A trip to a foreign land filled with... Ponies

[Mellow 73]

Hi I've been working on this fic for a bit now and I wanted to share it with you guys. It's my first fic I've written so far so I would really appreciate a bit of criticism (not too harsh please) so I can improve my skills and become a better writer.

Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/70084/a-trip-to-a-foreign-land-filled-with-ponies

Description: When a young DJ by the name of DJ D3V3ST4T1ON starts his way home from DJing at a club he is brought to the land of Equestria by an all too familiar shadowy figure that haunts his dreams where he is forced to now eliminate the monster with the help of his friends before it destroys all of Equestria and Earth.

UPDATE 12/23/12:

It seems I put the link to the first chapter only instead of the entire story. My bad ^^" I fixed it now so you can go ahead and read the entire thing.

Anyways I'm now working on the fourth chapter and I will have it up tomorrow for you guys to read

Edited December 24, 2012 by Mellow

[Otter 1,942]

Pretty good. Keep us posted with the chapters as they come out, I'm interested to see how this will play out. Your writing is, for the most part, grammatically sound. However, I noticed you neglected to capitalize some of the names, specifically Twilight. Just make sure to capitalize all the names, and you should be good to go.

[Mellow 73]

Pretty good. Keep us posted with the chapters as they come out, I'm interested to see how this will play out. Your writing is, for the most part, grammatically sound. However, I noticed you neglected to capitalize some of the names, specifically Twilight. Just make sure to capitalize all the names, and you should be good to go.

Yeah that's a habit I seem to have ^^" It's mostly cause I count on microsoft word to notify me of these errors. But I'm glad you like it! and thanks for the feedback

[Till Lindemann 8]

It was really cliche to me. 

 

I wish I didn't have to type more so.

 

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