is my OC any good?

[PonyFan101 30]

Her name is, as of now, non-existent. If you have a suggestion for one, please tell me!

 

Species: pegasus

Sex: mare

She was born and raised in cloudsdale, but was never very athletic. She had little interest in anything school had to offer, until she discovered her passion. It's not that she didn't do well in school, she just wasn't interested. She drudgingly sat through every class, eventually becoming incredibly distressed when she realized nothing interested her. She was yelling at her parents in rage when her mother used an expression: you're angry like a dragon (this phrase will be made better later). Confused as to what a dragon was, she asked the teacher. Her teacher explained, and she became fascinated with them. She did report after report on them. She began to watch the dragon migration every year. Now, she is the leading expert of dragons.

 

 

Any good?

[Cyan Blue 946]

I like it, at first at glance I thought it would be one of the over-done nerdy/not athletic ponies. But, I like your take on it. Just juice it up a little more, add more information.

[firetorn 187]

Yeah need more details but its a great start, not too contrived. I'd like to know what her cutie mark is and how she earned it, as well as her appearance. That would help you with a name too.

[PonyFan101 30]

here:
 
She gained her cutie mark during her first dragon migration. Before then, she had only seen them as drawings in books. When she first saw her first dragon, she realized how much dragons had excited her, where everything else failed. She realized that dragons were her passion, so her cutie mark appeared

 

The stupid copy paste thing on this forum makes it impossible to paste in my pony code and a link for the site! DX

 

 

so, I have to type it in by hand:

 

ES00018/////yIT00IULMun18370041+G00/n453zVp/C/y//29617ly5

 

tinyurl.com/p965agh

 

(that is her cutie mark, lol

[Dovashy 1,734]

@@PonyFan101 Good, but it needs more details. I highly suggest you use the following template when writing your OC character sheet. 

 

 

Name:

Gender:

Age:

Species:

Eye Colour:

Character Colour:

Mane/Tail/ Other:

Physique:

Cutie Mark:

History:

Cutie Mark Origins:

Character Summary/Personality:

The description of the ponies physical features becomes optional if you have a picture of them. 

[PonyFan101 30]

I.... I spent an hour writing a reply... when I back spaced, I went back in my history....... and it's gone now.... ='(

[Dovashy 1,734]

@PonyFan101 Nuuuuhh :'( When I write a long reply, especially for roleplays I make sure to CTRL  A, and then CTRL C all my progress every few minutes, so if that does happen I can just CTRL V, and paste it all back. 

[PonyFan101 30]

For some reason, copy/paste doesn't work for me here, I even tried the paste button that appears in the upper bar, it wont work!

[Dovashy 1,734]

What about the hotkeys, CTRL C, and CTRL V? 

[Silver Letter 1,830]

I don't care for the character at first glance with the information provided but there is always room to expand for any character. I recommend more revisions and additions in the future.

[Aurelion Star 433]

Need a character dude

Make one so that it will be awesome

[PonyFan101 30]

here's a short add-on to help you guys see her personality, as so far she's been portrayed as a rude "Doesn't care" type pony.

 

she isn't disinterested because she is "stuck up" in fact, she doesn't often gloat or shove away any help or friends. She could never find a "passion" when growing up, which worried her when she discovered her friends getting cutie marks. She never had any aspirations, either. she never even planned for the future. perhaps she feared it? maybe she didn't want it to happen.

 

when she finally got her cutie mark, she was getting older. she suddenly became very excited for her future, deciding where she would live, where she would work, etc. she moved to ponyville, which is closer to the dragon migration. she is out of town most often, so she doesn't know any dragons (spike) lived there.

 

as far as her personality goes:

 

She is very cheerful, except when she is insulted or upset at someone. she is quite quick to anger, but doesn't find much offensive (hoping that makes sense, if offend her, she gets mad fast, but is hard to offend). when she isn't upset, she loves to joke and tell dragon facts. this can be quite annoying after a while. (don't worry, there wont be any constant fact telling, but facts will be told!)

 

how is that? please give suggestions!!!

Nope, the hotkeys don't work

[Aurelion Star 433]

well
the story does not add up...
no offence its just 
there is something missing

[Everleaf 541]

Seems cool after my break I (may) draw him if you want.

[PonyFan101 30]

I have a pony creator image already set up, but Id love an actual drawing if you'd like to

 

What do you recommend i do? What doesn't seem to add up?

[Aurelion Star 433]

im gonna wat for that drawing

[ChibbyBrony 3]

I think your OC is really great.  The only thing that is a little inconsistent is that she's quick to anger but doesn't get easily offended.  I think you should define "quick to anger" better because I don't think you're going for a character who just blows up at every little thing instantly (at least that's not the impression that I got from what you described).  I also really like that you used her temper as a lead in for her special talent: that was very creative.  Hope this was helpful, nice job with the OC

Edited June 29, 2014 by ChibbyBrony

[Pat.Rio.T. 304]

Yeah, I'm not particularly fond of the name "Non-existent". How about Jade, Lilith, or Tasha?

[PonyFan101 30]

Yeah, i can see how the whole "easy to anger but hard to offend" thing is contradictory. I dont want people to think she would be constantly yelling and always angry, but she does have the kind of personality where she is essentially bipolar (i am bipolar, so i often become extremely angry out of nowhere. Unfortunately, insults don't sink in every well, so i end up having a fit, where the only way i can express myself is through violence, if caused by insults, this can end with me hurting myself). I want her to be a friendly pony, but unable to control herself when she is mad. Do you have any suggestions on how to word this properly? (Perhaps it is hard to make her mad, but when she is mad, she is MAD.

[ChibbyBrony 3]

Yeah, i can see how the whole "easy to anger but hard to offend" thing is contradictory. I dont want people to think she would be constantly yelling and always angry, but she does have the kind of personality where she is essentially bipolar (i am bipolar, so i often become extremely angry out of nowhere. Unfortunately, insults don't sink in every well, so i end up having a fit, where the only way i can express myself is through violence, if caused by insults, this can end with me hurting myself). I want her to be a friendly pony, but unable to control herself when she is mad. Do you have any suggestions on how to word this properly? (Perhaps it is hard to make her mad, but when she is mad, she is MAD.

 

Well, instead of saying that she's "quick to anger," I would just come out and say that she's bipolar.  I know exactly what you mean when you use that word because my sister is bipolar so for me that's a lot clearer.  You might want to consider explaining what bipolar disorder is though, because a lot of people might write your character off if  they don't understand what it actually is or if you don't portray the disorder correctly in your writing.  Just be very careful when writing !  Other than that your character sounds great and I'm excited to see more of her in the future.

Edited June 29, 2014 by ChibbyBrony

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

Her name is, as of now, non-existent. If you have a suggestion for one, please tell me!

 

Species: pegasus

Sex: mare

She was born and raised in cloudsdale, but was never very athletic. She had little interest in anything school had to offer, until she discovered her passion. It's not that she didn't do well in school, she just wasn't interested. She drudgingly sat through every class, eventually becoming incredibly distressed when she realized nothing interested her. She was yelling at her parents in rage when her mother used an expression: you're angry like a dragon (this phrase will be made better later). Confused as to what a dragon was, she asked the teacher. Her teacher explained, and she became fascinated with them. She did report after report on them. She began to watch the dragon migration every year. Now, she is the leading expert of dragons.

 

 

Any good?

 

It's a great start on her backstory but it helps to do the following in order since your missing details:

 

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Appearence:

Pony Type:

Personality:

Cutiemark:

Backstory:

Other details:

 

It also helps to give an image or picture to better help us viewers to fully understand what she looks like. It's a good start on yours, but you need to come up with a bit more details. Like why she didn't like school to begin with, other then just lack of interest. Who were her parents, and why role as a dragon expert does she potray as, or is it a normal job for her? Does she get paid for it etc. You gotten her going, now flurish her stuff!