Wanna help develop a villain?

[Everfree 286]

Hey everyone here's  an oc I've been working on a while. His name is Somnium. I've almost got a coherent story for him, but some critique would help a lot.

 

 

 

 

 

Here's a basic summary of his story. Somnium was formed by the collective subconscious within the realm of dreams. Not knowing who he was or what is his purpose was, Somnium ventured through the realm of dreams until he stumbled into the dreams of a small boy.  Out of curiosity, he interacted with the small boy and the two began to bond over a period of time. Somnium eventually learned that the young boy was sick and dying in a hospital. Somnium did not know what dying meant so he asked the boy. The boy then explain the concept of death to Somnium.  The boy told Somnium that he did not to die.   The boy told Somnium he wanted to live.  It then became Somnium's purpose to put a stop to death, not just for the boy but for the whole world.  The way he will do this, is that he will put the whole world into an endless dream.  In this dream Somnium will have the ability to manipulate the passage of time between the dreamworld and reality.  For example, if only a mere second passes within the real world, Somnium can manipulate that one single second to be the equivalent of an eternity within the dreamworld.  This will allow anyone inside the dream to become virtually immortal.  Before Somnium can do any of this however, he will first need to consume a large amount of magic. More specifically alicorn magic. But before he can do that he has to "borrow" Tirek's power to absorb magic.  To do this, he will visit Tirek in a dream and trick him into handing over his power by offering an escape from his prison. Once he has successfully obtained tirek's power, Somnium will grow 2 odd purple things attached on golden poles on his back. He will use these as a means to absorb magic.   

 

as for personality goes, think of Chrona form soul eater but having a bigger backbone and minus being completely socially awkward.

Basically, he's vary curious but submissive in his tone and mannerisms.  Also, Somnium will lie... a lot to get to his goal.  

 

And his powers are the ability to:

put people to sleep

enter the dreams of others

lock people people into their dreams

alter the flow of time between the dreamworld and reality

absorb magic

 

 

 

So, again, any thoughts or critiques will hel me a lot.

 

     

Edited November 20, 2015 by Everfree

[Pinkiest Pie 405]

He looks quite good! I love the backstory for him too. Great writing and drawing! I love it so much.

@@Everfree, 

I just think you should make the background a bit darker, he doesn't blend in with the background like a villain would.

[Goodleg00p 30]

The story is very intriguing.

Regarding his design, I would streamline the legs more, so that their's either a gradation transition between the body and the legs or a slanted line dividing the two colors- because of the sock-like socks or boots or markings or whatever it is, I feel it sort of interrupts his look- the transition is too abrupt. 

Unless he's supposed to look a little mixed up, with the golden rods and tentacles and such

Again- sweat story and concept

[Randimaxis 8,652]

Alright, let's see here:

 

From what I gather from his backstory, Somnium is what is referred to as a "Tragic Villain"; his purposes may have been good to begin with, and you might feel for him, but the road he takes to reach his altruistic goal is a dark one.

 

There are a number of ways that this character could be developed further, depending on how you want him/her/it to impact those who read about/interact with Somnium.  If I may, I could give you a few ideas; take them however you like, or toss them aside - they're just ideas that I might use... but it's YOUR OC, not mine.  {:>

 

HIDING FROM THE TRUTH:  The child he's trying to save has already passed away, but he refuses to admit it.  The task he has set before himself is subconsciously an effort to keep from having to deal with the pain of failure, and he might even be effectively making HIMSELF dream; the reality is too much to bear.

 

PSYCHOTIC INTEGRATION:  The child he's trying to save is too far gone to actually fix, so Somnium has been absorbing parts o the child's mind/soul, in an effort to keep some part of the child alive.  By doing this, their minds are beginning to mesh - pretty soon, it may become difficult to tell which is which.

 

WARPED MENTAL LINK:  The child he's trying to save is so important to him that Somnium has unconsciously created a psychic bond with the boy.  This bond is sending pain and misery to Somnium, but neither the creature nor the child realize it.  As the child's illness progresses, Somnium becomes more and more unhinged mentally.

 

WARPED MENTAL LINK PART 2:  The child he's trying to save is so important that Somnium has unconsciously created a psychic bond with the boy.  Unfortunately, all the pain and misery the child has been feeling has begun to make him angry and bitter at the world - feelings that begin to translate into Somnium's own mind.  He is now trying to perpetuate the dream state because the real world gives him nothing but hate and sorrow.

 

'TIL DEATH DO US PART:  The child he's trying to save has subconsciously tied a part of his own soul to Somnium's, and if the child dies... so does the creature.  Only Somnium knows this fact - it would mean that he's not only trying to save the child, but himself as well.

 

Okay, there's some food for thought.  My apologies that they're all based around the child, but that seems to be the driving force behind this creature, so I focused on that.  If you like these ideas, let me know - maybe I could help some more in the future.