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Searching for a proofreader/editor

machotacoman

By machotacoman, Muffin

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machotacoman

machotacoman 0

(edited)

Hello, everyone. I have an Epic-sized fic in the works, but I just need help with upcoming chapters, not the whole thing.


The fic is called 'Chaos Marks them All'. It is a Dark crossover fic, though with plenty of comedic elements and other things thrown in for good measure. I should probably point out that there will be some mature scenes, but no outright sex or anything like that (but it's very close).


 


The plot goes as follows: Archaon, Everchosen of Chaos from the Warhammer Fantasy Battle tabletop game series, invades Equestria along with a full host of warriors and daemons behind him. Ponyville is quickly overrun, and its inhabitants taken back to the Chaos camp to be branded for service to the Dark Gods, used for labor, or sacrificed. Twilight, in particular, is chosen to be the next mount for the Everchosen, since his last one was killed during an ill-fated invasion of the Empire of Man.


 


Doctor Whooves, who is basically Doctor Who from the popular TV series, manages to rescue the six of them and spirit them away to the Old World, back in the Warhammer universe. They learn that a full ten years have passed due to a time dilation effect, and since then, Celestia and Luna have managed to escape along with a majority of Equestria's population and settle in the Warhammer-verse as well; our favorite diarchs themselves are currently serving as co-rulers of the Empire, alongside Emperor Karl Franz.


 


The story revolves around the attempts of Twilight and friends to find a way to reverse their respective curses, as well as all the forces of good preparing for the next Storm of Chaos, the gigantic invasions sent by the Ruinous Powers to conquer and enslave the entire world under their dominion.


 


Here's an excerpt from Chapter 4 of my fic. I apologize for any grammar errors, but that's kind of why I'm making this post, anyway.


=====


“This star was forged with iron from the Armor of Morkar the Uniter, the first Everchosen of Chaos.” Archaon said, tapping his chestplate, “Your Burning Mark ought to be exactly like mine.”


He parted the mane around Twilight’s horn, exposing the collar still around it. Hand on the latch of the collar, he maneuvered the branding iron so the hole went around her horn, her forehead glistening with sweat. Twilight squeaked, panicking, waving her legs at him but was held too far away by the claws and couldn’t muster a scream. Archaon pinched the latch and the collar popped off. Just as the first sensations of a splitting headache began rushing in, Archaon thrust the white star down.


=====


And now, on to my request. I need anyone with good editing instincts, a sharp eye, and mental endurance to help me whip this monster into shape. Ideally, I would like an experienced co-author who understands both the Warhammer Fantasy Battle and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic universes. However, I would accept any help at this point, even if it's only for one or two chapters. My previous editor is having numerous issues with his schedule, so I really need someone willing to take on a crossover fic this huge.


 


What I am looking for the most is help with characterization, flow, effective sentence structure, and just generally organizing this hodgepodge of ideas and words into a coherent story. In short, 'the works'.


 


For those who are not familiar with the crossover material, I can provide clarification and help with understanding any part of the Warhammer-verse, as well as plenty of examples, pictures and maps. I am available to chat with most of the time, and can be reached via Skype; my account name there is 'warobsessive'.


 


So, in conclusion, thank you for taking the time to read through that wall of text. For any proofreaders or editors interested in this job, please contact me via PM here on FiMfiction, or through Skype. Looking forward to working with you!


~ Kharn


(P.S: If you have any further questions about the story, don't hesitate to ask.)


Edited by machotacoman
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**Appleshy**

**Appleshy** 19

I could help with grammer and spelling. I'm quite the critique, if I may say so myself. I just don't really know what this Warhammer stuff is.

Crystal Patch -- "Let the party begin!" 

Everlasting Wave -- "Bring out the turntables!" 

Arctic Aurora -- *Ignores and works on art* (British Accent) "I-I'm sorry. What was that?" 

Ember Mist -- "Whatever." *Starts Reading* 

Silver Night -- "Would you like some tea?"

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machotacoman

machotacoman 0

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(edited)

I could help with grammer and spelling. I'm quite the critique, if I may say so myself. I just don't really know what this Warhammer stuff is.

I can explain anything about the universe that needs explaining. How are you in terms of paragraph structure and dialogue?

Edited by machotacoman
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**Appleshy**

**Appleshy** 19

Um, I can do that pretty well. Thanks to my teacher. So... what is this Warhammer stuff? La, la, la. Trying to get in 75 characters.

Crystal Patch -- "Let the party begin!" 

Everlasting Wave -- "Bring out the turntables!" 

Arctic Aurora -- *Ignores and works on art* (British Accent) "I-I'm sorry. What was that?" 

Ember Mist -- "Whatever." *Starts Reading* 

Silver Night -- "Would you like some tea?"

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machotacoman

machotacoman 0

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(edited)

It's a fantasy world, centered in the Old World and mostly the Empire. The Old World is constantly being invaded by many enemies which include the Skaven, Greenskins, Dark Elves, The Vampire Counts of Sylvania and the biggest and baddest, the Hordes of Chaos, under the Chaos Gods, Khorne (war and blood) Tzeentch (conspiracy and magic), Nurgle (rot and disease), and Slaanesh (pleasure and indulgence). The Empire's allies include the HIgh Elves, Dwarfs, and Bretonnia.

Edited by machotacoman
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**Appleshy**

**Appleshy** 19

Uh... okay. I think I've got the basics down. You know there's a site... wait. Is this MLP fan fic? If so, fimfiction.com is a good site.

Crystal Patch -- "Let the party begin!" 

Everlasting Wave -- "Bring out the turntables!" 

Arctic Aurora -- *Ignores and works on art* (British Accent) "I-I'm sorry. What was that?" 

Ember Mist -- "Whatever." *Starts Reading* 

Silver Night -- "Would you like some tea?"

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**Appleshy**

**Appleshy** 19

Okay. I'll start working on it as soon as I'm on my computer. And also, I think it's 75 characters. Now I've used 85.

Crystal Patch -- "Let the party begin!" 

Everlasting Wave -- "Bring out the turntables!" 

Arctic Aurora -- *Ignores and works on art* (British Accent) "I-I'm sorry. What was that?" 

Ember Mist -- "Whatever." *Starts Reading* 

Silver Night -- "Would you like some tea?"

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**Appleshy**

**Appleshy** 19

Yup. Actually, I'm going to create a new one, so that I can do the editing without giving out my real name. I'll do it later, though. I'm on a school computer.

Crystal Patch -- "Let the party begin!" 

Everlasting Wave -- "Bring out the turntables!" 

Arctic Aurora -- *Ignores and works on art* (British Accent) "I-I'm sorry. What was that?" 

Ember Mist -- "Whatever." *Starts Reading* 

Silver Night -- "Would you like some tea?"

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**Appleshy**

**Appleshy** 19

Okay. I'll get to it as soon as I can.

 

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Crystal Patch -- "Let the party begin!" 

Everlasting Wave -- "Bring out the turntables!" 

Arctic Aurora -- *Ignores and works on art* (British Accent) "I-I'm sorry. What was that?" 

Ember Mist -- "Whatever." *Starts Reading* 

Silver Night -- "Would you like some tea?"

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