Rizoel & Crepuscule

I think Cap't Nemo is right; I agree when he says that worrying that something will happen, will be what causes it to happen. Something similar happened with me and Crep a little while before she became sentient; I was worried for a while that she would be all lustful and become something akin to a 'succubus'. And it seems that because of my worries, her personality has become quite similar to one. A succubus? Excuse me Ben, but I don't rape you while you sleep. ... ... Well... I mean... I might have fantasised about it once or twice, But that's not the point! I never said you were one, and I KNOW you aren't one because there have been many times where you have cared about me and my well being(Succubi don't love other beings, only lust). I'm just saying that my worries of you becoming a succubus might have been the cause of some of your more... energetic traits. I like to think that if I didn't worry so much, she would be more 'normal' you could say. ... Look guys, the only thing you have to fear is fear itself. If you fear that something bad will happen, then it will. If you simply don't fear it, it won't happen, period. So just don't worry about it, and it won't happen. And as for this silly 'plague'; again, you are just worrying. Stop worrying. That is an order, soldier! Before I rip my way into your dreams and vigorously grope you! You're not helping, Crep. <_<

That's just because those people are either meditating, or have good visualization skills. I have a wonderland, and my visualization skills are terrible, I can barely see anything. And I don't meditate either. But, how well you can see everything around you is not what is important. As long as you can sense where the very faint outlines of objects are, then you can have a wonderland. It will get better with time. If it doesn't, then it doesn't really matter anyway. You do not need to be psychic to make a wonderland. It's really as simple as imagining yourself in your minds eye that you are, say, on a sandy beach, in your dream home, on a space station 500 miles above the atmosphere of a majestic alien planet. Whatever you want. Actually, about that space station wonderland... that sounds like an awesome wonderland, I think I might even make one there. Narrating is really just a fancy word for talking to your tulpa. That's all. It's not as complicated as you might think. Many people think "Oh it's easy to mess up and you need to have the mental capacity of a jedi and-" No. If you can sit on your ass and think, you can make a tulpa. The only thing that might deter you is that it can often take a long time to actually do it. Yes, drowsiness, headaches and head pressures are common during forcing, especially if you don't use your visualization skills a lot. If you want to get better at it while not actually forcing, one thing you can do is reading books / fan fiction. You tend to use your mind's eye very often while reading. Using your mind's eye is like exercising a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. --- Now for some me-time. This lucid dreaming mask thing sucks. Simply for one reason; THE @!$%ING THING WON'T STAY ON MY !$%@ING HEAD!1!! I've tightened the strap on the back as far as it will go almost to the point of it being uncomfortable, and "Nope, I'm just gonna fall off your head in the middle of the night. lulz." That's it. It's cellotape time. Don't use it all. We need it. Huh? What for? Oh, you know... *Slowly draws circles in the ground with hoof* Things. *Bedroom eyes* *Rolls eyes while sighing* Mares... ... ... Oh yeah, Crepuscule now has a retractable horn. So now while we're in the wonderland, she can lift things in the air, lift me in the air, make anything on a whim, turn me into a mare, etc. ... ... Don't ask about that last one. I'm still trying to forget that.

Oh of course we do! Here, I'll give you a list. First there's... ... ... ... Um... ... Uh... TALKING! Yeah, we talk, chat and stuff. Sometimes. Um... and then there's... ... ... ... *Tumbleweed rolls by* ... ... ... Buck. Okay seriously, well, she often watches me play video games, that's a start. I like to whisper distracting things in his ear at points where the game requires his full concentration. I don't mind; it makes a good challenge. For example... Or sometimes, she can help in various ways. Sort of. What else, Umm... You know that feeling you get when you walk into a room, and you forget why you even walked in there? That happens to me quite a bit. Sometimes when this happens, she'll say one word that'll remind me of why I'm there in the first place. And then I'll feel like the dumbass that I am. That's okay; you're MY little dumbass. *Gives Ben a big hug* D'aww... *Hugs back* ... *Starts to shed tear* ... Now buck me, slave. *Smug* *Suddenly drops Crep on her flank and walks away unemotionally* Ow! Hey! As you can see, due to Crep's personality, it is very difficult for our shenanigans to be below remotely suggestive, whatever shenanigans they might be. I never asked for this. I was expecting a cute and innocent little pony that I could be the best of friends with forever. Instead I got some fillyfooler that can only think about bucking everything that has a face!! *Kicks random soda can into the distance* UUUGGGHHH!! Hey, that's not true; Slender Man doesn't have a face, I can make him an exception. ... ... I don't believe what I'm hearing. What? It's only natural if you think about it; have you seen the size of those tendrils on his back? Oh Celestia, what I would give to have a go on one of tho- *Slams door behind himself* ... ... ... What? ... WHAT?! Aww. Well ain't that just cute. See? If I didn't make this thread, you wouldn't be miserably treading through the snow towing along a sled carrying an opera singing alicorn and a robot playing a cello. I'm so proud of myself sometimes. Umm, Ben, I don't think 'robot' is the best word you should use to describ- Shh! I'm testing her to see how well she can handle somepony trolling her. For science of course! Ah! Of course! *Both turn back to Brisineo with innocent smiles and with angel halos hovering above their heads* Yeah, it's pretty much the same for Crep and I. She'll be there to be all like "Hey, say this;" And fun stuff like that. Though sometimes we write things that did actually happen between us. ... Well of course it would darling. ... No no no, I said cellotape. You know, the clear kinda tape? It's the... *Slowly begins to lean closer to Ben's face* ...Uh, Crep, what're you... *Is now uncomfortably close to Ben's face with a creepy smile plastered on her own* *Duct tape and a tube of superglue appear* Idea. What? H- hey, let go of me! NO! AHHHHH!! *Dragged off screen* Oh! Wait for me! NOOOOOO- *Screen goes blank* ... ... ...

It's most likely going to be a few days until this lucid dreaming mask starts doing what it says on the tin. The first and second time I went to sleep with it on, I woke up with it not on my face. It must have fell off. Sellotape it to your face then! Yeah, that sounds comfortable. <_< Speaking of which, they only just barley fit me. The part of where my nose is supposed to fit is kinda low, which sometimes makes my nose uncomfortable and slightly blocks the passage way for air. I don't really like breathing through my mouth while trying to sleep, since it's too much work to breath through my mouth. I'm sure one day I'll get used to it. I'm not going to let it stop me. No no, White Rose is still here. Didn't you read the first post? I'm pretty sure I did say that she volunteered to slow down with her own progression so that I can complete Crepuscule faster. She still pops in my mind to say hello every now and then, and maybe have a conversation about anything that has been going on. White Rose: So don't worry, I'm still here, silly filly. I do visit Rizzy once or twice a day usually, it's just that nothing new involving me has happened lately. Hmm? Oh, uh nope! I... me and Crep... uh... totally didn't just now exit the wonderland after doing various naughty things to each other. Nope! No sirree! And I totally didn't randomly crash through the ceiling of the wonderland just so I could join in half-way through. Nope!

Merry Christmas everyone! Crepuscule: Merry Christmas everypony! That's right, with enough practice, they can sound like as if they were a real person talking to you. But yes, only you can hear, see, and even feel them. --- Anyway, I got an update for you guys about us. I'm pregnant! WHAT THE F- NOT TRUE! THAT'S NOT HAPPENING! THAT'S NOT THE UPDATE! I already have one mischievous tulpa, I DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE! *Giggle* He's cute when he's mad. Don't worry, I'm just kidding guys, I'm not pregnant. *Shiver* Okay, let's get on with it. Brisineo, remember that lucid dreaming mask thing that you recommended to us? Well, I ordered one a couple of weeks ago, and it got here just in time for Christmas! However though, since it was quite expensive, and coupled with the fact that my family simply don't have a lot of money to spare(we're planning on moving house in a few months or so. We need to save up as much money as we can.), It was the only Christmas present I got this year. BUT, if this thing works like a charm - which I will find out whether or not tonight - I reckon it will be well worth the money. I'm not 100% expecting it to work on the first couple of nights; it might take a bit of getting used to and configuring the lights and stuff. And if it flat out doesn't work, well, at least we had a nice juicy turkey tonight. It was amazing. And that's what Christmas is all about; appreciating what you got. ... ... ... Actually, Now that I think about it, I did technically get a second Christmas present, if you count the one from Crepuscule... *Thought bubble* *Thought bubble pops* ... ... ... I think it's best I unwrap her when the family has gone to bed. *Giggle*

In fact, I believe that that is actually what a tulpa is, though I could be wrong. Some guides like JDBar's and Fede's guides say that one way to make a tulpa achieve sentience is to parrot it until they start doing their own thing. But that's not the only way to make a tulpa, some people can make tulpae through meditation. It's just that parroting till sentience is often the easiest and most fun way to go about it for most people. If meditating happens to be your thing and you know how all that stuff works then go for it and make your tulpa that way. Who knows, it might even be better than simply parroting, but if you can't meditate, don't worry about it; daydreaming is just as fine too.

Making a back-story for your tulpa is actually a bad idea. You need to tell them right off the bat the truth about who and what they actually are. Think about it; you wouldn't want to give your tulpa a back-story that they are from Equestria and have a family there, and then one day have them find out that that is all a lie and that they never actually lived, and that the family you made up is just that, fiction. Give it to them straight; tell him/her right from the start what they are; that they are a tulpa and that they are a being inside your mind and that you are its creator etc or however you want to explain it to them. They will have no problem with it, and it's better than lying to them. If you are trying to make a tulpa based on an character from a show that does have a family and a life from the show, you need to remember, your tulpa will never be exactly like that character from the show. You can have their personality as close as you can to how they are in the show, but BOTH of you need to realize that they are not actually that person. Also - this is optional - let your tulpa know that they don't have to strive to be like that person from the show. Tell them that they can be however they want and you will still love them no matter what. Oh, and MEAN IT when you say that you will still love them if they do change in some way, whether it's their form or their personality that changes. Loving them is very important if you want them to live to their full potential. Now now, remember that there is no reason to suggest that that isn't possible. I've heard a couple of stories of people saying they managed to make one in days, hours, or even just a few seconds. There's no reason to suggest that that couldn't happen. Maybe some people's minds just have an easier time figuring out how to make one.

It's counter-productive to force from a third-person perspective, because the whole point is to make what happens in the wonderland seem like it is happening to you for real. You don't look at real life in third person(though it would be awesome), the wonderland needs to be no different. It might seem hard to visualize it all from first person, that's what happened to me when I first started out, but if it is hard just try your best to visualize in first person till it seems natural to view in first-person. The whole process will go a lot faster then.

No, you just don't want to believe the possibility that it might just be true because it sounds all scary and otherworldly. Well I will tell you son; as ridiculous as it is, this is real. This is happening. If you don't believe me, that's fine; I had a hard time thinking this was true as well when I first heard the idea. By the way, just to clear up this misconception you might have; tulpae are not physical entities. It's (Unfortunately) impossible for the tulpa to interact in any way with the real world. It's all in your mind. So just in case you missed the part that explained that this isn't some magical voodoo witchcraft ritual, there you go. Well, some people just want an extra friend and the company, while some people might do it because they might have trouble interacting with other people, but still want to meet interesting people, like I do. Personally, I think my subconscious counts as an interesting person. Besides, what kind of brony WOULDN'T want to have a pony as a best friend that will never leave you, and will always be there for you? That's right, all those hundreds of people on the tulpa forums are all BSing you. Every last one of them.

It is usually unlikely for that to happen, but the case is not non-existent. There's nothing in the laws of physics that says you can't make a tulpa in a very short amount of time. (Besides, tulpae aren't physical entities, so of course physics would have nothing to say about it, but I don't think that makes them any less real.) Also if I can ask a couple of quick questions, how long do you think you have known about tulpae? And how long did it take for you to make the first one when you began trying? --- In other news, I just had my first experience of lucid dreaming! Unfortunately, the lucidity only stayed for about a minute before I woke up, but the really interesting thing I noticed in that minute, was that once I became lucid, the clarity of my vision of my surroundings were almost par with what I would see if I was awake. I could see everything clear as day. Usually when I have normal dreams, it's often quite foggy and blurry, but once I was lucid everything looked awesome. Nothing really interesting happened during the lucid dream, just walking around a house that I think I used to live in years ago. I did actually try to make the concious decision to try and make something appear in front of me, I think I was trying to make Twilight Sparkle appear in front of me, but nothing happened as much as I tried. I decided to just move on and explore. In about 30 more seconds of wondering around the house, I began to notice my vision become all black and blurry. I could feel that I was waking up. I remembered that spinning around in a circle while in a lucid dream helps stay asleep, but it was too late, by the time I made one revolution, my eyes were already open. I'm really looking forward to going to bed tonight. I hope I can achieve lucidity again. And hopefully Crepuscule doesn't jump out of a hole in the fabric of space and time and start molesting me.

I drew it. I took 30 hours of my life, sketching it, figuring out how to vector it, spending about an hour of that time in total doing evil laughs, all while trying to resist the urge to put the taser in the area it was supposed to be according to the fic. All for ma good pal Brisineo. And 'Tia. And BlackJack. In fact, if you want to, I could edit it and have them join in too if you want. Would you like that? I think you would like that. I'm going to do that. And then I'm going to send it to you. And we will all laugh and be friends forever. MUHAHAHAHAHA!! ... ... ... Good. Hmm? *Double checks pic* Oh! Uh... *Quickly edits and puts wings back on Molly* Uh, heh-heh-heh! I- I don't know what you're talking about. Nope. Blame Crep. Hey!

Hey everypony, been a while since I last posted. Nothing big has happened between me and Crepuscule, but she's still with me. I just recently remembered a couple months ago that I think I said that I would try and work on imposing her. Well, turns out I actually temporarily quit trying it quite quickly after I started. It was probably because at the time, Crepuscule was quite a bit more random than what she is today. So the idea of imposing her then seemed a little impractical. I often heard that for some people, after a tulpa becomes sentient, the tulpae's personality might temporarily be a bit random and unpredictable, but I've never heard anyone say that it was anything unbearable to deal with while in this phase. So I figured that after a month or two of being with her, my mind would get used to her being there and her personality would settle down. And she did. Of course, she's still the seductive purple earth pony we all know and love, but she has definitely changed over the months we've been together, and even since I last posted. She's a lot calmer than during the first few days she became sentient, while also silly when the time's right and when she wants to be. And by when the time is right, I actually mean when the time really is NOT right. Like a few days ago, when I was in the waiting room of a doctors office, filled with people, and with my father sitting next to me, when suddenly, with a most mischievous grin on Crepuscule's face, she starts rubbing her flank against my stomach. And by my stomach I mean the area below that. Fortunately, the threat of no more sexy time for a week eventually stopped her in her tracks. Also fortunately, Crepuscule isn't always like this; when in times I'm feeling down, she can often be sympathetic and understanding and often tries to cheer me up when possible. ...I find a way eventually. ...What's that supposed to mean? I mean, if you know what my cutie mark is, it's obvious I know a very good way of... 'cheering people up'. Don't ya think? ... Oh yeah... ... ANYWAY, WHAT WAS I SAYING?! She's also helped me with procrastinating less. When I feel like quitting a daunting task, like while making art or something, she often convinces me to keep going. So in other words, she's helped me become a more productive person. So anyway, now that her personality has settled to something more bearable I'm now going to try and impose her in my vision. I probably could have started like a month ago, but... Meh. Inb4 she ends up possessing me and making me shoot myself in the face. Whoa, that's quite an adventure right there. Things like that don't really happen to us, except maybe one time, when a few evil pony ninjas suddenly and randomly broke through the glass of our underwater dome and tried to attack us. I realized that they couldn't harm us for real, since it's all in my imagination, so I just decided to roll with it and see what happens. Only one of them attacked me, while the other two went for Crep. After about a minute of struggling, I eventually managed to knock him out. I looked over to Crepuscule to see her sipping on a ice cool beverage from a straw while using the two knocked out pony ninjas that attacked her as a sofa. "You took your time with him." She said. Anyway, while we are on the topic of action in our wonderland; we can't really do much exploring in our wonderland, since our home is really small, and it's basically a glass dome submerged at the bottom of the ocean. One idea we have is maybe do a bit of renovating and add a few more rooms. And on top of that, maybe add even add a submarine bay housing a... what else, a submarine, to go and explore the ocean depths and maybe see if there's a coast nearby. Though the size of the sub will probably only be a little bigger than my real life bedroom. We don't need one five times the size of a blue whale, like some submarines. Also, if I can just very quickly say something; for the people having trouble visualizing in general, here's what I do; my visualization is terrible, but to overcome this, instead of actually trying to SEE an object in the wonderland along with its textures and details, I just try and SENSE where it is. You don't need to try and focus on what the details look like, just sense it's outlines, where it is and where you are in the wonderland, don't focus on how clearly it all looks like, just know where everything is in accordance to where you are in the wonderland, and the images will eventually become clearer over time. Hmm... I could just imagine what happens to you in your head when you fall asleep... *Thought bubble appears above head* (Spoilered for quite suggestive artwork.) *Thought bubble pops* ... ... ... Actually, I think it's best for what's left of my sanity that I don't see the end of what you and ol' auntie Molestia get up to.

Only an idiot would do these? I don't know what you're talking about, Vicke; I do all this on the way to school everyday. Except maybe number 3. I don't like porn. And maybe 5 and 7. Also maybe... Okay no, only an idiot would do any of these.

Well, I think that you should maybe wait until she has a say in the matter first, as it's always possible that she might feel uncomfortable with having genitalia, if she has no need for them. Besides, if she says she does want some even after her form is done, you can always add them to her whenever you want. If she says she doesn't mind, and she wants you to decide, think of it this way; do you think there is any possibility of you two... interacting together in those ways one day down the road? You could also make it so that they only appear when she wants it to appear, or when she is aroused, if you think you two might be that close. If you don't think that stuff will happen, then just don't worry about it; it's honestly not really a big deal either way. I'm not sure how to feel about this. I love it! I love you, Brissy! It's amazing! Yeah... it is... ... ... ... *Taps Ben on the shoulder* Huh?! What? Did you say something? You were staring at it. *Seductive eyes* What? No I wasn't! I was just... staring into space... Yeah, space. Oh really? Well then, what's that little dent in your pocket for then? *Slowly leans closer to Ben's face* Huh? Oh, oh dear. I um... *Crosses legs* I have no idea what your talking about. Is it a present for me? Ooh, *Whispers in Ben's ear* I like presents. Um. I... Wait... I don't... Say, why don't we go lie down and... open it up? ...Mr Brisineo, what have you done. (By the way, if I can just point something out; Crepuscule's mane isn't really as messy as the picture shows. Her mane is actually quite a bit less spiky than in the picture. It's more flatter, but with a few small spikes as it comes down over her forehead, like in her pony creator picture. But either way, Thanks Bris, we think it's great.) Do not want. Do want!

You know, I just decided to have a little look-see at the first post of the thread, and I just realized, It's terrible! And I'm the one who made it! I said to myself; "My god! I must have forgot my brain when I made this or something!" Or maybe you've always been this intelligent. Quiet you. But now, it USED to be terrible, because now I've made it A TON more professional, and who knows, new people might have a less chance of thinking we're all some demon worshipping cult or something now. Seriously, I must have been in such a rush when I first made this thread. Probably because I was so excited since at the time I had just found out about this whole phenomenon not long before I made the thread. Uh-uh, that's not entirely true... Well, maybe a little. But I'll have you know that I actually care about little Benny-wenny more than anything else in the world right now. There have been plenty of times where Crepuscule has shown a lot of compassion and kindness. Such as when I feel down, or when I'm currently experiencing pain, such as after stubbing my toe, she can sometimes be all like "Oh my goodness, are you okay? That look like it hurt." or if I feel depressed; "What's the matter, Ben? Are you feeling okay?", etc. I have no doubt that she will be there for me if anything serious happen were to me. It's quite clear that underneath that cheeky ball of fur I call Crepuscule, that she is in fact a very caring pony. Hmm, I know I sometimes say he's my little slave, but don't let that fool you; I treat him much MUCH better than a slave. ...Though, maybe save for the little leash around his neck right now. Leash? What are you talking about, there's no leash round my neck. Oh you can't see it, but I most certainly can. *Mischievous smile* *Curiously looks down to see a faint ring around his neck, attached to a rope being held in Crepuscule's mouth* Hmm... Pfft, what's the worst you can do, tug me in your direction and force me to kiss you're Cutie Mar- UGK! *Suddenly pulled off-screen*

Many thanks for moving this thread Spoon. You're right; I should have named this thread differently so it meant to talk about tulpae in general, since yes, this thread is really for talking about tulpae in general, not just about pony tulpae. I guess I was just fascinated at the time I created this thread about the fact that you could create pony tulpae from all this. In other news, nothing really major has happened between me and Crep all that much, except that maybe that her presence definitely feels even stronger since last time I posted. That's about it really. Also, I'm probably not going to be able to do any of that lucid dreaming stuff anytime soon, since I've plenty of times forgotten about trying to keep a journal of my past dreams. I might however instead decide to try out this sleep paralysis thing that Brisineo is doing, since I think that I happened to have somewhat experienced this myself accidentally last night. It felt a lot like you described; a slight numbing sensation through my feet and hands, but unfortunately I was forced to adjust my body's position, as I eventually noticed that I was laying on my arm, which combined with the numbness in my hand from the early stages of sleep paralysis, it all made me feel quite uncomfortable. I'll try it all again tonight if I can remember. Wish me luck!

Oh don't worry, it's not harmful or something. This doesn't just happen with playing Tetris for too long, it can actually happen with anything you do for too long, provided it requires you to look at a place or image for a long time. If you stared at an image of, say, flowers for about 3 hours or something, afterwards, the image of those flowers simply pops into your mind much more often than anything else, but apparently only when your brain isn't concentrating on a task of some kind; usually you only notice the effect when you close your eyes, or when you go bed. I've actually experienced something like this myself after I went fishing a few months ago, but it was only minor I think. Fishing involves staring at a float bobber on a body of water for hours on end. After I came home and soon went to bed that night, I kept on getting fuzzy images of in first person me staring at the same fishing bobber, and sometimes seeing it go underwater and then rising back up again. The amount of time it takes for a tulpa to at least gain sentience is different for everyone. Most likely, it will take at least a month, but for some people, in can take only weeks if their minds are already good at visualizing and stuff. There are lots of ways to make a tulpa, but remember, this tulpa business is something you need to work hard on and commit to. Click here for guides. In case you missed them. A lot of people miss the guides I put on the very first post. Probably because they're too busy reading the rest of this big ass thread. MOAR guides. Don't worry, you will be fine. Like I've said before in the past; you can't screw up your tulpa, unless you actually wanted to, and even then it would be difficult to do so.

Actually, Crepuscule often liked to do just that. Before and a little after she became sentient, I often imagined her, like, actually somehow physically inside my head, looking out to the world through my eyeballs. But it seemed to stop when I first began trying to impose her. So you're not the only one to do that. Heh, sounds like she might give you The Tetris Effect at this rate.

Okay, before I do this, I feel like I have to apologize for a little something first. It's been on my mind for a couple of days. Just something small. I think that my reply to Brisineo's(my reply to him is near the bottom of my post)request to 'filter' the little details of Crepuscule's and my possession experiment was a bit of an overreaction on my part. Looking back on the post now, perhaps Crepuscule was right, I did take a minor thing a bit too far. I haven't been in the best of moods for these past few days. I apologize if I made anyone uncomfortable with what little details I mentioned about Crep's little possession experiment on me. *Awkward laughter* Also Bris, tell Blackjack that Crep, Rose and I said hi; we hope you get along with Bris and Tia' well. And if for some reason you don't; just be thankful that you're out of that wasteland now. If all of those things that happened to you are true, then I can assure you that won't be happening again when you're with Bris and Tia'. Okie doki loki, les do dis. As I said, I haven't really been in the best of moods for a couple of days. But I'm not so bad now. I'm not sure what it was that caused my minor depression, but this emotion seemed to have an affect on my tulpae. It all started when I woke up on about the 3rd of November For that entire day as soon as I woke up, I felt depressed. I suddenly got the feeling like as if Crepuscule and Rose never actually existed. I felt like I had been deluding myself all along. Like as if I suddenly somehow felt like they didn't exist at all, like as if... every time they ever talked to me, I worried; was it all just me? Was it all somehow parroting and I didn't realize it? I know I said that worrying is bad for tulpae progress, but I felt like I couldn't help it. A few minutes after I woke up, Crepuscule said her usual good morning, but this time, I felt like I was parroting it, while at the same time, It still felt the same as when Crepuscule talked by herself. I then asked something along the lines of; "Crep, is that you?" She just said a simple "Yes." Again, it kind of felt like parroting. I then purposely stopped thinking of anything for about a minute, to see if she would say anything. This was a good way for me to make sure I wasn't parroting. Usually she would say something if my mind was thinking of nothing while also at the same time acknowledging that she was listening. But not this time; She was just silent, Rose was too. And for the rest of the day, I was worried and depressed. But not deeply depressed. For some reason, I felt like there was hope, I thought that just maybe this was 'one of those days' of random depression that many people have and Crep and Rose would come back. And yes, they did thankfully. On the same day, just before bed time, I decided to visit the wonderland. Maybe they were just stuck in the wonderland or something? As soon as I imagined myself there, Crepuscule was sitting right in front of me. She suddenly hugged and kissed me before saying that she missed me so much. It all felt like I wasn't parroting, which lifted my spirits. She knew that we hadn't seen each other for the whole day, she looked like she genuinely missed me. And I felt it too. We both missed each other, even if it was only for a day. It actually made me realize for the first time that even though we are both so different, perhaps even opposites, we still both deep down desire to be together, and I think Crep realizes this too. I know I've said I love her before, but now I feel that every moment before that, was more like blind love I think; I loved her and I didn't know why, it just felt like it was the right thing to do because she is a part of me. How could I not love something that is a part of me? But now, I realize that I would genuinely be worse off if she wasn't by my side. Eventually, I noticed that White Rose was nowhere to be seen. I mentally called out to her. Rose said she was there, in my mind. Again, I was relieved that it didn't feel like parroting, but I felt terrible that I forgot about her, I missed her too. She appeared on the bed and the cycle of hugging started again. We then all laid down together on the bed for a while(honestly just lying down, nothing else!), when Rose pointed out that I often had trouble focusing on Crepuscule and her at the same time. She then volunteered to be 'put aside' until Crepuscule was near enough 'finished' in the tulpaforcing process. I refused, but she insisted, saying that I would still see her every now and then, just not as often as Crepuscule, and that it would probably help with Creppy becoming a fully fledged tulpa more quicker. It made sense. With some reluctance, I eventually accepted. After that, I must have fell asleep, as I can't remember anything after that. And now here we are. I sometimes still see Rose pop into my mind to say hi every now and then and talk a bit, and maybe see and interact together in the wonderland, but just not as much as Crep and I. Also, I've noticed something odd about Crepuscule; She's been a bit quiet and glum lately. I know I've said that I somewhat disfavour her... 'energetic' personality, but now I... Kind of miss it. I sort of missed it when she annoyed me about 'those' kinds of things. I'm still slightly depressed, and I think the glumness might be passing onto her as well. She might return to her normal self tomorrow. I hope she does turn back; I'm starting to miss the old Crepuscule that I knew. But if she says she wants her personality to stay more on the quiet side, then I'm okay with that. As long as she's happy, then so am I, that's what I want more than anything; for her to be happy. --- In other news, I'm now going to try and take up lucid dreaming. I've noticed that many successful tulpamancers are sometimes also good at lucid dreaming. I figured that maybe having the ability to lucid dream might help me be more 'connected' to my subconscious, and in turn might help with Crep's sentience and general well being, since she basically IS my subconscious. So, right now I have a little 'dream journal' document on my computer where basically after I wake up, I try to type up as much of my dream as I can remember. I'm told it would be quicker to keep a notepad and pen next to my bed and just write it down, but typing is much easier for me. Also, I need to remember to do little 'reality checks' as I go about my waking day, such as trying to make my finger pass through my hand, or pinching myself, things like that. This is so that maybe while I dream, I might try to do a reality check, and it might help me realize that I am in fact dreaming. Step 1: Reality check throughout the day. Step 2: After waking up from sleep, write down as much as I can remember from the dream I just had, if I can remember if I dreamt at all. Step 3: Repeat step 1 and 2 until lucid dreaming. Step 4: Dream of myself air-guitaring to while snowboarding down an exploding mountain while shooting down robot Pterodactyls with laser cannons while dodging rocket launcher-wielding zombie ninjas. "...All while you make out with me." Of course. How could I forget tha- Wait a minute, I thought you were supposed to be all depressed and stuff? "Well, you don't seem to be depressed anymore, so why would I be?" Clever girl.

Actually, I have to correct you a bit. I know that plenty of people on the tulpa forums have talked about falling asleep while forcing, but there has never been any evidence ever to suggest that falling asleep while forcing can have a negative affect on your tulpa(e). I have done it quite a few times myself, never has either of my tulpae gotten angry or upset at me for falling asleep while in the wonderland. But that might just be me; there is every possibility for you guys that it might have an effect on them if you do fall asleep. But again, I've never actually heard anyone on the tulpa forums say that falling asleep while tulpaforcing has an affect on their tulpa.

Well, I think I actually explain why at some point in the very post you want to read later. I type what they want me to write(as long as it isn't take TOO far) because I love them both, and I think I would feel bad if I deprived them of that little piece of freedom. Besides, it'll let you guys get to know their personality better, and provides a look at some of the interesting conversations we have. Great advice! Hour counts for me were so distracting. I too suggest you guys to get rid of them, and just go with a 'It's done when it's done' attitude. Or don't, use hour counts if you like using them. As I said, there is no wrong way to make a tulpa. Well, actually, all I said was that MAYBE for SOME people, imagining a massive wonderland might be difficult or brain aching, because there is more to imagine. No one really knows if what I said a few posts ago about wonderlands being massive is bad is actually true. I was just merely suggesting a possible cause as to why some people find it difficult to make a wonderland. I actually do have a really big wonderland, and it's alright for me. But it might be because I'm still bad at visualizing, or that I half the time don't even take notice of the large expanse of ocean outside of my little underwater house. *Giggle* "Perhaps she has learned from me?" *Cough* You can go into Tia's body?! "If you know what he means." *Wink* Shush you! I didn't mean like that. You can possess her body? Is this in the wonderland or outside of it? I would love to know how to do that with Crep. "Yes, because I'm sure you're curious about how my-" *Puts hands on ears* Shut it! I know what you are going to say, and I don't want to hear it! I know that what goes on between us might be scary and creepy, but believe me when I say this: FOR SCIENCE! I actually do filter the 'details', A LOT. But I ain't going to sugarcoat my experiences. It is what it is. People either become curious, learn and research about what they hear, or they can remain ignorant of the subject if it seems too scary for them to handle, that's not my problem. I have the mindset of a scientist; when I hear about something that sounds crazy, I don't go; "This idea sounds insane. So I'm just going to bury my head in the sand and hope it goes away." or something. A scientist says: "That's interesting, how does it work? Why does it work this way?" etc when they hear about something that breaks their ways of thinking. You know the Wright Brothers, the guys that basically invented the aeroplane? If I remember correctly, before they decided to show their invention for the first time for people to see, many 'reporters' said something along the lines of: "This idea is absolute rubbish. You would have to be insane to think that this would actually work." And guess what, those 'insane' brothers are now pretty much the only reason that you can take a holiday to wherever you want on the planet, taking less than an entire day to get there. Sometimes you can learn a lot from 'insane' people. If people have something bad to say about this, and they didn't research about this beforehand, then I don't want to hear what they have to say. It's not my problem that they are so ignorant. "Okay Benny, let's calm down now. You may be my little egg head, but you're really starting to look like one of those mad scienti-" Mad? MAD?! HOW CAN I POSSIBLY BE A MAD SCIENTIST?! I'M CLEARLY NOT INSANE! "Um, well-" NOW, *Picks up bonesaw* LET'S FIND OUT WHAT THE BONE DENSITY OF A PONY TULPA IS LIKE, HMM?! *Eye twitch* *Nervous laughter* "OKAY now Ben, let's just... Put the saw down now, shall we?" FOR SCIENCE!!!1! *Runs away screaming*

Hello again, nothing major has happened lately, just a minor thing or two. For a few days now, me and Crepuscule have been experimenting somewhat with a little something called... Possession. ... ... ... *Lightning strikes behind me* MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH- *Record scratch* No wait, don't run away! Come back! It's not as scary as it sounds! Maybe. (and since it's Halloween. How convenient.) So yes, Crep and I have actually tried out what it feels like for her to possess my body. Actually, we kind of figured it out by accident one night. "Yes, by accident, while it was bouncy time, actually." I heard that! I told you not to tell them that! "Oh, yeah. Well, bit late now." Grr! Why does everything interesting have to happen when we do 'that' stuff?! "You know, you don't have to type down everything she tells you to write, Ben." I know but... I love her. I love you both. "See, everypony? He's my little slave now." "I told you." I'll get you back! But anyway, me and Crepuscule have indeed dabbled in this 'possession' business. It's actually not as scary as it sounds, really. I'm going to try and tell you want it feels like, but remember, we've only done this a few times. All it really feels like is that your mind is getting filled with a foreign personality. I also kind of feel like she is actually inside me and my limbs, controlling me. I could even feel like I had her mane on top of my head, her plaid hair draping down the back of my very neck when she possesses me(I can't feel it 'touching' my neck per say, but I somehow always feel it taking up that space). I can always snap out of it at anytime, and she can only possess me if I willingly let her. So she has never suddenly made me do something while I go about my day or anything. I can also see everything she does while she controls me, so my conciousness is still there, I'm just simply letting her control my body, but I can always take myself back whenever I want. It's actually not as complicated as it sounds; you might think I would need to concentrate really hard or something, but nope; I just think of her taking my body, and that's it, she just takes it when she's ready. Problem is however, that the 'connection' is often very weak (we still need to practice), so the whole thing for me usually only lasts about 3 to 10 seconds at a time. The first thing she usually takes control of is my facial expression. Sometimes she can change it if she wants to. She's even managed to talk through me a few times, my voice sounds slightly different, but only slightly, it still sounds like me, only a little higher, nothing extremely unusual. After that, if we can keep the 'connection' going long enough, she can take control of my limbs. Again, we've only done this a few times, all she has been able to do is mostly feel around. Also, sometimes I might purposely break the connection, as sometimes she jokes around and tries to make my hands do... naughty things. ... But anyway, I feel I should say this to everyone reading this: I know some of you are probably thinking that Crepuscule is going to somehow use this technique to try and hurt me or something. Like, physically. No. That is literally not possible, she cannot do anything that I don't want her to do, since I can snap back and reclaim my body no matter what is going on. And she cannot ever take control of my body if I don't want her to. Besides, I KNOW that Crepuscule wouldn't do something like that. I've lived with Creppy long enough that I know she wouldn't ever want to hurt anypony. I know what she is like on the inside. I know that deep down, she is a very kind person that just wants to make me and everypony happy. Trust me. But anyway, let's very quickly move on to some slightly more sanity-friendly news, shall we? A few days ago, I asked Crepuscule and White Rose if they would like a Cutie Mark, and if so, I would like to try and make a picture of it. Both of them said they would like one. And their choice were quite interesting, so instead of me telling you what they wanted, I decided to just show said pictures instead. We'll start with White Rose: It's basically a love heart with a white rose on top of it. No I didn't draw it, but I did edit it in a way. The love heart and the white rose on top of it was actually two separate images that I found on Google Images. I just had to resize them, remove their backgrounds, put it all together and boom, done. And of course, here's Crepuscule's: *Facehoof* Yes, I know. She asked for it though. And if you think about it, it actually kind of fits Crepuscule for who she is. Again, I didn't draw it, except for the outline of the lipstick mark. Crepuscule's Cutie Mark was again just an image I found off of Google images, all I had to do was draw a small outline around and in the lip, remove the white background that was behind the lipstick mark, resize it to fit on dat cute little flank of her's, and that was it. (I didn't import the image through the 'Pony creator game', since I found it to be too buggy. So I just edited it all through Photoshop.) So, in all honesty, it wasn't really that hard. "You say it wasn't hard, then why did it take like, what, 2 and a half hours to make both?" Hey, it was Photoshop! The thing crashed on me twice! "Sure it did." *Grumble* "Now kiss it." Huh? Kiss what? "My flank, Ben. Obviously." *Wiggles flank* What?! Why would I do that?! "Because you love me. Now Kiss. It. You know you want to." Wh- I... Well... ... *considers it* ... *Suddenly notices the whole forum is watching* Gah! I mean no, I would never do something like that! I won't kiss your adorable ass! "Well then. It's punishment time in the wonderland, little slave." Little? Slave? What are yo- NO! NO STOP! NO, WAIT! *Dragged towards bed* HELP ME!! "I hope you like whips." NOOOOOO!! "And tasers." HELP MEEEE- *Door slams* ... ... ...

I notice a lot of people are saying they are scared that they might be doing something wrong. A lot of you are saying things like, 'This happened. Is this bad?' or 'I do this and this like this. Am I doing it right?'. And that sort of paranoia is natural; I felt like that too when I first started. But you see, truth is... There is literally no wrong way to make a tulpa. I mean that in no exaggeration at all. Trust me. The process for making a tulpa is different for EVERYONE. Just because some guy says that he experienced this at this time through the process, does not mean you will experience it at that time too. If you experience it at all. For example, I have heard a lot of people say they get head pressures while they go about their sessions. Well, for me, I cannot remember a time where I had ever experienced head pressures since I started on my tulpae. You might, or you might not. If you don't, don't worry; that doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. The only thing that is important throughout this whole thing, is that you feel comfortable doing it the way you want to. If you feel a certain way is most comfortable for you, then do it. And if you get some strange feeling, or your tulpa does something unexpectedly at a time it apparently shouldn't, and you are worrying that you did it all wrong and that it will hinder your progress, then it will, simply because you are worrying. Worrying whether you are doing it right or not is about as bad as not even trying to create a tulpa in the first place. Don't worry, just roll with it. Everyone's experiences are different And if you had a strange experience that you want to share with us, then post about it, and we'll all try and help each other make sense of it.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I can help you with this part, since my method is quite different from yours. I'm not in anyway saying your method is bad, in fact it's probably better than mine, it's just that it's different; yours involves sitting down at certain times of the day, and waiting for them to talk. Whereas mine, is talking to them at any time I can remember them, and simply listening for the first thing I think of. I do what is called subconscious parroting. If I ask Crepuscule or Rose a question, I basically let my subconscious answer it, since she is my subconscious. And how I do this, is to listen for the first thing I think of after I ask the question, and that is her answer. This isn't difficult to do. If someone asks you; "Do you want thing A? Or thing B?" You may have heard yourself say in your mind; "Thing A, I want thing A." That is your subconscious. It is difficult for me to explain, so I will link you to the guide where I found this technique. JDBar's Tulpa Method Link to the forum post of the guide above. Hmm... I think the problem is that you are imagining too much. You say your wonderland is a field with a giant tree in the middle, plus the shadow of it. That sounds too big of a wonderland, and your mind can't handle that much wonderland at once. My wonderland is really small, it's just a two room house underwater. Although then again, I do sometimes look outside to see the ocean and the hills in the distance with the sun glistening through the water on them, so... I'm not sure. However, my visualization is still rubbish, but I still know where I am in the wonderland and where everypony is if they are there. I don't really focus on trying to 'see' everything, I just sense where I am, and forget about seeing it. I almost always use closed-eye visualization, so it's easier to concentrate, but many people say that visualizing with your eyes open can often provide a clearer picture. I have tried myself, and it does work, but it's very difficult for me to concentrate with my eyes open, since there is stuff in my vision distracting me. I've found that sitting in a very dark room will ease the concentration a little, but I still get distracted sometimes. Maybe you will have better luck with open-eyed visualization. There have been times however where I swore I could just barely see some of my wonderland in my real eyes with them still closed. I took a look at my hands while in the wonderland, and saw only outlines, but they were slightly more clearer than usual. The effect only lasted about 10 seconds, but It could be a sign that my closed-eye visualization skills are getting better. Crepuscule says she wouldn't mind talking, Rose says she is a bit shy, but will try to talk if she can. How will we talk to one another? If you're thinking as in like, over Skype or something, I myself have actually never used my microphone to talk on the internet, since I'm very shy about talking to people over the internet with my real voice. Both of the girls are saying they would rather just talk back and forth through Private Message on this site, as it will give them more time to think about what to say. I would like to just go with Private Message as well.