crossover Wrote this............how is it?

[Cheif-culinary2354 1]

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: Change in the Human World

 

The year was 2013, March 17, 2013 to be exact. I had awoke from an amazing dream where I dreamt that every thing on earth was changed into the land of Equestria and that all the humans were changed to ponies and there would be no more crime. Well when I awoke I went to do my daily routine and I noticed that I hade trouble standing on my feet, I then tripped on my foot and landed on my hands, but I noticed that my hands were hooves, I thought to my self “how could this be possible,” I laid back in bed to see if I was probably still dreaming, I slept for about 15 minutes and when I woke up I still had hooves for hands and was curios of what had happened I had walked down stairs and thought my mom would have asked me any questions on what happened but she didn’t, so I got a little more curios the day seemed to be normal but I know it wasn’t, I know I had to figure out what was going on and why the world changed. So I set off on my journey to find out what exactly happened why the world was changed into the land of Equestria like in my dream. I then went to school to see if every was still acting the same way as before which it was but they all were ponies, in my head I was thinking “oh this could be a good thing no more bulling everything would be nice,” then suddenly my friends came running towards me in this case galloping. They all started asking me questions at once I couldn’t understand what they were saying so I tried my best to calm them down and asked to one at a time to ask what they needed to ask. They all asked me the same thing, why was the world changed into what seemed like to be the show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. After they ask there questions, I asked them, if they had the same dream as I did and I explained to them what happened in my dream and they all said yes but there dream they were all them selves, same dream different experiences. So I afford my friends if they wanted to come on a journey with me to see what was going on in what was now equestria and how could we change it back to being earth again. But first we needed to find some clues on what happened, like what could of caused the world to change and why into equestria and why now and who caused it to change and why they did it in the first place. While on our journey we begin to see other ponies that actually come out in the show such as “Big Macintosh, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Apple Jack.” My friends and I stopped in confusion wondering why they were in what used to be the human world. They then noticed and approached us like if we had already meet before, Twilight greeted me first since I has in front of my friends she said, “hi there thrash” which is the name of the pony I drew of my self, I then replied “how did you now that I would call my self trash?” she then replied “call your self? That’s your actual name you silly filly” I then asked if I could have a word with her, she said, “sure why not” we then went to sugar cube corner (which is a sweets shop in the show) I explained to her what had happen at first she did not believe what I had told her but my friends the assured her that all was not right what is now Equestria.

[Lunarpalette 2,175]

This is really cool! If you are continuing on writing this, I would be very much interested in reading your every update! I think you might have had a couple of error but it was good! Keep it up!

[Cheif-culinary2354 1]

Thanks lunar i know there some miss spells i am dislexic and will try to do more once i get my laptop

[Lil Pip 775]

If you are going with past tense like its a story then try and act the part of story-teller to make it more entertaining perhaps(also pacing). If you suddenly switch to real time, it needs to be explained and the tone has to adjust. Perhaps an epilogue or w/e if you try it that way.

[Cheif-culinary2354 1]

Lil pip i wrote this like 4 years ago and have learning disability's, just so you know my trubles in writing

[Lunarpalette 2,175]

Thanks lunar i know there some miss spells i am dislexic and will try to do more once i get my laptop

Alright. That's ok. I just always give a bit of constructive criticism when I read stories. I look forward to reading more though!