Woohoo

*If Hell had the Olympics, Fizzarolli Burger would be an official sponsor*

Fizzarolli: It's all part of our big Fizzarolli Burger Olympic sweepstakes. Just scratch the name of the event on your game card, and if Hell wins a gold medal, you win a free Fizzy Burger! *takes a bite of the burger* Mm-mm-mmm.

Director: And cut!

Fizzarolli: Blaugh! *spits out burger* Ugh, I almost swallowed some of the juice. *drinks from a flask, swishes, and spits* I'll be tasting that for weeks...

Aide: Great spot, Fizzy.

Fizzarolli: Put a sock in it, pally! How much are these free burgers gonna cost me?

Aide: Not to worry, sir. We've rigged the cards, they're all in events that Angels never lose.

Fizzarolli: I like, I like...

Secretary: *walks in holding paper* This just came over the wires.

Fizzarolli: *reading the paper* Uh-huh. 'Heavenly Boycott?' 'Hell unopposed in most events?' How does this affect our giveaway?

Aide: Let's see... *pulls out a calculator and does math* You personally stand to lose 44 million souls.

Fizzarolli: *sobbing* OOOHHHHOHOHOOO! Oyy...

*later in the games*

Fizzarolli: *grumpily puffing a cigarette* YOU DEMONS ARE PIGS! *sobs* I, personally, am going to piss in every fiftieth burger!

*Based on these scenes*