Are people maturing slower these days?

[Thrashy 2,800]

I think a large part of it has to do with the advancement of humans as a species. The further you go back in time, the harder life becomes - gotta eat to live, gotta work to eat, and that includes even the kiddies. Conditions were pretty tough back then, so it only makes sense that parents had to enforce some tough love upon their kids by forcing them to grow up right away. But conditions are undeniably easier nowadays thanks to our ever growing technology...which is why I hope beyond hope that we'll never devolve to the point that humans in Wall-E have.

Edited December 18, 2013 by Lord Thrashicane

[LED Dasher 228]

Lately yeah.

 

Parents also have the blame as most are too easy going and loose towards what their children do nowadays.

 

My parents never raised me correctly, but I learn from myself, and I've been mature since I entered middle school.

 

I tend to learn a lot more by making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. However, certain mistakes such as getting into a car accident or wasting thousands of dollars should be avoided. It's better to learn from the mistakes of others than from our mistakes.

 

I see where you are going with this for sure... 

 

Whenever I hear of my parents talking or hear from other elders speak of their times and experiences. It would seem they had it a lot harder than most of in our generation of now. If you look at our generation and compare it to those of past it does start to make sense. When I think of my grandparents I think of how hard working they were and the lessons and values they had taught me when I was younger. I think a lot of our generation now lacks the motivation to do anything and choosing the easy way out in life. I do believe that to an extent people are maturing slower compared to older generations.

 

I find it odd that this generation isn't being taught the values previous generations have been taught. It seems to me that people are too distracted these days.

 

I think a lot of it has to do with parenting, but there are most likely other factors - but yes, we do seem to be maturing more slowly. I'm 18 and working a job while living at home with my parents, I graduated high school with one of the lowest GPA's in my class, even though I found almost all the classes irritatingly easy. I have severe issues with social situations, so even talking to the cashier at the grocery store is difficult - the reason I'm not attending college is because I was too scared to talk to the people I needed to in order to get my application in. I would say I'm the perfect example!

 

I'm sure quite a few people have "social issues." This never seemed to be an issue in the past, but for some reason it's becoming more common. As I grew older and had more experience with people, I learned to articulate myself properly and deal with my "social issues."

 

 

I don't know about maturity, but that doesn't really bother me that much. I'm much more concerned about the fact that society doesn't seem to grow some basic human niceness. Case in point: the people in this thread who thinks that hardship and negative reinforcement is the only way to improving yourself, who blame immaturity on parents being "too soft" and think it's morally acceptable to look down on people who are less mature.

 

Sure, it's important to improve yourself, but I'd rather deal with a bit of immaturity here and there than support the kind of sugar-coated social darwinism that the majority of people seem to advocate. Get some damn perpective guys, this issue isn't black and white.

 

I'm thinking that maybe if parents (and, by extention, society) could teach responsibility and perseverance without being massive douches about it like they are now, we just might make the human race into something civilised for once.

 

Definitely! The problem with society is the "survival of the fittest" mentality. Only people who are seen as "tough" or "strong" are given opportunities to excel and thrive when people who are seen as "weak" and "immature" are not given a chance to improve themselves. 

 

 

I agree with this. I know it's essential to be exposed to new things or hardship in order to understand but it seems many people forget that there are multiple ways of effectively teaching an individual practical skills. Of course this can't all be applied black and white to everyone, some individuals require more rigorous teaching than others. But don't forget that positive constructive feedback can be thrice as stimulating (scientifically proven) than negative and cruel feedback.

 

Let's take an example:

 

Bob is 19, he lives with his parents. He got no money for college, he has very little practical skills for life and his parents' financial situation also isn't too good. His parents want him to live on his own in 6 months. How can they do that?

 

1. Give him 6 months time (a deadline) and don't do shit, perhaps make some rude comments and constantly remind him how cruel and unforgiving the real world is, when the time comes just kick him out. He must learn to survive in this world all by himself.

 

2. Give him 6 months time (a deadline) and help him set up a plan (job, living, money, education), try to teach him the skills you as parent already know and (emotionally) support him 100%. Then send him out and keep in touch with him.

 

3. Give him 6 months time (a deadline) and encourage him to set up a plan by himself. Give positive constructive feedback and constantly remind him that he can make it if he really wants to (support him emotionally) so that he at least leaves home full of positivity. In the beginning you still hold tight to him but then you slowly loosen your grip on him until he is nearing independence. Then send him out and keep in touch with him.

 

I mean, what would stimulate a person more?

 

Saying: ''In 6 months you will be kicked out and I don't give a fuck what happens to you, you bastard!''

 

Saying: ''In 6 months you will be living on your own, I will try to teach you as much as possible and I will always be there to support you emotionally. I'm sure you can make it, I know you can. Just trust yourself and have confidence!''

 

All right... remember, person A is not person B. What might work for A might not for B. This is not a black and white issue. The environment greatly influences outcome but is not absolute. Person A can thrive and succeed under horrible circumstances while B cannot and C could only make it half-way.

 

I hope this gives some insight.

 

Nice practical example of Fluttermena's idea. Parents really should take the time to help their children adjust to living by themselves instead of simply forcing them to be on their own. A lot of the problems can be attributed to the idea of letting others "sink or swim."

[Lunaholic 969]

Back in 1800s kids had it clear since early childhood what will their life be. They focused on farming, household duties and finding a wife/husband to bear children ASAP to avoid additional taxes for not having children before certain age. They also aged faster. A person in their 30s looked like today's 50 years old due harsh condition, hard work, lack of sleep and poor nutrience. Crying and acting childish were punished harshly by the parents and community in general.

Higher class had it different. The children were planned to marry another royalty or noble already before their birth for pure political reasons to form alliances. However they looked much younger for their age than the peasants. They were however forced to study languages, politics and economy since young age.

Today we have so much more freedom to choose and harsh parenting is looked down. Children seems to have more protection around them and full freedom to play and learn.

[ExplosionMare 21,980]

Yes, but that's not always a bad thing. Most people nowadays actually have the time to slow down and figure out what they want to do in life and who they want to become as a person. I am one of those people since I am only now building an "adult" life for myself, even though I've been an adult for a few years now.

I personally don't care how quick it takes people to act mature as long as they're still treating others with politeness and respect.

[Dreambiscuit 11,324]

It definitely seems to be the case. Maturity and even overall intelligence seems to be dropping at a dramatic rate compared with past generations. Largely responsible is the internet, which encourages people to attach the most importance to the least important things, like gaining popularity among peers who would just as happily chew them up and spit them out for falling out of favor with the lowest common denominator. Acting in a way that takes no responsibility is another prevailing aspect of online existence; people don’t govern themselves according to maturity or doing the right thing because it’s all anonymous and no one can hold them accountable. Parents are often inclined to let their kids do what they want rather than guiding their path and preparing them for future life, so many young people spend vast amounts of time playing video games and watching Youtube videos than going out and seeing that there’s a vast real world out there with much more to offer. It’s not bad parenting to teach kids for their own good, even if modern society is hell-bent on being offended every time someone attempts to instruct or correct anyone, even for their own good. It’s easier to play the victim than to make an effort to improve. This is when immaturity comes in; it represents the easier path in a world when effort is unattractive and undesirable, and the rewards are dismissed as out of reach. If people aren’t willing or able to take responsibility for their own lives, or spend enough time in personal reflection to understand action and consequence, someone else has to make a move to correct this course. That’s how it worked in past generations and it obviously worked for them.