Ask Christopher Walken

[Dattebayo 2,850]

*this thread only works if you read it in his magnificent voice*

*WARNING: Walken routinely rambles in posts, and has delusions of meeting people he's probably never met. He may also think what happens in his movies may be real. Celebrity stories will also probably happen

 

The Walken may lie.

The Walken may be delusional.

If threatened, he may even start to dance.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Hey, kids.

I'm Christopher Walken, and I like ponies.

Yeah, ponies. The colored kinds. Shut up.

 

All of the other celebrities, they call me names.

Like, "pony boy", or, "horselicker".

It's so sad. It hurts me right in my soul-hole.

 

So, I come here, seeking my fellow horse lovers.

Maybe, you will understand.

 

Ask me questions, kids. Lots of them.

I've got a lot if time on my hands, seeing as Oprah Winfrey, got me blacklisted from Hollywood for eating the last slice of pizza.

 

Let me tell you, kids. Never get in between a hungry talk show host and her pizza. It's like, a bear in a wig, at Disneyworld.

Ho!

Edited April 28, 2014 by Dattebayo

[LunaFlower226 38]

So what's your favorite pony?

[Dattebayo 2,850]

So what's your favorite pony?

Ho boy, there's just too many to chose.

That's like asking me, Christopher Walken, beloved American film actor, "Hey, Walken, what's your favorite dance move?".

It's the jig, by the way. I can do a really mean jig, when no one is looking.

Yeah, it's terrifying

 

 

I'll go with Derpy.

She's my favorite horse.

Nothing says "adorable", like a learning disability.

Ho!

 

I shouldn't joke about that.

Horses with learning disabilities is a very serious problem in America. Just ask, Sarah Jessica Parker. Poor girl, give her some oats.

Edited April 28, 2014 by Dattebayo

[Delernil 952]

(Holy shit I love you)

 

Hey Christopher, what's your favorite CMC?

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

Do I need an appointment, or are... walkens acceptable? 

[Dattebayo 2,850]

(Holy shit I love you)

 

Hey Christopher, what's your favorite CMC?

What? I have to have one?

Ho boy, no one ever said anything about this.

 

They remind me of a dark time, when I was baby sitting those adorable Olsen kids.

One night, I heard a bump coming from their room, and I went to check it out.

Those Olsen Twins, they were eating and absorbing the unknown Olsen triplett, and became they became her. Yeah, it was horrifying.

I tell you, kids. My butthole puckered so hard, the drop in air pressure killed all the surrounding wildlife in the area.

 

But yeah.

I guess, if I had to pick, I'd have to pick, Sweetie Belle.

The way her voice cracks when she's excited, it warms my hemroid.

Do I need an appointment, or are... walkens acceptable?

Thanks, buddy.

It's not, like I hear that everyday of my life.

 

Yeesh!

[BayoUni2847 528]

I have tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard at these, oh good lord.

 

Anyways, what's your favorite episode?

[Dattebayo 2,850]

 

I have tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard at these, oh good lord.

 

Anyways, what's your favorite episode?

 

It's GOT to be, One Bad Apple.

When I first saw it, I was excited.

I was like, "Ho, it's my good friend, John Travolta! I'm a big fan, of your wife beating."

After shouting at the TV for 20 minutes, I realized, it wasn't my dear friend Mr. Tavolta.

 

And ho boy, can those little tikes sing.

Just listening to Bad Seed, gets me all worked up, I feel like I gotta...I gotta...

Edited May 9, 2014 by Dattebayo

[~*bacon princess*~ 278]

Are you space walken right now?