if a "friend" doesn't start something. Are they really your friend?

[TheMarkz0ne 962]

If your friend never calls you, like ever are they really your friend? I went two months without calling a friend of mine and he never even bothered to skype. When we hang out it seems like he's irritated. I am used to being around these people, but I don't like liars. He also greets me on the phone with "yes" instead of a nice hello or hi.

[That One Techpriest You Used To Know 2,286]

@@TheMarkz0ne, Well, that's the thing about friends. Opinions change, and they then tend to... float apart... 

[TheMarkz0ne 962]

@@TheMarkz0ne, Well, that's the thing about friends. Opinions change, and they then tend to... float apart... 

well then that's not a friend! Because that's 1/3 of my life wasted that could have gone into something else.

[That One Techpriest You Used To Know 2,286]

@@TheMarkz0ne, Well, it is what it is. If you float apart, it sucks, but it's what happens. You can only very rarely find a lifelong friend. 

[lomk 20,663]

I'm not much for calling someone and talking on the phone. Thus, I never really call my friends. I don't think it makes me a bad friend. I just very very very much prefer to spend time with those friends face to face than to call them on the phone. When I go home, where all my old friends are, I hit them up and ask to chill. But I never really call them when I'm not home. Some folks like me are just more personable in person. I like going and doing things. Not sitting on the phone in idle chit chat. 

 

I don't know about the irritated thing, though. I never really get that from anyone...

Edited January 29, 2014 by Space Woona

[TheMarkz0ne 962]

His excuses are the following

 

I have homework(takes him about 2 hours to do)

I'm busy....

 

 

when he is "doing homework" all day long, that means he's playing 360 in his basement all day. I know him and I know it doesn't take him long to do academics.

[Scootalove 10,689]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but maybe he is going through something that is making him feel this way. Okay, it seems he is irritated but that doesn't mean that he doesn't walk to talk or hang out. It doesn't make him a bad friend if he doesn't call you or Skype with you, all friends do that.

[LordDiscord 289]

If it becomes apparent that someone does not want to be around you and are easily annoyed by your presence than they probably are not your friend. It is better to either sit down and discuss it with them and force the answer out of them, other wise there is a chance that they could easily turn on you and start giving personal information away to people you would not like that info getting to, trust me I have had friends that did this to me, and it is not pleasant. I determine a friend as someone that is A: trust worthy, B: has no problem being near or around you, C: will actually worry if you are gone for extended periods of time, and D: will except you no matter what you like or how you act.

[ChoroChii 284]

I hate the phone and I don't really like going out, does that mean I don't want to be friends? Nah. 

 

It's also fairly difficult to be the first one to message, I just always assume if somebody says they're my friend, they are my friend. I don't really care how often I talk to people. Unless I don't even know them at all. 

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

If your friend never calls you, like ever are they really your friend? I went two months without calling a friend of mine and he never even bothered to skype.

119. I rede thee, Loddfafnir! | and hear thou my rede,--

 

Profit thou hast if thou hearest,

Great thy gain if thou learnest:

If a friend thou hast | whom thou fully wilt trust,

Then fare to find him oft;

For brambles grow | and waving grass

On the rarely trodden road.

If you never contact your friend, that friend will likely feel the way you feel now. If you want to maintain that friendship, take action to do so, you can't just wait for it to happen. Friendship requires involvement from all parties. If you want to maintain this friendship, I recommend you start working to rebuild it, otherwise you will lose it completely. Edited January 30, 2014 by Frith is Magik

[Neon Fire 473]

Maybe you should ask him if something is going on in his life.  Ask him if he's okay instead of assuming he's annoyed at you.  Sometimes people don't contact their friends because something is going on and don't feel like talking to anyone.

[Flash Fire 386]

I have friends that I go months and years between contact. That doesn't make us care any less about each other. Heck, I have one friend, that since our lives went in such different directions, we can only make the time to hang out on the anniversary of our mutual friends death. He's still like a brother to me though. 

[Deesinn 393]

The thing is, friends in real life are not like friends in My Little Pony.  I have one friend named Eric, and we have been best friends since Kindergarten.  We go on and off for sometimes years at a time, but nothing ever changes and we have always been really cdlose friends.  We can talk on the phone for hours on end after a 3 year gap like nothing happened, it's actually really cool.  That's the only person I can say that is really a friend for life so far.  I have other friends I still hang out with since high school, and I have new friends that I meet all of the time, but I also have plenty of ex friends, where we just stop talking, or we move away, or one of us change and realize that being friends with that person is not doing anything for one of us anymore.  I used to have a friend named Steven I knew since Kindergarten, used to chill with him many times a week for years on end, and 4 years ago we stopped hangin out because I gained a lot of self confidence and he kind of stayed in the same place, so he did not want to do the things I wanted to do anymore, so hanging out with him became something that pulled me down.  I also had a whole group I used to be a part of, we where into partying heavily and drugs, but I moved to another town, so I cut contact with them over time. 

 

Sometimes you have to make the effort to hang out, or to keep contact, and sometimes they will be the one to keep contact.  You have to ask yourself if this person is worth your time, and if they are treating you in a respectful way.  If they're not, stop hanging out with them regardless how long you've been friends.  If this person is somebody you consider a good friend, ask him/her if you're still friends, or if he/she gives a shit.

 

I sometimes answer my phone "Talk to me" or whatever just for fun, maybe he's just playin with you.  Try not to be to over-emotional and over-sensitive about it.  Just draw the line somewhere, it's pretty obvious when people are actually messing with you and just playing around for fun.