Stone Cold Steve Jobs

Hey now! Been nipped at before! All that hopping around you & snarling is just a dominance show!

 ...Now when it's charging at you full tilt from a distance away with every growl it can muster... yes, warranted. And maybe match the "trigger" to the size of the dog, perhaps.

 I love dogs! I'd prefer to err on their side! Little Girls...Eh, we've got tons of those around.

If we get bit or otherwise injured, the supervisors will write us up or try to fire us. They've done it before.

 I used to like dogs. 

Nyo, nyo. All wrong.

 It's:   Tryhard Spackle.

 Hackn'Yack.

  Butterbutt.

 Stinky Cry.

  Hilarity.

  And of course, my favorite: Painboom Smash!

  ...and let's not forget the younger fillies:  AppleDoom, Pooterloo and Squeaky Yell!

Squeaky Yell sounds like a different name for squeakers on violent video games.

i like it.

Aren’t......... most delivery trucks designed to be missing a door? Even in places where it gets dangerously cold in the winter? I’ve been inclined to think sense in design does not come into play here.

They all have the doors on them. It's just people drive with them open. They also don't have air conditioning.

 I leaned against my truck to tie a shoe once and it shifted forward like two feet. They're basically tin cans on wheels.

I would love to be able to help you, but I just don't know enough about any of what you've described to give you any remotely reliable advice. 

Have you tried looking for an organisation or someone with experience in helping with problems like that?

They help somewhat, if only for a time, but this nonsense always comes back. Like cholera.

It's a win because you restrained your instincts true strength is willpower 

I agree with @Johnny1226.

I don't know. His shtick is all about death, right? Kind of have to go out by faking your own death somehow & that's a tall order!

They have had him “killed” before but he always comes back. He is supposed to be someone you can’t kill because he’s already dead.

I see him using his final match to put over one more person. You beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania and you’re not Roman Reigns, and you’re over.

 If they had him break character for a promo though... where he came out not as the dead man but as Mark Calaway... it would have a tone of finality to it that no amount of WrestleMania defeats would ever match.

...The way you say "job" makes me think you're a hitman...

What are you, a cop or something?

Oh goodness, I hope he feels better...  

Take care of yourself!

He seems okay. They do not know the cause of death for her yet. May have been drugs, may have been heart problems.

Alright, bed time. Ran out of vodka.

The way I read this, it's a six-part question:

If your kerbal and a Martian were both drowning in a ship why did the chicken cross the road boo boo who what kind of sandwich would you make what?

The answer is clearly forty-five nothings of response, an absence of bear, instant death, and a pineapple-pizza sandwich. Which are all approximately equivalent, given that Ursa Minor is the sustainer of bacterial life on the surface of the aforementioned sandwich and constantly queries the abyss for augmented answers to Life, The Universe, And Everything.

Breathe the cosmos and touch Its furry hide, repulsed by the subversion of existence contained within the pizzafied microcosm.

Yes, that's the correct answer. Good work.

Well, gotta fill out those crowd shots fast. When most of the civilians are just color swaps anyway, ya try to do 'em fast as you can. So what if they miss a few eyeballs or limbs here & there?

It would be a whole lot darker if there were headless horses everywhere. Then you cut to that scene from The Godfather and scar 2 million kids. 

Guys I think I have an idea for a spin-off series.

 We do have a cannon Headless Horse. Folklore to scare the little fillies, but still counts.

I'll make you a deal, whichever one of us finds who or whatever is responsible for this terrible year, brings it to the other so we can take turns beating it to itty bitty pieces of confetti.

He was not worthy. 

He goes, “Is that a joke?”

I’m like, “If you’re not laughing it wasn’t one.”

Everyone always says that. About every fandom. As much as this franchise pulls in, it ain't going anywhere!

 ...better not before I can manage to get into it...

Ding ding, Mr. Widders. Ed gets dragged off by the ear for a bad report card and Eddy by his arms. 

Inaccurate, by the way. When i was a kid i would be all but hanged, drawn, and quartered if i got a submarine grade (any grade below C level)

But, aaahhh... despite all that, your Pops is better now, right? 

Better than he was. His ankles are killing him though. He needs a walker now just to get around the house. Walking around work all day is definitely not happening right now.

Pfft, plenty rats leaving ship these days. I'm one if them; one way or another, Trump bodes ill.

Personally, I prefer a "village shaman" setup where nobody makes you do anything. Just on you if you don't listen.

How do i delete this from my notifications.

You can't. You pretty much just have to hope the conversation dies out and others let it drop.So, patience, pretty much.

 'Cause asking about it makes little annoying Dips like me want to prolong things just to antagonize. But surely, I have limits to my muzzy-head fuzzing!

 ... I know you're going through some stuff, @Libra. Do what makes you happy, eh? ...and if getting angry over politics does that for you, I wish you the bestest of luck there as well! 

Apparently.

...

 LOVE SAC! Baby, LOVE SAC!! That’s where it’s at!!! 

 ...oy, what’s with the look? Them changelings in the show feed off of “Love” so they’d need a gland fo’ it, right, eh?

It's like the shake weight of sofas.

also how do you feed off of love? I feed off discontent and negativity because it's good fiber. Love is just empty calories though.

 I dunno. Apparently via giant, green, matrix goo-vats. Because imprisonment doesn’t curb feelings of affection. No being said this kids’ show wasn’t also successible to sci-fi tropes too!

 Me, I feed off attention. Easier to do; why there’s so many social media platforms these days.

To answer the not wearing uniform thing, the lady may have been an entry level carrier. You don’t get uniform until 90-180 days of work have passed. As for the driving on lawns thing, I guarantee she was fired immediately if she was entry level or written up if she was regular.

did I ever show you the runaway mail truck video?

EeeNope.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sqjO6QG0oS8

Yeah, so this is why they curb the wheels, use the emergency brake, and take the keys. They even tell you, "If the truck runs away from you, don't even bother chasing it. You're already fired."

I personally just call living creatures "Currently Active Biological Tissue #XXXXXXXXXX."

It makes my parrot very interesting to be around.

Currently active biological tissue That is a lot to pronounce everypony is easier and as for the griffins it was their choice to live that way originally they seemed to be quite well off then became  greedy and  just like the dwarves in lord of the rings collapsed I suppose that's what happens when your entire culture revolves around a trinket 

D. W. Griffith was pretty stuck up, I agree.

Oh, griffins? Okay, you have the floor.