Pepperspice

Yeah. I don't tell them I suck because they know that's a lie! Pretty much everyone I know, knows that I can sing rather well. And yes the world would be boring! *Yes! Sorry people who are like 'OMG! SHADDAPPP!!!!!' Yeah let us move to a PM or something.

My mom wanted me to do a sport, but I refused so I agreed to do singing lessons at a place that is about five or ten minutes from our house. (Even though I do singing, I recently started Horse back riding!) And I am even scared to sing for my parents. And even though they are my friends, it scares me to sing in front of them too. It is really hard when people say you need to have more confidence, especially when you place yourself below others. You are afraid of turning into a cocky, bragging, idiot. I know how you feel. Yes, people should just be honest, and open up to others. I am talking to you emo people out der! Yeah love makes the world go 'round as I say! My friends have been by me for I don't know how long, and they still accept me even though I like MLP and anime. Hey it's cool to be different! If we weren't different the world would be a snooze! Yeah, let's not move to a different topic! And Np!

It's kind of the same with me, I am fine singing when no one is around, and in front of a few friends. But the 5th grade play was I first time I actually did a play in front of so many people! I had never done a play in the first place! So it was fun and also a bit scary. But the play was a HUGE succsess! And I was happy that after one of the songs I had a solo in, the people who were in the song (And me) got a HUGE applause!! Yeah, I was always the person who would get really nervous, and start crying. People would look at me and probably think that I was a cry baby! But who cares, I have people who will come up to me and help me which I think is so so so sweet. But I also think I don't really deserve the kindness that my friends have shown me most of the time. It has also been a thing, I place myself lower then others because I lack confidence in myself and my abilities. (And I don't like to get cocky like some people I know) Like when I do certain things like singing and drawings (Which people say that I am really good at, but I am definitely not bragging! Bragging just isn't me AT ALL!) I always put myself below others and say things like "No, (someone's name) does WAY better then me. I am not even hafl as good as (someone's name)" And since I place myself like that, my mom and my music teacher would have talks with me about how I need to have confidence! BUT IT IS HARD!!!! It is hard to have more confidence when you have always put yourself below others. But it would be nice if people would just honestly express their feelings, and for some people go and get help. It isn't right for someone to keep how they feel to themselves. Especially when they are going through hard times. The reason we have friends is so that we can say how we feel, and hope that they understand and can make us feel better. But if friends replace friends it happens. I replaced a Really good friend of mine in 3rd grade, and that went on until half way through 4th grade. And The person I replaced was my best friend. Where the person who I was hanging out with, acted cruelly towards the friend I replaced behind my back. And it was my fault because I believed the person that I was hanging out with, I believed her lies and let my friend be tormented by the girl I thought was nice, but turned out to be rude in the end when she called me and a friend of mine one of the worst words in the English language. And we were in 3rd or 4th grade at that time. It shocked me and surprised me. But yeah! Talking about past experiences is always fun! And besides, I am not just gonna sit around and leave you to deal with problems by yourself. NO ONE should have to deal with their problems on their own. It is a fact that some people hate to admit, but they need help from others. And being by other's sides when they need to talk is what makes me smile. Since I know I am helping them find happiness and light!

I have always had friends that have cared for me so much, yet I get so upset about everything that I feel like I am just pushing them away from me. It's like I'm showing them that I don't need them, when in reality they mean SOOO much to me. I don't know what I would do without them. Yeah, I have flaws, and if my friends can't get over it then why are they my friends anyway? I am who I am and that just won't change! But you know, I cry a lot, and I cry mostly because I get anxious. It has been kind of a thing for me since I was little. I get so worked up over something that in the end, I end up doing just fine with. Like the 5th grade play, the music teacher was concerned since she knows that I get anxious when I am up on stage in front of a lot of people, and I got a big part (And I also got multiple solos, and it was the first time I had EVER sang a solo in front of so many people!). Though when I got on stage I realized it was fun, and on the night of the play, I did just fine. I really enjoyed myself that night. (It is weird that I am bringing up the 5th grade play at a time like this!) But I think guys should be more open about crying. People need to cry to let their feelings out. The way I see it, crying taking a nap, once you lay down all of your problems and stress just melt away. Just like when you cry! I guess we both learned a few things through this rather long chat! And I don't think it is a rant, I see it as s conversation! And thank you so much! And I am also here if you have any troubles that you wanna talk about. I concern so much about other people that when they need something I just sit down, and listen no matter how long it takes me!

Yeah I walk along the road of 'I am pretty sure there is one person who likes me, but most people think I'm stuck up' road. If I asked a guy that has known me for a while he would probably say, 'Yes, she has a bad temper and she is hard to deal with,' And though people can get easily ticked off, I personally think I take that to the next level. I am the kind of person who takes what people say very seriously, and then regrets it in the end. I have started to realize that my bad attitude is just driving people further away from me. And a few times one of my friends said to me, and I will never forget what she said to me since this got me REALLY concerned. "If you keep acting this way, you will have NO friends" I certainly got even madder when she said that. It is scary to hear that you may have no friends. That is true, if they can't stand me for even one second, then what business do I have with them. Though, I think there is about one person who will accept me hopefully. But I am still wavering on that, because the person that will see you for who you are, instead of the appearance or the money, is hard to find. But I think that once you find them, their worth really shines. I am sure you will find a person that likes you for who you are, instead of your appearance! There is always that one person who shines out from the rest when it comes finding love. The person that shines and shows that they are worth one ounce of your love, is the person that is right for you! And since I just don't get along with a good percentage of the guys I know, I just choose to try and steer away from them, but I will come in and say something about what they are doing if it is like driving me insane (Yes I am that kind of person I knit-pick at people until the point they can't stand me. Without realizing what I am doing) I am just glad that at least one or two guys can look at me and not think, 'Wow is she rude!' And it is the same with true friends, if they can prove that they are willing to stick by you, no matter who you are, is a real friend. a REAL friend will open up to you and give you advice. And hopefully show you a new way of thinking! And most importantly, they will let you cry on their shoulder when the going gets though!

It seems like all of the guys that I know pretty much hate me because they see me as rude, snarky, hard to deal with, and it seems like they all hate me! Though I have a few guys that I talk to here and there, and it's because I can talk to them and act the way I am without being bombarded with hatred. I just hang around with girls, but I am afraid some of my close friends will turn away from me since I am at times up tight and act cruel. But there are the few friends who make me feel special, and they know that I act the way I act, and that probably won't change any time soon. But I am sure that nopony likes me, I am just glad I have my few close friends that accept me for me!

Forum crush: No one really, besides I only joined a few weeks ago so not enough conversation to really find someone that I like. Pony crush: DJ Pon-3. Why? Because she is awesome and she has cool hair. Gotta love the hair! IRL: Not really because pretty much ALL guys that I know are either stupid, rude, or both! You know what I am sorry that pretty much ALL guys hate me. But I always have DJ Pon-3 and that is good enough for me! And also DJ Pon-3 loves music, and so do I. I don't love her just because she is cool and has great hair, I do, but those aren't the only reasons. She has got a great sense of music, and she is very friendly like me!