writing Concept of a fantasy novel

[Ink 191]

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Edited June 5, 2015 by Shaoni

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Your writing is pretty good and I like the story idea. "Dark Heroes", aye. Interesting.

Hmmm, please correct me if I'm wrong. So there was a reign of demons, who enslaved the human. The human stole the artifact and hid it to prevent the demons from using it again, but there was a group a cleric who wanted to free Abaddon. Belzebub doesn't want Abaddon to be released and now he try to find a girl to help him. Character development, plot twist, conflicts. Why do we have to stop Abaddon? Why does the girl want to help? Why Belzebub want to stop Abaddon?

Well, I'm working on a fantasy novel as well, haha, but I'm a newbie. Perhaps we can help each other.

Personally, your first paragraph is pretty *gulp* not "hooking". You have to "hook" the reader in your very first paragraph. How? Give them something to think about. Maybe introducing the setting is good for the first paragraph. Bring the reader to the world first before you explain the story. Start by invoking the readers imagination with sound of the wind, glint of shimmering moon, smell of the moss of the forest. You know, like in many movies and books. It starts with a black screen and slowly reveal the environment.

For the description, show the reader instead of telling the reader.

"The fortress itself was a massive tower in the middle of a large city. The entire city was colored a golden brown, simply because that was the only building material realistically possible to construct a city of. "

Try to use active voice instead of passive voice. That would help a lot, trust me.

[Ink 191]

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Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[Sky Warden 2,243]

You're welcome. Mine is about dragon genocide, wyverns, human, orc, dwarfs, elfs.

The first paragraph of the prologue is "drawing" a scenery of midnight forest with a full moon which hid behind many rainy clouds. The second paragraph is about a group of man running throughout the forest and stopped in a cliff. Blood on their unsheathed weapon. The next scene show that it was start raining, and minutes later, a big green figure jumped out from the darkness. It swung its tail and spouted a green acid-smelled liquid to the group of men. It fluttered its wing and blood squirted from its ripped left wings.

Yeah, I know that it's not good, but like I said, I'm a newbie, haha.

[Ink 191]

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Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Yeahh, I'm not very good at describing scenes like that, but I'll probably redo the entire chapter anyways if I ever decide to actually write more on this. I think your story sounds pretty interesting, though. Are you introducing the main character later on or are you writing omniscient third person or something like that? As you, I'm new to this stuff, but I read somewhere that introducing the main character as early as possible is important too.

Yes, thank you. I'm using third person omniscient. That's a prologue anyway, to hook the readers. The fist chapter is introducing the main player. He's a "Dark Hero". Well, not dark hero actually. It's pretty hard to classify him. He learn an ancient (forgotten) magic, which often mistaken as "Dark Magic". He's the first protagonist, but the main character (One of the 4 Warden who keeps balance through the land) show up later. The interesting from the story is how I play the readers "mindset" throughout the story. If you know what I mean.

[Ink 191]

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Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Sounds cool. I've written quite a lot of short stories using a similar style, and I found it to be a lot harder, though. If you can manage it it could be interesting.

For me personally, third person omniscient is the easiest style to use. Just like a daily life story telling. The narrator seems more reliable this way.

Actually, this is my first writing. I've got the idea years ago, but start writing just a week ago.

[Ink 191]

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Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Sounds awesome. Hopefully you won't get tired of it along the way, I feel that often happens to me which leads to somewhat rushed endings. I guess if it's good enough to stay in your memory for years you won't do that, though.

Guess so. I'm pretty busy with my school right now (computer engineering in vocational school). This is the last semester and I'm going to be an apprentice in a company next year. I guess I will have more time to write that time.

What's your story title?

[Ink 191]

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Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[Sky Warden 2,243]

Haven't thought of one as it's still just a concept. I usually only decide on the title once I'm done writing (or at least halfway), I don't really think it's important before that anyway.

By the way, what's the theme of your novel?

You have to decide your theme first, then the plot, conflict and moral of the story will be easier to write.

[Ink 191]

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Edited August 21, 2018 by Ink

[Sky Warden 2,243]

To be honest, I haven't really figured it out yet. I don't even have an actual conflict at the moment. Still trying to decide if I even feel like writing it - need to make sure I won't get too bored to finish it.

Well, you have to decide it as soon as possible. What does the main character want to achieve? Or at least, what do you want the reader learn from your story?