A Question

[Glacies Frost 428]

This may not be the right place to ask for this, but I'm in the middle of writing a small MLP fan fiction short story. I... have been working on it on and off as my free time and inspiration allow. My question really boils down into two, though.

 

My story isn't quite complete yet. It's getting there, but is one not allowed to post partial stories for critique as they write?

 

Second, if not, would someone mind taking a quick look at what I have so far or at least... how to put this... telling me what they think about the premise of this short?

 

For those who want to read a bit of the story, I'll be happy to provide you the text. For those who'd rather just offer their opinion on the topic of the short...

 

"Just what led up to Princess Cadance and Shining Armor dating?" - The premise of the story. I wanted to try my hand and explaining a hole in the show's story that I became really interested in.

[Widdershins 9,959]

Well, firstly to answer your first question: Eh, from what i've read & seen on FIMfiction website, they don't mind you going chapter by chapter so long as you don't stop mid-paragraph. Everybeing loves a cliffhanger, eh what? Can't say for this site, of course, but seen a story thrown up here before.

 

As for the second bit, I for one love both reading & the sound of my own voice so I'd love to give a bit of a fair review of what ya got! Though I haven't a clue as to how you'd get it across to me though.

[Glacies Frost 428]

Ah, well... I could link to a view only Google Docs page, either here or in a PM.

 

Apologies for not answering sooner. I thought this thread had died.

Edited November 6, 2016 by GlaciesFrost

[Widdershins 9,959]

Ah, up on here is probably the better idea, bigger audience that way in case you want to get someone else to chip in too.

And don't worry, time is a vague concept for me, I don't let nothin' die!

[Glacies Frost 428]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Yqza-GFLJPxY_1INDZ_Sddblr0HqbaCI2R0l8JgxybE/edit?usp=sharing

 

Here ya go. It's... still in the rough draft stage, but it's coming along.

[Widdershins 9,959]

  Just read it! Sorry about that, didn't have this thread on watch and forgot about how to find it again!

    You are quite spot on with characterization! It's just a simple framing device with involving the Royal Sisters, and framing devices can be tricky to not make it seem completely superfluous, but I love the added interaction between them, something I've been hoping for in the show! 

   My first doubt was having the heads of state taken out for time off, but you summarily shut me up by having Twilight voice my nitpickery! Besides, not like any government is going to have everything hinge on just one pony!

  Love how your taking your time with the pacing, makes it come off quite a bit more like a natural conversation they're having! Love how your addressing the gaps of time we have between the characters seeing each other. Sometimes we drift apart a bit, but that doesn't mean we can't run into another again. A sentiment that sort of harbors some growth for the inevitable romance that will blossom a bit later in the story.

   Speaking of things that'll likely come back into play later. Think the whole "comic books are for kids" angle seems a bit mean spirited. Though no doubt that will be addressed soon! Then again, does kind of seem he was doing that while on duty, so... likely another level of why he wouldn't want to be caught doing it, hah!

    Your story has a nice, calm, sort of Slice of Life vibe to it. Looking forward to how it'll go!

[Glacies Frost 428]

Sorry, I lost track of this thread too. I'm glad you liked it. I love that you gave me such an in depth critique considering how unfinished the work is. 

 

I'm glad someone noticed the actual interactions between the royalty. I've wanted to see it a lot in the show myself... I figured why not do it myself? After all, I've seen the entire series up until halfway through Season 6. I was sure I could at least portray them close to form (I try to personify them at their best, however).

[KTAG 4,083]

This may not be the right place to ask for this, but I'm in the middle of writing a small MLP fan fiction short story. I... have been working on it on and off as my free time and inspiration allow. My question really boils down into two, though.

 

My story isn't quite complete yet. It's getting there, but is one not allowed to post partial stories for critique as they write?

 

Second, if not, would someone mind taking a quick look at what I have so far or at least... how to put this... telling me what they think about the premise of this short?

 

For those who want to read a bit of the story, I'll be happy to provide you the text. For those who'd rather just offer their opinion on the topic of the short...

 

"Just what led up to Princess Cadance and Shining Armor dating?" - The premise of the story. I wanted to try my hand and explaining a hole in the show's story that I became really interested in.

UHHH Yeah dude send that to me. I'd love to read it and give my review.

[Glacies Frost 428]

The link is in this thread, but I also PMed it to you.

 

EDIT: A Note To All Concerned, the story's skeleton is complete as of now. I might go back over it a few times, but as for now the core is finished. I may go back and edit in details, but the story in its entirety is complete.

Edited November 29, 2016 by GlaciesFrost