HereComesTom
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Ugh. Just ugh!
I felt sad, but not depressed, while watching the finale. But after watching it, I've gone into a spiral...
The worst part was when I tried to sleep at night afterwards; I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I took a couple of knock-off NyQuil before going to bed. But as it's 3:22am and I've probably slept for a total of two minutes, both of which awakened me with a despairing nightmare...well, I suspect those NyQuil contained something that's keeping me UP!
I keep having feelings of despair and horror in the pit of my stomach: no more new episodes of MLP! I know the comics are coming, but still---the despair and horror just won't stop appearing in me! And it's keeping me from sleeping!
The worst part of THAT is what'll happen in the morning: I won't be in any condition to go to work. I do NOT want to be sitting in my apartment alone in the morning; that won't help with my depression and anxiety. But that'll happen, too.
I done got too attached to something, and now that it's gone, I'm miserable and afraid. This is the second time this has happened to me in the last few weeks! Ouch...sucks to be me...
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I'm feeling better this evening, but throughout the day, I was struggling with depression and anxiety. There were times when I actually cried---not while watching the finale, but the day after watching it. I was blubbing like a little child, and I'm in my mid-30s.
Still...this reminded me a lot of things I've seen the characters do in the show: just like Twilight in the Season 8 premiere, I didn't want to leave bed. Just like Twilight in the Season 5 premiere, I didn't want to face any reminders of what I'd lost---I was trying to stay away from my computer so much that I did things like work for longer than I really needed to on my work computer (I have the ability to work over the internet), empty the dishwasher, and vacuum my apartment despite my low energy levels. And just like Rainbow Dash in Tanks for the Memories, I found that it wasn't easy to cry, but after I was done crying, I actually felt better, like crying was cathartic.
These characters were SO believable...! I think that's what made FiM feel real to me.
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