Stone Cold Steve Jobs

Well, we all now Mario does love his 'shrooms!

   ...sliced & pan-fried onto his'a spagetti! He sure does love his pasta, if the Mario Show taught us anything.

waifu. Noun. (fandom slang) A fictional character from non-live-action visual media (typically an anime, manga, or video game) that one is attracted to and considers a significant other.

Oh God, what happens if someone combines that with rule 34? 

Actually, never mind. I don't want to know.

  From what I've heard, it basically just means a character that represents what you deem as positive qualities in a mate. The male version being Husbando... or as we call it in the MLP fandom... Horsebando!

  One could assume it extends to, say, literary methods, just so long as there isn't an actor or a real face to it. Like, Lara Croft from the video games, sure, Lara Croft from specifically that one movie where Angelina Jolie attempted it, eh... likely not.

  I dunno what Rule 34 is. That the "There's something perverted about it somewhere on the Internet, regardless of what it is" one?

...Who?

   Was he some sorta pressy-dent ah somethin'? He that feller that dun invented lemons?

Imagine that.

  I don't even know what a Liberal is. How is it something to get offended by or even make a joke about?

  ...is it something you can eat?...

Depends. A true liberal is someone who believes that we as people can coexist and get along, and that there are exceptions to every people. For example, not all muslims are evil terrorists. I completely agree with these liberals. 

The ones I hate are the ones who take it to such an extreme that they become fearful of everything and everyone else to such an extent, that they capitulate their very souls and become part of the everyday person hating menace. These are the ones who won't dare criticize islam, but have blind hatred for other religions; the ones who ignore any crimes committed by the ones they support while screaming over crimes committed by what they view as the enemy. These are the ones I make fun of.

   ...so, its the hypocrisy then you don't like?

  Because if one is crackin' wise about a subset of a way of thinking that is signified enough to be given a readily discernible level of interpretation as a certain group of people, then I can see how that can easily come across as hating others for their ideals.

  Then again, pretty much all political talk sounds like that to me.

  Sometimes even hateful humor can be funny, but I can understand if the devs thought your joke was a little too hateful to have you doing it too much.

 I took the HIIIIWAY TO NITE-NITE!!

What? No Pre-Cambrian Era?

   ...Ageist!

  Haw! Gad that was terrible!

How dare you assume my era!!!

Celebrating what? That there's a city called Manchester?

   ...I don't get no news.

At least 19 are dead and 50 are wounded after an apparent suicide bombing in Manchester.

The middle of the galaxy tastes like cherries. 

 I hear that Voyager will just keep traveling unhindered for several more thousand years, picking up debris and stuff until it reaches the end of the universe... where it then gains sentience to come back to threaten mankind & all of existence!

  That'll be cool!

Or it will get bored over time and rage quit the universe, i.e vanish

I heard somewhere that a group of scientists found a perfectly preserved mammoth. It looked like if you thawed it out it would walk off. No sign of decomposition.

they tested the body, and when it turned out to be safe, they cooked part of it and ate it. There is a group of scientists somewhere on earth that can say with all honesty they've eaten mammoth before.

Also I know what you're thinking, and yes, it did apparently taste like chicken.

Nuh-uh, I was thinking if it was possible to eat the scientists!

  What, circle of life!

Scientists are good eating.

Hey, the food table can look lonely and in need of company too!

Well, hey... If you mean "Keep eating until you no longer have any food in the house" theeeen... Sure!

  I'm sure going back for thirds doesn't count. I know I have eaten Breakfast & Lunch at the same time before!

  In fact, a few times I've taken so long to eat my breakfast that I decided to just cut corners and go into lunch immediately after finishing!

One of my friends ordered a pie from dominos, ate seven slices, proclaimed he was full, and then finished eating anyway. He was sick for two days.

I have a sudden intense desire to legally change my name to Aneutron Star.

Jimmy Neutron beat you to the last name.

Well, they are... were human after all. Gotta respect da dead ya know!

In my opinion the government would steal a penny off a dead man's eye.

  Nah, that ain' true! Last time that practice was followed it was solid gold coins that were used for that, and honestly, you gonna let a deadman lay claim to gold he ain't gonna use?

   ...I would much rather suggest we bury our dead in the same manner... but with whole chariot wheels.

           That will keep the buggers down there.

Oml! Thats great!