Alternate WW2 Equestria fanfic

[yisetab28 89]

So, I've been writing on my fanfic a bit more and I would need feedback. It's about a tank crew 25 years after the events of the S4 finale, after the rainbow power has drained up all that was left of magic in Equestria. The main problem of this story has been introduced, and I would like to know if the characters are well written, if they're not too sue-ish and if the events are realistic. Story link below. A copy is also in the attached files, although the formatting didn't go very well and the text is really a pain in the plot to read.

 

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/256918/the-30th-tiger

 

So, anything to change?

The 30th Tiger.txt

Edited April 15, 2015 by Blitzkrieg