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Ron Jeremy

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Blog Entries posted by Ron Jeremy

  2. Ron Jeremy
    I LIK DA PONEY SHO BUT I USD 2 HAT IT SO U CAN CAL ME PONESLAYR BECUS I M A A PONEY HO SLASE N STUF SO PLS FOLOW MY BLOG N C MY COMIX N STUF LIK TAHT ILL WIL RABMLE ABOT MY LIF N STUF SO PLS FOLOW DA BOLG
  3. Ron Jeremy
    Usually when on the rare occasions I update this dumb blog, it's either a wall of text about a subject, or egotistical bragging about things I've acquired for my gaming collection. Not today, however. Today, I'm going to recommend a game I played recently. And that game is Treasure Adventure Game, a freeware indie game you can nab right now if you want to.
     
    Treasure Adventure Game is, well, exactly what the title says. But to elaborate, it's an open-world side-scrolling platformer with an emphasis on exploring and discovering things. Not going to spoil anything, but the gist of it is, you're a kid with a hook hand exploring the islands of the game's world in search of the 12 legendary treasures the game's plot is centered around. Along the way, you find tools such as the shovel and the magic bottle (which is used in many of the game's puzzles, and, depending on what you put in it, sprays water, spews fire, and other stuff). For what this game is, it's immense in depth. Finding the maps, finding the treasures, talking to NPCs, digging, diving, stumbling on things you didn't expect to, it's got a lot to it. Not to mention that its pixel art style looks great and suits it well, and its music is excellent and has a few tracks that'll definitely stick with you long after you've completed the game.
     
    It threw me off guard a bit, too. When I learned the story centers around finding 12 artifacts, I immediately thought "So, there's gonna be 12 temples, each one with a piece of equipment in it, a boss to fight, and one of the artifacts" like all games that have you collecting all the legendary/sacred/whatever [x] are. I was surprised because where these artifacts are is varied, and some of them aren't even guarded by a boss at all, but they're challenging to get in another way.
     
    The game does have a few minor flaws I noticed when playing it. One being that there's the occasional minor movement-related bug here and there. The most noticeable one I found was that if you push your boat up against an object on the water just right, its graphics will flicker between their normal size and 2x-ish larger sometimes. However, I didn't notice any major, game-breaking issues, so I wouldn't consider what bugs there are to be bad enough to drag the experience down.
     
    I first heard of the game from the free indie game bundle site, and figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. More people need to play this game, seriously.
     
    Humorously, if the game wasn't freeware I'd be worried I look like a spambot, praising it and linking to it like I am.
  4. Ron Jeremy

    A PONESLAYR Christmas

    By Ron Jeremy,

    so lik um uh its da CRISTMAS n stuf lik dat so i figurd u wantd a CRISMANS SPECAL so here u go n stuf lik taht u no
     
    so lik um uh dere wus a guy named PONE E. SLAYR n stuf n he wantd a iphone 54 n he wus askin his dady 4 da ifone n his dady went 2 da store n got him a difrent brand of celpone n PONESLAYR got mad bcuz it wusnt wut he wantd so he complaned 2 his dady bcus he wus abusin him n stuf 4 not givin him da fone he wantd n stuf n told his dady dat da rele spirit of cristsam is corprat grede n stuf n his dady fliped out n shit lik dat so PONESLAYR went on da fecebook in threten ti SLIt HIS RIST so his dady wud buy him da rele ipone but his dadey refused n PONESLAYR slited his wirst n dis al hapened monts ago n shit so dats y u havent sene any comix from him n stuf lik dat
  5. Ron Jeremy
    Polish. An important thing in games. But how does one actually define it? I found myself having this problem earlier.
     
    I mean, polish is a thing. It is variable. There is no single definition of "polish" when it comes to gaming.
     
    So, I find myself stumbling over words to define it. Polish is an important thing to gaming. It can make the difference between a game being "just good" and a fantastic, memorable experience. It manifests itself in many ways. Some games polish comes from its visual style, from the smoothness of various mechanics, to dialogue.
     
    Take for example a game like Kirby's Dream Land 3. While a great game on its own, the fact it is such a polished experience makes it so memorable. The little things. The first thing you get hit with is its amazing art style. Then, the other little things add up, from slight touches to the scenery such as butterflies, intricate attention to animation detail, this game alone is a brilliant example of polish, so I may reference it again for that further on.
     
    A game can still be good while being "rough". Examples of this include The Legend of Zelda on the NES. While a rough-around-the-edges game, it is a good game. It has what it needs to have, and never really goes beyond. It's a bare-bones experience, though it stands the test of time.
     
    Polish is not just a superfluous thing. Polish can be applied to things that effect gameplay drastically. Smooth, polished jumping controls, that go beyond the norm, the satisfying feel of a weapon colliding with an enemy, etc. An example is Castlevania. Its jumping works, but nobody can deny how unpolished it is. Compare it to a game with much tighter controls, like Super Meat Boy, which goes above and beyond when it comes its controls. Take a game with stiff weapon controls like The Legend of Zelda. Your sword works, but it can be awkward to use. Compare it to A Link to the Past, which has much more polished sword combat.
     
    Many times older games can have a more polished experience than newer games. A perfect example is DOOM, one of the granddaddies of FPSes. Though an ancient game (by today's standards), despite the game lacking vertical aiming and true jumping, it feels like a more polished experience than many modern FPSes. Its limitations are worked around by small intricacies to deliver a polished gaming experience built around the fact you cannot jump. It doesn't try to be something it cannot. It has atmospheric polish as well, with its eerie satanic scenery and sounds.
     
    One could argue that modern games tend to lack polish because being more technically capable lets developers fall on shoving pretty graphics in our faces instead of focusing on what matters, but I do not believe this to be the case the entirety of the time. Sure, many developers are guilty of this, but there are also many who are not. An example would be Xenoblade Chronicles on the Wii. Breathtaking scenery, combat that feels natural, and everything seems to have had intricate detail put into making it great. All-around a well-polished game.
     
    In conclusion, if I had to define polish in gaming, I would be forced to say that polish is: Anything in a game that exceeds expectations, does not feel bare. Not an entirely necessary thing, but its addition and refinement enriches the experience greatly, and feels natural.
  6. Ron Jeremy
    The Binding of Isaac.... where do I begin? There's so much to say about this game. To start with, I'm going to put a bit of a disclaimer. This game has been called "blasphemous" by certain publications, etc., due to its nature. If this offends you, please back out. I'm simply talking about the game.
     
    This game is a roguelike with Zelda-like elements that become obvious within seconds of first playing it. Having randomized room layouts, map layouts, enemies, items, etc. etc., you can sink many hours into this game before you get bored with it.
     
    The game features grotesque imagery and "cutesy" imagery, and I think it works well for it. Its art style is unique, and it keeps the game from looking bland. The scenery, though it doesn't have Xenoblade Chronicles-level beauty, is far from ugly, unless it's trying to be. You do see the same things again and again though, but that's a genre issue, and not an issue with the game specifically.
     
    Soundtrack accompanies the setting and imagery well. Composed by Danny Baranowsky, who did the music for Super Meat Boy as well. Memorable, and if you own the soundtrack, you'll definitely be listening to it well after you've stopped playing the game. I suck at wording the reasons I like certain pieces of music, but I like this game's music because, well, it's passive at the right times, and fast-paced at the right times.
     
    Gameplay difficulty fluctuates. Generally, the game is pretty difficult, but not impossible. Occasional cheap deaths can ensue, with certain room layout, enemy spawn and item combinations. Most of the time, when you die, you feel like it's your fault though, which is a good thing. Sometimes, the game can become insanely easy to the point of it becoming boring, when you happen to obtain one of the freak item combinations that makes you practically invincible, or get a combination that makes you 1shot any non-boss enemy. This doesn't happen often, though.
     
    So yeah, lots of variety here. I would definitely suggest this game. I got it a long time ago, and to this day I still fire it up sometimes. With additional endings, the game playing different every time due to level layouts and items, multiple characters with different playstyles, a (cheap) DLC that adds more variables to the random factors (new items, enemies, endings, floor types, etc.), you'll definitely get your money's worth out of this game.
  7. Ron Jeremy
    So, lately, I've been playing that game that happens to share its name with Zoop of MLPforums. And, well, I've got stuff to say about it.
     
    The games work like this: You have a square in the middle of the screen, and a colored arrow in that square, on a grid. You control this arrow. Stacks of colored pieces come from all four directions, and you fire yourself at same-colored pieces to clear them. When you fire yourself and hit a differently-colored piece, you switch your color for that piece's color. It's a simple concept. You've got your bonuses and combos and such. I included a screenshot from Wikipedia to get the idea across.
     
    For a while, the game is fun. It's simple, but it keeps you entertained. I'd describe the music as, well, elevator music, but for this genre, it works. After all, for a game like this, epic guitar riffs would make concentration difficult.
     
    But then you hit the bad.
     
    In a game like Tetris, the game speeds up gradually. After a lot of playing, you finally hit the highest speed, but you've been gradually brought into it. In Zoop, the game feels like it gets too fast too soon. You have piles building up on all sides, and they get going fast early on, and it gets extremely difficult to keep up. There's just too much to process at once.
     
    And when you get to higher levels, the colors of the playing field start getting.... wonky. You have multiple colored squares, with white dots on them. For a puzzle game that has you keeping focused on all sides of the screen, this is not good. This gives you a headache. I am literally sitting here with a headache from Zoop.
     
    So, would I recommend Zoop? No. I mean, I wanted to like this game. I can feel an interesting concept here, but it just feels like it was executed horribly. If you collect to play, avoid this game, unless, like me, you can get it really cheap.
  8. Ron Jeremy
    So, lately, I've been playing Cubemen, a tower defense game available on Steam, that I actually bought a long time ago but picked it up again recently.
     
    Quite a simple game, really. Cube-based graphics that are simple and do the job well, self-explanatory controls. There's quite a bit of game there for what you pay ( 5$ USD when not on sale), and it will keep you occupied for a while. Being a tower defense game, use of your brain is required, though as long as you use common sense when placing the titular Cubemen, it will never get frustratingly difficult.
     
    There's your standard game modes. Classic and endless, as well as a limited-resource mode and a rockets-only mode, which is extremely easy as very little actual strategy is required in it. There's also vs. modes that can be played against bots, or other players, though I'm not quite sure how active the multiplayer is these days.
     
    A good little game for what you pay for it. Not much else to say, really. It's exactly what you'd expect it to be; an easy to pick up TD game.
  9. Ron Jeremy
    Yep. It happened. I bought a new game.
     
    I was considering buying Kirby's Dream Collection, since I always wanted to play Kirby Super Star on an actual console, and buying the SNES cart would cost 30$. Buying this, I get the satisfaction of buying a new game, plus some swag like a soundtrack CD and a booklet, for 40$.
     
    Also, I bought a little K'nex Nintendo blind bag-type figurine for 3 bucks. Was curious, and it was the last one they had. I also managed to nab myself the display box for the crystal series pony blind bags. So, all in all, for a collector, it was a*drumroll* wait for it...
     
    Good day today :D
  10. Ron Jeremy
    I decided it might be interesting if I post updates about stuff I add to my collection, usually as I get it. I admit, partially just to show off, but also because others might find it interesting to look at.
     
    First entry is rather uneventful. Just a light blue Wii Motion Plus remote for a few bucks. Really great shape, and it seems to work. It does have some superficial scratches on it that show when light glints off it, and discoloration on the 1 and 2 buttons, but that's no biggie. Had some minor yellow film when I got it, but good ol' isopropyl alcohol (cautiously of course) took it off pretty well, and doesn't seem to have discolored the plastic or anything.
     
    The reason its battery cover is beside it is because I have my rechargable battery pack in it, which uses its own cover.
  11. Ron Jeremy
    That this blog's number is 52. Too bad I didn't just name it "Action". Then it would be Action 52.
     
    But, yeah. In case anypony's keeping an eye on this, I gave up on the time trial achievement for Sonic CD. I just can't do it. The other achievements I can do, but I just can't do that beat-a-level-in-20-seconds thing some people do. I suck at beating levels fast.
  13. Ron Jeremy

    Yep. This exists.

    By Ron Jeremy,

    So, I decided I'd like to have an actual blog that isn't just me messing around as PONESLAYR. (I guess you could call that RPing?) Anyways, this is gonna be a blog where I post stuff about my experiences while gaming, from achievements, to lucky drops, funny stuff, glitches, screenshots, videos, all sorts of stuff. Essentially it will be me stroking my ego with spectators. So yeah. I guess, if this sort of thing interests you, "Follow" this blog.
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