Yeah, it's a blog about hats! Exactly what the title makes it sound like. Anyway, I have found that one can often tell a lot about a person's personality by the type of headwear they don. I have taken the liberty of making a handy-dandy, albeit short, guide to hat-induced personalities for your enjoyment!

Let's kick things off with the pakol.

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The pakol, especially when worn by men named Derek, signifies an individual with poor decision making capabilities. This is the kind of person who would yell "FIRE!" in a theatre or drive a cargo truck through a minefield.

Next, the trilby.

*sigh* It isn't great... I think we all already know how this one works.

Which brings us to the fedora.

The fedora often gets confused with the above trilby, the difference being brim size. To clear things up, Indiana Jones and Al Capone wore fedoras. The trilby is often frequented by, well, you know...

Flat brims.

I have yet to meet a person wearing a flat brim who didn't turn out to be a colossal scumbag. It's something about the brim being flat. If the brim has been bent, the effect is nullified, and the characteristics are closer to that of our next hat...

THE TRUCKER HAT.

Notice the bent brim. This is crucial to the effect.

This is the hat of a man who drives for a living, leaving behind not only many a defective tire tread on the pavement, but also much of his life. Alternatively, they are worn by men who inhabit that most noble of domicile, the trailer home. The personality of a trucker-hatter is often hard to nail down, ranging from kind guardians of the road to belligerent trailer dweller. In short, the wearer of the trucker hat represents the true embodiment of America. That is, varied and proud.

The cowboy hat.

The hat that defined the West. Not so popular today as it used to be, but it still has quite the following in states such as Oklahoma and Texas. Worn by men who work for a living, take pride in their work, and drive pickup trucks.

The bush hat.

This type of hat, especially one with the band of alligator teeth, is the hat of MEN. Wearers of this type of hat wrestle giant spiders, ride kangaroos, and drink snake venom for breakfast. THEY PUT LUMBERJACKS TO SHAME.

Lastly, the Fez.

Not this Fez...

This fez.

Fezzes are not cool. They're worn by Shriners and old people in "secret societies".

So yeah, that's that. Keep in mind that all this constitutes an opinion. However, the difference between my opinion and your opinion is that mine's right.