Thrift stores. Raid them. As a collector of video games, you know the value of things, and the seller frequently doesn't at these places. This can go two ways. The seller can either be overcharging, or undercharging.
     
    The latter is preferable, obviously and sometimes you can find good, even amazing deals. Sometimes, you will see see a bunch of games/console stuff/etc. in a box and only want one or two things from it. And they won't let you buy only the things you want from it. Sometimes, you can counter this, by buying the box anyway if it's cheap. Either you can just keep it in your collection kinda indifferently, or you can sell it, depending on if it's something that actually has value. You can sometimes actually turn a profit off the unwanted things if they are cheap enough. Sure, you can't exactly go around to garage sales buying up games to make a living, but it can at least be a reasonable way to counter the money spent on your collection sometimes.
     
    Obvious advice, but meh.
  14. Ron Jeremy
    First off: If you have not played Tales of Symphonia, and are worried about it being spoiled, then don't read this.
     
    So, lately, I've been playing Tales of Symphonia. I HAD started it many years ago, but I hit a part some time after hitting Tethe'alla that annoyed me to the point I quit. Recently, I started a new save and have been playing the game again. I hit to the part where you get Presea, heard her voice, and was like "Wait... is that voice... I have to look it up." and I did. And yes, Tara Strong voices Presea. From that moment forward, I have decided that she must be in my party every moment that it is possible. I mean, an axe-wielding loli girl voiced by the voice of best pony? What's not to love? Behold, a masterpiece from the god of image manipulation!
     

  15. Ron Jeremy
    Got some more games recently, but didn't post them until today because I didn't feel like it.
     
    A Boy and his Blob, Blaster Master and Little Nemo the Dream Master on the NES. How I didn't have those yet, I haven't got a clue. I still want to clean them up a little more, but the main thing is I got those price stickers off. I swear, those rectangular price stickers with the slots that make them so they rip unless you pull them off very slowly at an odd angle were invented by a sadist.
     
    And Tetrisphere on the N64. Got this one because I remembered seeing it in Nintendo Power many years ago (lolol I'm old) and thinking it looked good. And it was cheap, so I bought it, and surprisingly, it's actually really, really good. I was expecting it to feel like the average Tetris variant (just classic Tetris with a gimmick) but it actually barely has anything to do with the classic Tetris.
     
    Pretty much, there's a sphere of pieces, and the goal is to place a piece on or next to a piece that has at least one piece of the same type adjacent to it to clear them. When you get pieces off the sphere, you get room to slide pieces around so you can line up combos and such. The goal is to expose enough of the core to release a robot inside it. And there are multiple game modes. And to top it off, it has a great soundtrack. I have to say, if you have a Nintendo 64 and like this kind of game, pick it up if you can get it for ~5$.
     
    Oh, and this may seem like a minor detail, but it doesn't use the control stick. I say this because, for this time of game, that's a very good thing. To be blunt, the Nintendo 64 controller's stick is, well, primitive, and while it works for games like Banjo-Kazooie just fine, trying to control a puzzle game where placing a piece wrong gives you a penalty would be downright frustrating.
  16. Ron Jeremy
    So, I went to a video game store not too far from where I live, that I heard about. The second I walked in the door, I was like "I'm dreaming, right?". This place was just LOADED with games, and the prices reasonable. Needless to say, I saw some games that I'd been looking for, the prices were good, and I bought some. [Rainbow Dash "OhmygoshohmygoshohmyGOSH" clip here]
     

     
    Karnov, Quattro Sports, blacklabel Pinball, Ys: The Ark of Napishtim, Oddworld Stranger's Wrath and Oddysee, and Sonic Spinball. All totaling less than 40 bucks, with Ark of Napishtim being the most expensive. [Obnoxious image macro of a kid fistpumping here]
  17. Ron Jeremy
    Took these earlier. Yes, I know they look like crap.
     

     
    General games, some PC games, my Wii games, some DVDs, then Gamecube, Xbox/360, PS2/1, as well as the Game Boy Player disc. Margarine tub above all that has GBA games and cartridge-slot stuff like an E-reader and Action Replay and stuff. Below that is DS games, GB/C games, and some of my boxes. Below that, my N64 games. Contemplating taking those labels on the sides off, but they kinda have a itsy-bitsy amount of sentimental value. some of them have end-labels on them. Contemplating doing that for all of them.
     

     
    SNES games. Don't have anything rare like Earthbound or anything, sadly. D:
     

     
    NES, Genesis, Sega Master System (just Columns, LOL), 32x and Atari games. For the NES, I've got a few uncommon third-party games. Some of those godawful Wisdom Tree games, for example. Three different varieties of Game Genie. And that bag on top of the first row of NES games contains a box-thingy with my MLP trading cards.
     

     
    Even though you can't see much, I'm including this picture just for scope. These are consoles, controllers-cords, and a tub of extra games. Ignore the stuff you can see coming out from the edges of the doors of the closet. Had some blankets and some old stuff stuff neatly stacked but enough trains went by that it toppled against the door. <_<
     
    So yeah. That's most of my stuff for ya. I've also got consoles, obviously. Maybe if I feel up to it sometime I'll get a picture of those up. I've also got a tub full of manuals, some NES and SNES game boxes, and other stuff. Remember, much of this stuff is stuff that I got, and was gotten for me at garage sales, most of it back when people didn't go all OMG I'M SELLING IT AT THIS BATPOOP INSANE PRICE BECAUSE I LOOKED IT UP ON EBAY. But that's a rant for another time.
  20. Ron Jeremy
    You know, they say if you hook this to your USB port, it can run Skyrim at the highest settings, even if it's just a toaster with a USB port glued to it.
     
    Pretty much, I was looking through my GBA stuff and realized not only how many lock-on things exist for it, but the fact they can all fit onto each other.
     
    Oh, and if you take off the USB thingy (for a GBA flashcart I don't have. Got it free lol) you can hook it to your GBA and play Skyrim on it.
     

     
    Bask in the glory of my terrible photomanipulating skills.
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