Helping me to find "Parts" for a fanfic

[Laughing Derp 27]

As you can read, i need some help, specially from the community:

 

Once ive started to write a fanfic, one was interested, the end. It made it to the 15th chapter, and i wont give up my writing.

 

Give me some input, discuss, but it must have to do with the mlp universe.

 

And a little advice with the grammar would be nice, ive never written in eglish before (means stories)

 

Thank you very much,

 

Derp

[almozayaf 72]

My english is bad to, i don't find the courage to post any thing i made, i have lots of ideas but can't write.
Things i find it useful :-
1. The writing-guide from fimfiction

http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide

2. Google Translation (I use it to fix these
3. Write in Microsoft Words First
4. You Will Suck, at first, a lot, everyone does, but they hide it very will.
5. Watch these Video

[IceBeerG 55]

I'm not even... what are you seeking for, once again?

[Chip Circuit 1,842]

What's your previous chapter about, or what are you looking for out of this chapter?

[Laughing Derp 27]

It was a big crap idea, the last Fiction.

 

(Sorry for my english)

 

I was looking, what would users like to read? Ideas and stuff... Things like this

[Chip Circuit 1,842]

Alright how about the protagonist, what's are they like, personality wise as well as hobbies/talents.

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

If i can have a moment, I've learned what i needed to get a good story going. and these are:

 

• Character Development
• Detailed scenes(whatever you call them)
• A good plot or storyline
• Study the characters you're writing about and see how they act or express themselves
• and finally "Pacing" finding the right one will give a good story a boost, so to speak.

Sorry if this was not helpful.

[Chip Circuit 1,842]

If i can have a moment, I've learned what i needed to get a good story going. and these are:

 

 

• Character Development
• Detailed scenes(whatever you call them)
• A good plot or storyline
• Study the characters you're writing about and see how they act or express themselves
• and finally "Pacing" finding the right one will give a good story a boost, so to speak.

Sorry if this was not helpful.

Good advice candy, but yea in order to have a good story going you need to know your characters. So if you wanting help from others they need to know them as well.

[Laughing Derp 27]

If i can have a moment, I've learned what i needed to get a good story going. and these are:

 

 

• Character Development
• Detailed scenes(whatever you call them)
• A good plot or storyline
• Study the characters you're writing about and see how they act or express themselves
• and finally "Pacing" finding the right one will give a good story a boost, so to speak.

Sorry if this was not helpful.

Thanks for the advice, i know character development is the main part of a good story, honestly im more into describing (hope this word is wirtten correct) the surrounding things, let me write an example:

 

*As he opened his eyes, a lightning stroke only a few hundred meters away. The Raindrops "plicked" on his face as he walked down the road. In fact, this person is me, a few years ago outside my house, somewhere in the forest near a lake. It was a small storm, quite nice to think about the life, what you do and how it impacts on your family.

 

But i was interrupted, my face went white, as sudden a tree fell, right in front of my feet. A chill went down my back, i was lucky that the tree didnt smack me. I stood there for a minute or so, slowly reaizing what happened*

 

 

Hows that? Is this a good writing style?

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

Looks like your doing all third person perspective. But i'm not that experienced yet to tell you yet, sorry. Try and include 1st person as well, really helps give them a look into your characters thoughts and actions.

Edited March 12, 2015 by Candy Star

[Laughing Derp 27]

Let me try...

 

"Ab bit later, i see something, what is physically impossible: a rainbow, in the middle of the storm! First i rub my eyes (can i write that so, rub?), but as my sight clears up, it is still there. Im holding my breath for a few seconds, and then, i just hear a bang and the only thing i see is black.

 

I dont know how long i was knocked out, but i finally wake up. I feel something upon my face, soft, heavy as a feather. Maybe a towel? But what comes comes next is not better, my head feels like a sledgehammer ram into my face. Beside the pain, i lay in a bed, my eyes are still closed so i can only guess. But suddenly a sound is in my reach, a kind of knocking, on a wooden floor maybe. The next on my mind is a slightly better feel, someones talking to me, and i feel the soft thing is being put away. A voice, like an angel, is this heaven?*

 

So, i tried... Never in english before, but i tried

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

Let me try...

 

"Ab bit later, i see something, what is physically impossible: a rainbow, in the middle of the storm! First i rub my eyes (can i write that so, rub?), but as my sight clears up, it is still there. Im holding my breath for a few seconds, and then, i just hear a bang and the only thing i see is black.

 

I dont know how long i was knocked out, but i finally wake up. I feel something upon my face, soft, heavy as a feather. Maybe a towel? But what comes comes next is not better, my head feels like a sledgehammer ram into my face. Beside the pain, i lay in a bed, my eyes are still closed so i can only guess. But suddenly a sound is in my reach, a kind of knocking, on a wooden floor maybe. The next on my mind is a slightly better feel, someones talking to me, and i feel the soft thing is being put away. A voice, like an angel, is this heaven?*

 

So, i tried... Never in english before, but i tried

Ab bit later? was that on purpose or accident?

[Laughing Derp 27]

Oh crap... Accident ;_;

 

But how was it, be honest, critic is necessary~

[sweetolebob18 728]

You imply English isn't your main language.  Writing is hard enough without having to worry about doing it in a foreign language.  Write it in whatever language you are most comfortable in & THEN translate it.  Also, just write the 1st daft any way you can, then go back & polish it on the 2nd draft.

 

David Eddings (the Bellgarath the Sorcerer stuff, among others) wrote a long article about writing science fantasy. I think it's in The Rivan Codex.   Poul Anderson wrote a short Essay "Thud and Blunder" (in English the genre is sometimes called "Blood and Thunder", this is a pun) about common errors.  I'm sorry, but I lack the skill to put in links.

 

From what you have written so far, you seem to be writing HIE (Humans In Equestria).  Over at Fimfiction there are some groups devoted to that subgenre.  You need to decide if you are using an established fictional character or your own. You also need to decide which (if any) of the Mane 6 you will be interacting with.

[Laughing Derp 27]

You imply English isn't your main language.  Writing is hard enough without having to worry about doing it in a foreign language.  Write it in whatever language you are most comfortable in & THEN translate it.  Also, just write the 1st daft any way you can, then go back & polish it on the 2nd draft.

 

David Eddings (the Bellgarath the Sorcerer stuff, among others) wrote a long article about writing science fantasy. I think it's in The Rivan Codex.   Poul Anderson wrote a short Essay "Thud and Blunder" (in English the genre is sometimes called "Blood and Thunder", this is a pun) about common errors.  I'm sorry, but I lack the skill to put in links.

 

From what you have written so far, you seem to be writing HIE (Humans In Equestria).  Over at Fimfiction there are some groups devoted to that subgenre.  You need to decide if you are using an established fictional character or your own. You also need to decide which (if any) of the Mane 6 you will be interacting with.

What you say is indeed a good start, and you name good arguments. But of course, i would never ever write a story and offer it afterwards without a check-reader. For Grammar, i used a person who corrects and gives me advice.

 

My example from above was just an example like i say. I dont like HIE, or PIRW (Ponys in Real World) like EG... God i dont like that... That ruined most of the fandom for me... Everywhere on tv commercials for toys, i mean the franchise-cow is milked til dryness...

 

 

Back to topic, i havent decided what i wann write, so i made this new topic. But thank you bird

[Chip Circuit 1,842]

Besides the few grammatical errors which are excusable because of English not being your primary language. It's really good, I think I most enjoy your use of adjectives to give everything a surreal feeling.

[Laughing Derp 27]

Thank you Chip, i have a reason for this, at least in my opinion: Everyone can write a story, with the simplest words, me for example, my primary language is a very very strange dialect of german.

 

Ive learned english from YT (im not kidding) and by playing some Online Games, over Teamspeak. What you learn as english today in Europe, excludes GB, is totally not for practical use.

 

Also is my concious kind of special, i often think in english, sounds better. A word leads to a sentence, a sentence to a similar word, but different written and spelled. Its like ADHS just in my mind if you allow

Edited March 12, 2015 by Laughing Derp

[IceBeerG 55]

For godness, you guys writed about 10 posts already and i still can't understand what exactly autor want. Question mark on a flank of this good colt.

 

You can't decide what to write about? You can't decide about genre? Plot? Characters? But you've already written to 15th chapter? So how it is possible to not decide something from these points to well... at least third of the story?

 

You want other to help you with your current story? I can say that it is great. Honestly, every story that writen by heart is good one way or another EVEN if i can't see some of these stories.

 

What users like to read? But, celestia, everypony has their own taste. I personally don't understand gore and shippings, but do enjoy dark and adventure fics.

 

How is it possible to say to writer what to write? Only if you are not looking for an idea for fiction? If so,.. we have plenty of thous =)

 

Something about style? Well, can do, just write 2000-3000 mini-fic one shot... whatever, and i'm sure lot of ponies around this place will give you helping hoof.

 

But, godness, what THIS pony want? Curiousity just killing me 

[Laughing Derp 27]

What.... I think some understand this really really wrong, or my explanation sucks...

 

 

The Fanfic ive written, is not finished, but i dont wanna continue it xD

 

Im asking for ideas, for a NEW one....

 

[IceBeerG 55]

Okay, glad to finally hear your final goal =)

 

But what genres do you prefer to write? How long are you think you want it to go on? Any character preferences?

Edited March 12, 2015 by IceBeerG

[Laughing Derp 27]

For first, i say 15 chapters à 3-4 or 5-6 Pages. An Intro, Middle-Part, and an Outro. I go so far, till nobody gives a shiet, be honest, dont you dislike when nobody reads your story?

 

Im not into a certaib kind of characters, i do what fits best. And with characters itself, you know the concept, im very open with that.

[sweetolebob18 728]

Okay, if you are thinking of new stuff you have some big decisions to make before you even start.

Most important  Are you going to create your own story line, or follow in an established story line?  Some of the biggest ones I know of are

the Lunarverse (Celestia went crazy & Luna confined her to the sun.  Trixie became the Element of Magic, Derpy the Element of Kindness, etc. Roughly follows the show events from the 1st 2 years, but wildly different (After Twilight brought an Ursa to town she became an outlaw in Boast Busters, for instance)

 

or the Winnerverse  follows the events of Season 2 from the perspective of a background pony.  Main plot is Life and Times of a Winning Pony but there are plenty of side events covered.

 

The advantage is that you don't have to create a world, the disadvantage is that you have to follow their story arc & fit into their continuity.

 

You said you don't want HIE, so that is decided.  Next, which of the Mane 6 (if any) are you going to use.  Plenty of successful fics have no Mane 6 characters at all but every fic I've seen has at least one pony that fans have heard of (Derpy, Trixie, Zecora, Olivia, somebody)

 

Using a Mane 6 character means they are already established & fans have their ideas about them.  This is good & bad from a writer's point of view.  Creating your own character (or using a lesser one like Olivia or Lyra) means you have to devote time to establishing it but also means it can be what you want.

 

Finally what genre? Detective, Porn, Slice of Life, Adventure?  Something weird (like, say, one of Fluttershy's episodes from the point of view of one her critters) or more conventional?  Maybe Dash & Gilda in Junior Flight Camp or what happened when Pinkie moved to Ponyville.

 

The bit you quoted from your previous work was someone's reaction to the Rainboom? (I think).  Good start, (a famous but mysterious event) but, if they are not human & new in EQ why would a Pegasus's wings confuse them?

Edited March 14, 2015 by sweetolebob18

[IceBeerG 55]

Okay, okay, sorry for oftop but since you asked for some advices about your fiction... i figure that i can ask some advices about mine ^^

 

To be honest i havn't writed in a month now - it's too damn hard to find any proof-reader who willingly help you with a story, if english is not your first language. I have begining of the story on a paper, and i have pretty much all story in my mind. If i ever find strenght inside me (and proof-reader outside to help) and continue this fiction it's going to be pretty large. I have almost everything i want to happend in a fiction in my mind, and there should be no problem but time to write everything and get a few new details as khm... sorta improvisation =)

 

Almost everything... There was one thing, that no matter how i tried to figure it out it sounded dumb. Main antogonist of this story is Sombra, and he basicly dictated Equestria for a thousand years. Ponies fear him, but they call him their leader. Structure is similar to this - we have an elite, who got privileges, and everypony else, who is well... working class. They have to work hard for surviving. But they somewhat happy - they lived like that for a long time and never thought that another way of leaving is possible. Yeah, so setting is kinda that dark =) The problem is, that i see no certain point for sombra to rule Equestria. Is like ruling for nothing. I made a shaky point that he's stifling ponies with taxes, and got lots of bits, but it sounds soo... pointless? I tried to think that maybe he want (who made a guess?) - crystals? But again, what for he need it? He makes his moves when get knowing that somepony really threaten to his authority, but why he is actually ruling these ponies...

 

So if someone will give me a good hint of what Sombra actually want, maybe something destractive to other ponies, that he somehow didn't got yet, maybe something else, i will be really greatful =)

[sweetolebob18 728]

Okay, you are going Alternate Universe where Sombra ruled the Crystal Empire & didn't get turned into a shadow.  From the time frame of "When did this happen"?  About the time of Discord or Nightmare Moon?  Perhaps he took over because he saw the civilian government as being too weak to handle the crisis.  It is a common motive in the real world.

 

Look at how & why dictators seize power.  Napoleon, Ceasar, they had their reasons.  Maybe not good reasons but many wanted more than personal power.

 

For editors, maybe somebody here could help or try over at Fimfiction, they publish a LOT of pony stuff.  There might be some groups that could help you.

Edited March 15, 2015 by sweetolebob18

[IceBeerG 55]

Okay, you are going Alternate Universe where Sombra ruled the Crystal Empire & didn't get turned into a shadow.  From the time frame of "When did this happen"?  About the time of Discord or Nightmare Moon?  Perhaps he took over because he saw the civilian government as being too weak to handle the crisis.  It is a common motive in the real world.

 

Look at how & why dictators seize power.  Napoleon, Ceasar, they had their reasons.  Maybe not good reasons but many wanted more than personal power.

 

For editors, maybe somebody here could help or try over at Fimfiction, they publish a LOT of pony stuff.  There might be some groups that could help you.

 

I looked over fimfiction and tried to find anypony there. Actually i found some. About 20 or so for all times of my searchings. My best guess is that size and grammar of my fics are nothing they want to handle =)

 

To be honest i'm not that good with histrory... Didn't napoleon and ceasar whanted they nations to prevail among others? To just make them better, by suppressing others and spreading their influence? That does not make them bad rulers, they were great mans. Great mans who made some choices.

 

About the time frame - is a bit spoilery but - it has happend when celestia and luna defeated discord. Sombra was one of the ponies who helped them, but then cheated on them to make them abandon ponykind, and flew away, why he became a hero and liberator. Who, of course, got all respect and authority on equestria.