adventure This could either be the best or worst story I have ever written...

[Shine 166]

The other day I was looking at my new Doctor Hooves figurine and was inspired to write a story in which Hasbro is this evil corporation that has a hold on the government and somehow aims to control people using ponies. Of course, for this evil plan of theirs, they steal ponies from Equestria, clone them, and sell the pony clones as toys. A group of super average humans (because in this world, the government sees civilian intelligence as a threat, and so the general population of humans is a little on the dumb side) discovers a few ponies who have managed to escape and must figure out how to help them rescue all the other ponies and save both Equestria and Earth.

 

I still haven't decided whether or not this is going to be any good.

 

If anyone's interested in reading the first chapter, which is all I've got written so far, it can be found here. (The password is "Grammarshine.")

 

 

Also, if this story does any good, I might add illustrations.

Oops.  I accidentally typed the wrong password.  It is "Grammarshine."

Edited February 25, 2014 by Pudu (Rainshine)

[Its Rainbow Dash 151]

So being Clever is bad right?...so is smart?

 

Lol just busting your chops a better use other then saying cleverness etc is bad is to say being forth-coming or a rebel etc is a bad thing to bring things up is a bad choice most true when evil corps are at play.

 

Instead taking the sly or low-key route is best.

 

Lol in the end that is just nit-picking anyway.

 

The story is interesting. want to see what kind of persona the pony has.

 

Last this kinda reminds me of Small Soldiers movie. 

[Shine 166]

So being Clever is bad right?...so is smart?

 

Lol just busting your chops a better use other then saying cleverness etc is bad is to say being forth-coming or a rebel etc is a bad thing to bring things up is a bad choice most true when evil corps are at play.

 

Instead taking the sly or low-key route is best.

 

Lol in the end that is just nit-picking anyway.

 

The story is interesting. want to see what kind of persona the pony has.

 

Last this kinda reminds me of Small Soldiers movie.

 

Heh. I never noticed that, but it is slightly like Small Soldiers (but the "toys" in my story are actual living creatures rather than real toys with artificial intelligence). The thing about the government wanting people to be dumb is because they themselves are not that smart and don't want the citizens to be smarter than they are.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I hope to update the story with new chapters soon. c: