critique wanted OC Unicorn: Tempestas

[Tao 7,795]

So its been in my mind of reworking my ocs to maybe be from the bloodlines of the first Gen On My Little Ponies which I loved the first one is Tempe,  based lightly off Gusty the Unicorn.   I used her colors for the mane and tail and made her have a pony tail and also not the pure white,  but a off shade in toned.   She has a talent for wind magic like her ancestry Gusty just a lot more stronger....

 

So feedback is a welcome!  This is all just a rough draft and nothing is set in stone!

 

    Tempestas or Tempe

Unicorn

23

Bloodline: Gusty the Unicorn

Mother: Gale (dead)

Father: Thunder Echo (dead)

Job: Teaching Part time at Canter lot’s Magic School and helping in weather Magic around the world. Often she is also sent out to deal with odd weathers and spots of wild magic.

Goal:

Home: Trottingham

Moved: Canterlot/Traveling

Magic: Wind Magic/Weather

Magic Color: A Rosy Pink

Clothing: Tend to wear a red scarf with maple leaves on it, looks a little worn,

Cutie Mark: A green whirl showing her talent in wind magic

 

Summary: Temp was lost both her parents at a young age in barely having any recall of them sadly. Thankfully a local  home full of loving ponies took her in till she was sent to Canterlot in hope of being expected into Magic school for unicorns given she had promise of being strong in magic. Being the the only filly by herself, those of the upper crust cast a low eye on this little mare and her competition made sly remarks about her. Temp only would bite her cheeks and try to stay strong in believing in herself like those back in Trottingham did in having used their own money to send her to Canterlot on the train.

 

Of of the bullies who would later turn out to be a good friend would be no more than Prince Blueblood himself that would act like the push she would need to show her true magic. Mostly he was just taking the test for show, knowing he would get in based on who he was as a prince. Digging in to Temp being an orphan, said “Well good thing on having dead parents, they won't see you fail!”

 

That was just a enough to hit a spot and the right spot to give Tempestas the push, coming to be nose to nose with him, gathering the magic in her to point it felt as if a twisting like a storm! She narrowed her eyes and let her magic push out like a wild wind while shouting at Blueblood, “Least I know I have magic a enough on my own unlike a bully like you!” Shoving Blueblood and many of the other young ones into the wall with the force of wind she had summon out no were! In this maddening moment, it was when a green swirl poof-ed on her flank in showing her talent with wind magic!

 

Later after a long conversation on what happened, explanations and such what and Blueblood getting a long talk from his Aunt Tia on his words and actions. Blueblood was made to say sorry to Tempestas face to face as she only gracefully expected while no other than Princess Celesta watched in a mused smile. Upon learning it was this little filly to make such a strong wind with her magic alone, Princess Celestia placed her into her school for Gift Unicorns and Tempe was on her way!

 

Years after study, Tempestas and making some good friends, even Blueblood which is its own tale and a few adventures with more to come. She is currently on her first solo assignment up to the Crystal Empire to help out with some strange weather caused by wild magics……..

- Insightful
- Faithful
- Questioning
- Extremely Independent
- Courageous.

-Dark sense of humor
- Ruthless
- Coarse
- Suffers from insomnia if researching
-Mood shift

 

Edited January 6, 2016 by Tao