writing poetry list

[metalcraze 63]

1.one day

I needed a way out

not a reason to pout

now you’re gone I confess

your death is the reason i regret

I swear tonight is the night

I promise to make it right

I hope, i dream, i pray

there is a heaven, proof one day

this baby is without mother

it feels life is getting farther

maybe one day I’ll wipe my frown

until then I sit down

these thoughts they torture me

the cuts on me they bleed

I know they all say be a man

but they never see the blood on my hands

I love you I miss you

though now I will never kiss you

these tears, oh so bitter

come from life, the life of a sinner

little baby cries for the lost

I never knew till now, the cost

I break these photos as I cuss

as my sin was that of lust

our little boy you’d be proud

but instead I look to the cloud

words we never make

instead the actions make us break

as these wounds fade

the scars still stay

I want to sing you a song

but instead goodbye I move on

devils wrath

 

people watch the sky

as nightmares fill thier minds

and you consume the night

it may never feel right

 

they will live their dreams

at least so it seems

as they thought they felt fine

the oppisites on our mind

 

as armogedden gets closer

and the devils wrath is over

death is upon us sooner

pain feels like forever

 

on the eath thousands of years

and only now our eyes fill with tears

cant rid ourselves of these fears

even when the crowd cheers

 

even end has its beginning

as everybody does their bidding

the holy do their sinning

funny how it seems fitting

 

everybody one and All

revolution is the call

see as they watch in awe

as we rise above it all

 

now the time has come

to fight against the some

we can rise above

god knows we’ve won

 

in the end its all a game

for all the financial gain

to go out in shame

as we cripple and become lame

 

the devils wrath is neigh

as you look in my eye

with revolution we rise

until then corruption is in the sky

in the end we fight

What do you guys think?

[ArcusPluviusIncitus 45]

Hey, I really enjoyed your poem however might I suggest using more poetic devices? Perhaps use some Alliteration, Repetition, Similes and personification? Other then that I really enjoyed your poem.   I tend to view poetry as Music in a way. You have your rhyming scheme and that's your beats, you have the length of the words which indicates minims, crotchets and so on. Anyway the point being I tend to not use free verse, but that does not mean I dislike it.

 

I think your poem is great and that you should challenge yourself, everyone should push their limits and from the fruits of their labour tends to spring beautiful creations.

[metalcraze 63]

Hey, I really enjoyed your poem however might I suggest using more poetic devices? Perhaps use some Alliteration, Repetition, Similes and personification? Other then that I really enjoyed your poem. I tend to view poetry as Music in a way. You have your rhyming scheme and that's your beats, you have the length of the words which indicates minims, crotchets and so on. Anyway the point being I tend to not use free verse, but that does not mean I dislike it.

I think your poem is great and that you should challenge yourself, everyone should push their limits and from the fruits of their labour tends to spring beautiful creations.

Sure. Thanks for the tip. I am always looking for ways to improve and expand.

 

Edit: here is my first poem from high school when I am down you show me light

when I am wrong you teach me right

when it feels dead we bring the life

when it feels quiet we sing with pride

and we made it far yet we keep going

we sing loud with arms wide open

I don't know why but it became clear

I belong here

the friends I made they

bring me up when they say

we are here to live free

to bring upon the harmony

not to spread hypocrosy

as we sing our words

we made it so far yet we are still here

we sing loud for all to hear

I don't know why but now it's clear

I'm happy my friends are here

cause we made it far yet we keep going

we sing loud with arms wide open

I now know why because it's clear

we belong here

Edited March 25, 2015 by metalcraze