Stealing Harmony

[chrisbiby 18]

so i wrote this and i would like it if people would read it thanks

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/8966/Stealing-Harmony

 

its my first story but so far people seem to like it so do read and leave a comment on the story

[I used to be a stranger 7,994]

Holy Dang you stole my WIP's working title.

 

I'll go read it just in case.

 

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It is poor practice to put author's notes at the beginning of the chapter. Also, it is unnecessary to put superfluous legal mentions on a website that is PURPOSED with Share-Alike Copyleft of material owned by Hasbro.

 

Pinkie Pie's discourse on being able to catch up to Rainbow Dash is very egregious since speeds, distances or altitudes are never mentioned in-show. This also goes hand in hand with me raising an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash saying such polysyllabic words like Temperature or Humidity; it is rare or never that she uses such specifics (even though she technically has the mentality to do so.)

 

Spelling error: Fluttershy's

 

Second author's note is also very non-informative, since information like that can be assumed. 'Cept the fireworks bit, that could be funny if you made a very serious and more clairified statement. Like "This Author does not endorse making fireworks at home. Do so at a friend's house." or something.

 

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Generally the fic reads average in terms of grammatical ability and narrative style.

 

I think I'll post the first chapter of my Fic on here just to see people's reactions.

Edited February 2, 2012 by Blue

[chrisbiby 18]

Holy Dang you stole my WIP's working title.

 

I'll go read it just in case.

 

-

 

It is poor practice to put author's notes at the beginning of the chapter. Also, it is unnecessary to put superfluous legal mentions on a website that is PURPOSED with Share-Alike Copyleft of material owned by Hasbro.

 

Pinkie Pie's discourse on being able to catch up to Rainbow Dash is very egregious since speeds, distances or altitudes are never mentioned in-show. This also goes hand in hand with me raising an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash saying such polysyllabic words like Temperature or Humidity; it is rare or never that she uses such specifics (even though she technically has the mentality to do so.)

 

Spelling error: Fluttershy's

 

Second author's note is also very non-informative, since information like that can be assumed. 'Cept the fireworks bit, that could be funny if you made a very serious and more clairified statement. Like "This Author does not endorse making fireworks at home. Do so at a friend's house." or something.

 

-

 

Generally the fic reads average in terms of grammatical ability and narrative style.

 

I think I'll post the first chapter of my Fic on here just to see people's reactions.

 

well im glad you liked it i hope that you will keep reading it