What's your favorite joke?

[VulpineTaco 525]

Why couldn't Sally do pushups?

She had no arms.

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

[GONEFOREVER 518]

A man walks in into a bar and sees this drunk at the bar sitting there drinking, and right next to him there is this little guy playing a tiny piano. the man goes up to the drunk and says "that's really cool man! where'd you get it?" the drunk says "that bottle over on the end of the bar is magic all you have to do is say what ever you want into the mouth and it will immediately be granted to you, so the man goes over grabs the bottle and says "I want a million bucks!!!" and immediately a million ducks burst through the door to the bar. The man exclaims "what the hell is this, I didn't ask for a million ducks!" to which the drunk replies "do you really think I asked for a ten inch pianist?"

[Scootaloodle 1,622]

There once was a green man who lived in a house, and one windy day this green man woke up, ate his breakfast then went for a shower.

 

Whilst washing him self in the shower, there was a knock at the front door. So the green man put a towel round his waist then went down and opened the front door.

 

At the door was a woman asking for directions, as the green man was giving her the directions the towel around his waist blew off and the women screamed, ran into the road and was hit by a car and killed.

 

The moral of the story is, don’t cross the road when the green mans flashing

[GONEFOREVER 518]

Question: How do you make a swedish man laugh?

 

Answer: Put a gun up to his head and say "Laugh or I'll shoot you"

[Scootaloodle 1,622]

Here’s some I came up with

 

 

What do you call a cupboard/closet that fights in a battle?

 

A wardrobe

 

What do you call a country where everyone sees things that aren’t really there?

 

A hallucination

 

What do you call a blaze started by a baby soother?

 

A pacifire

[~~~~~~~~~~ 1,174]

What do you call a short person who reads palms and has recently escaped from jail?

A small medium at large.

 

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other, "How do I drive this thing?!"

 

Wanna' hear the joke about the piece of paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

[Not_active 732]

 

Lawlawlawlawlawlawlawl.

[Princess Pinny 6,099]

This is my favorite joke.

 

 

Why?

 

[Justin_Case001 4,889]

My favorite joke?  How about...

 

Anti-Bronies!

 

Yeah, what a big joke!  They crack me up.

 

Okay, I guess I'll do a real one.  A neutron walks into a bar, asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"  Bartender says, "For you?  NO CHARGE!"

 

Bu dum, chhhhssss!