TheMarkz0ne

No story details, just traits I have in mind for a story I might write in the future. Male young adult aged 20-23 Characteristics: anti-social not that talkative good natured, helps others, has a sense of heroism Questions to the point of annoying people illusive motives No practical talent Lone wolf/isolationist How am I doing with the traits?

Wanted to put this into a blog instead of a comment thread. This isn't mean to be disrespectful to any deceased people. I just view it as they were once people and if they were around today, I would attempt some relationship with them anyway. First crush of mine, is Emma Borden. Lizzie Borden's older sister. Lizzie and Andrew Borden always scared me as a kid and still do, with their soulless and deadpan faces. Emma strikes me as peaceful and was burdened to essentially mother her younger sister. I am not claiming this as a paranormal encounter, I know ghosts exist, however this instance was most likely my mind playing tricks on me, not everything is done by spirits. I walked into Emma's room when I spent the weekend in the Borden house hold with my headphones on. I felt this cool touch on my neck. Again, not claiming a ghost encounter, but I hope Emma gave me a poke on the neck. I don't care what people say, the Borden house is haunted for realsies. Emma's innocent and goddess face. https://sanctaflora.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/emmaborden1.jpg

I don't understand culture and success defined by society. It is why if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't bother fighting to live. Because why would I want to work and accumulate loan debt perpetually? Why work a 50 hour job that benefits the elite? Why can't we simply have a society where we service humanity instead of metering everything? I feel as if the modern world is a parasite that doesn't kill its host. Humans live contrary to nature. A wise man told me... Whatever is popular is not true. Truth by consensus is evil.

I'm not offended. I just hate this world that operates off money. We need to go back to bartering and education for the sake of truth and knowledge. Not greed and hubris.

I just didn't ask to be born though. That's one question I have always pondered on why I am here, like everyone else of course.

Had some time to have introspect about my life in the past several weeks. One thing people have always told me over and over again, is that I am too serious. They are actually right. I don't laugh in social circles, I laugh alone and it's usually things people don't find funny. I always walked through life isolated ans asked questions, questions and more questions. I am naturally a curious person and the way I talk to people is like I am studying them, if that makes any sense to you. Here I am now, 23 and alone. I associate with people, I talk to people and I have shared moments with people. But people in due time, have left me. Usually them coming to the realization that I am odd and they don't like me at all. This isn't me beating myself up, this has happened my entire life. You either hold these philosophies on the subject of change. You believe that people can change and that we can all coexists and potentially get along. Or you believe people don't change their nature and you are forced to deal with the hand Mother Nature dealt you. I am going with option two, the view that people find to be the negative view. I am not going to accomplish anything major in life. I never wanted fame, I did however want to die knowing I have done one great thing in the world. Just one major accomplishment and I could pass in peace whenever my time comes. I can't say that will happen at all, but I can't count myself out yet. I can only conclude that I am fine with being single, women don't desire me. And I would be fine walking the dirt trail alone in the night without a flashlight. I used to be afraid of failure, now it seems I'm embracing failure and accepting life for what it is.

I am subbed t a youtuber who upgraded to a r390 from GTX280s in SLI

Gaming is not doing anything in my life now. I want to get into shape and eat healthier. I am content with not having too much shit cluttering my room. If I have a laptop with an ssd, 16gb of ram and a decently powered mGPU, then I am all set. Nothing too flashy.

But PC culture is centered around hardware porn. That's why Nvidia, AMD and Intel continue to make billions because they know people will by new hardware annually. Most PC gamers I am aware of, are snobs. They spend more time bragging about statistics, then actually talking about the games themselves. Not calling you a snob though.

It felt like both AMD and Nvidia were milking their user base, everyone should have logically stuck with the 700 and R200 series and waited for Pascal and Polaris. PC gaming to me is just a money pit. Hardware aside, last year all the AAA ports ran like trash even if you had a powerful system.

The 1080 is not a small performance boost, it's a huge leap. So from my perspective the 970 was a waste of my money. I am happy that I got it 60% off on Amazon when it came out, because I don't think it was good. You either had a 980ti or weren't crushing games.

AMD can compete, they for one had high VRAM cards before Nvidia even bothered to. Polaris is aiming for lower wattage output which I admire the effort because that can make PC gaming a little more cheaper. The r480x was just displayed and had some impressive benchmarks for $200. And the r490 isn't even out yet.

My goal is to pay off my auto loan which I am more than halfway done. I also am leaving gaming to get into body building, and that requires proper nutrition which is a big investment. My parts such as the motherboard and cpu were showing their age. I had a quad locked at 3.40gz, but my motherboard has no SLI function and few PCIe slots. The 970 was in my eyes, Nvidia being cheap and the 970 could not be well optimized with AAA games from 2015, you either had a 980ti and were rocking games, or you weren't getting 60fps on max settings. I could always get back if I want to. But as of now, I can't worry about video games right now. If I come back to PC, then my next system is going to be a pure AMD build. AMD CPU socket and two AMD gpus in crossfire.

I am back to cheap laptop games and console gaming, sold my PC and 3d monitor for a decent return, since electronics don't retain value. With Pascal and Polaris 10/11 on the rise, my GTX 970 was not even a good GPU even when it came out. I wanted to sell my other 5 year old hardware before it depreciated even more. I also was able to put more toward my car loan because of that.